T Nation

The Gagne Outrage


#1


Having recently partaken in the somewhat dubious pleasure of watching the LA Dodgers, I find I can contain myself no longer with regard to a certain "Eric Gagne" who pitches for them.

Evidently, he's been hanging around the league for a couple of years, and I'm willing to concede he might be a passably good pitcher, despite the fact that he is ... well, (there's really no nice way to say this, I fear), French ? or, more precisely, French-Canadian ... a distinction "sans" difference, mais oui? It just goes to prove the power of the American Dream ...

But I digress. Look, I'm old enough to remember a pretty fair ballplayer with the same last name who played for the Minnesota Twins ... Greg, as I recall now ... a REAL ballplayer, by the way ? that is, the type who plays every day and gets his uniform dirty, in contrast to, say, a relief pitcher. THAT Mr. Gagne had the common decency to pronounce every letter in his name, the way God intended Real Americans to do: i.e GAG-nee.

Now, however, this popinjay in Los Angeles (where else?!) has the temerity to affect some preposterous Eurotrash pronunciation: i.e. GONE-yay. Can you say "outr?," boys and girls?

(Excuse me while I take my glycerine pills ? I get apoplectic sometimes at the mere thought of it)

Anyway ... the state of America's game is arguably bad enough, what with that rum-runner Jones playing centerfield for the Atlanta Braves, the one who can't seem to manage to spell his first name properly. Moreover, I'm told some bumptious fellow with the Anaheim Angels is going by the (ahem) singular first name of "Chone," and I've been assured it's pronounced just like "Shawn"! This, just when I thought we'd heard the last of "Shay-Juan" Dunston.

Noah Webster, who first led us from bondage under the imperial dictates of "Merrie Oulde" England, must be spinning in his grave. Remembering how he freed our language from the "colours" and "flavours" of corrupt empire, I'll not stand silently by and suffer this abuse to continue unchallenged.

No, in thunder! This aggression will not stand. Surely it's enough that seventeen percent of the English language already is a direct result of the Francophile Invasion of 1066? One might usefully bear in mind the Plague: it, too, is ever-prone to disturbing reemergences in the gutters of Paris.

Eternal vigilance is indeeed the cost of freedom.

Ever Yr Humble Correspondent,

Dick Peligro
~~~

  • A Special Contributor has enlightened us as to what, in any event, Brian Boitano would do, for which we are most grateful.

#2

Tubesteak Boogie.


#3

WHAT!?


#4

T U B E S T E A K B O O G I E


#5

Dick... what an appropriate name.

Sorry to hear you're a writer. Eat KD much?


#6

I hate baseball but this was truly the most entertaining post ever on this site. The rest of you can go...tubesteak yourself!


#7

Yawn.


#8

Well Dick, if his name pisses you off, you would have a stroke trying to pronounce the names here in south Louisiana. Most of the names are Cajun French(Canadian French). Sorry you're so sensitive.LOL


#9

For the record, Greg Gagne, an infielder who spent most of his career with the Twins, basically sucked. Eric Gagne is one of the most unhittable closers ever.

The only thing outrageous is this stupid ass thread.


#10

AMEN brother!


#11

Thats not really that bad but what is bad is the practice I'm seeing all the time of people saying words that come from or are derived from languages other than English or names that aren't English in some stupid accent. They don't speak in the accent, just the stupid word. Like when some stupid newswoman gives the whole news in perfect English and then announces her name with a strong pretentious accent. I saw that woman on the Italian cooking show on Food Network say mozzarella with an Italian accent and you could tell she wasn't being funny. When I watch tv I always see about 500 commercials for getting soccer on dish on demmand and the narrator says," the fastest sport on planet earth, Latin Soccer". He says every word in relatively normal English but the word Latin with a strong accent. I'm tired of this pretentious, multi-cultural, pc, trying to be different and cool bullshit. Stop it.


#12

Interesting.

Tell you what. I used to practice the doublespeak you talk about ... as an hommage to the original foreign culture. Whether the name came from Germany, France, Spain, Mexico, Japan, whatever. I mean, if you are going to borrow a term from some foreign culture, why bastardize its pronunciation?

As someone who speaks French, it`s still fun to hear the word Lingerie pronounced in its native language instead of lawn-ger-ey every now and then.

But my English teachers told me the exact same thing you did. She told me that one has to keep in mind that some pronunciations just don`t cross over well and that that lawn-ger-ey thing was something like the best available compromise.

Now I don`t care how bizarre it sounds, as long as the message gets thru.


#13

Which reminds me... ever heard Japanese people say McDonald... sounds like Makku Donaldo. Kinda funny. Sidney = Sidoney. Etc.


#14

Idiotic xenophobia.

I'd like to see Verne Gagne put this dumbass in a front facelock and choke him OUTR.


#15

you're....an......ignorant.....fag.

on more than one level.

you're cultural ignorance is laughable.

as for baseball, gagne has electric stuff and with a few more years could become one of the most dominant closers ever. greg gagne was and average player who literally could have been traded for a bag of balls, a few fungoes, a few tins of dip, a minor leauger and a rosin bag. next thing you'll be telling us gary gaetti was the man.

go back to your trailer you friggin rube.


#16

Well, well, well ... two years later, does anyone else care to excoriate me -- after watching the "electric stuff" of Monsieur Gagne for the Red Sox this past postseason?...


#17

"... and with a few more years ... one of the most dominant closers ever" Yeah ... right. How do you like me now, juice boy?


#18

[quote]juice20jd wrote:
you're....an......ignorant.....fag.

on more than one level.

you're cultural ignorance is laughable.

as for baseball, gagne has electric stuff and with a few more years could become one of the most dominant closers ever. greg gagne was and average player who literally could have been traded for a bag of balls, a few fungoes, a few tins of dip, a minor leauger and a rosin bag.

He was a defensive specialist with a very solid glove, back before middle infielders took steroids so they could hit homers, too.
A .970 career fielding average is "average"?