T Nation

The Grammar Nazi Thread


#1

I've done one of these before, but it was years ago and I posted it in GAL where it was about as effective as one of those rocks thrown by Palestinian kids at Israeli tanks. Also I made it on topic by putting the word "Nazi" in the thread title. I'll post as I feel, but feel free to post your own as well. While I enjoy the opportunity to self-aggrandize by pontificating upon the tedium of others' writing as if it were a measure of value, I am also a generous sort, and welcome your (vigorously proofread) submissions.

Enjoy :wink:


#2

1.Your vs. You're

Your = 2nd person possessive pronoun. It is typically followed by words such as "mother," "seat," and "fallacious attempt at misdirection." If you find yourself writing the words "a," "not," or "wrong," directly afterward, it is suggested you follow the usage advice offered for "you're" below. Following this word with the oft paired "dumb" is, while ironic, a particularly egregious example of the error.

There is no verb contained within it, so you'll have to add your own.(see you're)

You're = Contraction of the words "you" and "are." This clause has an interesting history. Originally created to streamline conversations among intellectuals, it fell into the wrong hands and was somehow leaked to the general public, many of whom, despite having yet learned to read or write, were determined to use this "$5 word," as it was sometimes referred to by their original opponents, in any way saw fit. Sadly, this once great tool of communication has now come to be used almost solely as a method of exacerbating the frustration of one's already irritated opponent on the internet.

Use should be avoided. If tempted, consider substituting "your." (see above)


#3

!.,?:;"' - There they are. Use them, assholes.


#4

When giving your opinion, the correct idiom is "two cents worth" not "two sense worth".


#5

I don't mind the occasional typo, but misuse of the following words:

Your
You're
Weird (it's not "wierd", morons!)
Who's
Whose
It's
Its
Their
They're
There
Lose
Loose

... is annoying. Especially when done consistently.

Also "txt" speak.

People who consistently fail at grammar or being semi-readable when posting (and of course working on the assumption English is their first language) infuriate me to no end.

I am disappointment in you're grammer


#6

So is it:
"You're wierd sister lose"
or
"Your weird sister is loose."?


#7

The first sentence requires a comma between the last two words and contains a spelling error.

The second is grammatically correct.

Incidentally, though the statement "I loosed your weird sister," may be factually correct, it is to be avoided in good company.


#8

Mak, I always knew you were a Nazi at heart.

<3


#9

hay guyz, wats goin on in he're!


#10

ZERE VILL BE ORDER IN MEIN READING MATERIAL


#11

2. To vs. Too vs. 2 (Two)

Appropriately, the second common error we will discuss in my ongoing series is the proper use of the words "to," "too," and their homophonic (not a judgment, note the "n") cousin located at the top of the page.

To = indicates direction in space, time or degree. An essential component of the English language. Never an indicator of agreement.

Too = agreement. Archaic. Consider substituting, "I know, right? What a moron."

2 = A numeral greater than 1 and less than 3.. Not to be confused with "too," above, however conceptually similar. The confusion may have arisen from the practice of absent minded mathematicians occasionally interspersing algebraic formulae such as "X2," and "X1000000000" throughout postings on internet message boards, where it suffered an unfortunate similar fate to "you're" above.

Occasionally mistakenly written "two," the absurdity of which can be clearly seen in its ridiculous, "dare to be different," spelling.


#12

this thread should obviously be in GettA Life


#13

Well, it appears that now we have a Category Nazi, here, as well.

The ignorance of accepted rules of style, lack of punctuation, poor spelling, and mistaken rendering of the forum name indicate clearly he is not one of us.


#14

3. Lose vs. Loose

Lose = briefly: [v.] to become deprived of or unable to find something. Also, to shed or reduce (e.g. weight). Not a misspelling, variant or root of "loose," nor is it an older form. It is always used as a vowel. This thread marks the first time it has ever appeared in these forums. Please extend your warmest welcome.

n.b. Pronounced looz.

Loose = [adj.] allowing freedom of movement, unrestrictive, not firmly attached; [v.] to unleash something. Can be used to describe clothes, screws, caps, hair ties, teeth, escaped farm animals, women and, most unfortunately, the meanings of words, including itself.

It should not be used to describe the process of shedding weight or reducing the cellular size of one's fat cells. (see above) If cainophobia prevents you from employing the more appropriate "lose," consider substituting "destroy," "annihilate," "incinerate," or "obliterate weight," all of which make far more sense than "loosing" it and make you sound cool and extreme in the process.

n.b. Pronounced loos


#15

Here is a good read: http://www.amazon.com/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Tolerance-Punctuation/dp/1592400876


#16

When "these ones" or "those ones" is uttered, my toes curl. The only scenario in which the word "one" may be pluralized is in reference to a group of ones, or rather 1s.
My grandfather was an editor for the Denver Post. I never spoke during holiday dinners.


#17

I haven't read this, but have seen it and now that I have read the summary I will probably buy it, thanks.

I honestly think that Strunk and White's Elements of Style should be required as the first book read in every English class in every public school, every year from the 7th grade until the 12th.

It is only 105 pages, can be read and easily grasped in a day or two, and is light enough to serve as a reference that they are required to bring to class each day with their textbook.

Teachers should be tested on its contents, too.

Seriously. Not joking.


#18

Not only is it wrong, it's redundant. Just say "these."

For some reason this reminds me of one of the pet peeves of my 18th century British literature professor (yes, I had one, and he was a saint of a man who made an fun, engaging class out of the most lye-guzzlingly dull material you could ever imagine).

"A whole nother."

Why go out of your way to add an extra letter to make something wrong?


#19

.


#20

Sometimes I wish, just a teensy bit, it were true.