Cats are demon spawn that are trying to fool humanity. Luckily they are so driven by negative emotions that it is quite easy for some people to see through the facade.
Not that I have anything against cats… or demon spawn for that matter…
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Eh? I don’t understand this part. Can you elaborate?
Anecdote time!
I used to live with my aunt, uncle and their 2 kids (12 and 5). They had a cat named Sarah. Now Sarah was a typical cat, she wasn’t overly social but she did make an appearance fairly often. The whole family loved this cat. When I 1St moved there I was told not to pick up the cat or she might scratch. I was fine with that. The kids would play with her but if she had enough she would hiss or scratch and than run away. My aunt and uncle would always try to get her up on the couch with them but she never did. I continued to ignore her.
About 2weeks after staying there, the cat comes into the loungeroom where we were all in watching TV. The whole family are basically begging the cat to sit with one of them. The cat turns her nose up at them all and promptly jumps up to snuggle with me! I flick her off after a laugh but she didn’t seem to mind.
The entire 2years I lived there I would be the only one she would sit with. If I fell asleep on the couch I would wake up with Sarah next to me. She even started trying to get in my room, which I would not allow. I only ever treated her neutrally. Oftentimes pushing her away and telling her I don’t like her (half joking).
Now I’m a pretty happy kinda guy. But it’s when I had the shits from work or when I was grumpy in the morning is when she would pay me the most attention. Feeding off my negativity!
To this day if I visit, Sarah will leave the house and sit on my ute until I leave.
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Disclaimer: I never hurt the cat. I love animals. It’s just super odd how cats will display affection to the people who are the least into them. Bit like some girls I know!
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Uhhhh did that answer your question? I have a funny feeling that it didn’t! Lmao
So you don’t like pussy?
No, see, it was the opposite. You were depressed because the cat sucked the positive energy from you. They suck it from your breath while you sleep. Then they hang around you for a while as a cover up.
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Oh, see I thought they feed on and feed off the negative emotions but you are saying they suck positive energy. Makes sense now that I think about it… still demon spawn! Haha
Yes, you are right about being demon spawn. People in the West believe they suck the lifeforce from babies while they sleep. People in the East believe they suck positive energy. It can’t possibly just a coincidence!
Positive energy = yang (good shit like birth, light and men)
Negative energy = yin (bad shit like evil spirits, death and women)
Cats, like women, are full of yin energy, which is why they need to suck the positive energy from men. It’s also why they can see ghosts!
Oh shut up, feminists. I’m just joking.
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…maybe give yourself more credit?
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Oh God the fucking baby talk. I hope that cat swallows each and every one of their souls and takes a shit in the sink.
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I like the spackle on the wall where the owners bashed the head of the last cat against the drywall.
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My wife has ruined me. I baby talk to our cat.
…And he is PURE demon spawn.
This story explains our cat exactly.
My wife runs around trying to get our cat to love her, picking him up, trying to cuddle with him, giving him treats, etc…
I spray him with water (yes we have squirt bottles in most rooms because he attacks guests and I have a few friends who are not cat people; so to save them from kicking the cat, they can protect themselves with water), I push him out of the way when he is determined to walk UNDER my feet, and I’m constantly removing him from all tables/cabinets/etc that he constantly climbs onto with his dirty little cat litter covered paws.
…and guess who he wants to cuddle with? Although he does try to test the Alpha position in the house sometimes and we battle it out.
I didn’t used to be a cat person, but this little bastard has some personality.
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I don’t know what the fuck yalls problems are. My cats are cool as shit
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No matter how cool your cats are, you still end up with a box full of crap in your house.
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My cat rings a bell tied to a string on the door to go out to poop/pee whatever…no liter no smell.
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That’s awesome! Our cat is 99% an indoor cat. Once in awhile we let him out into the fenced in portion of our yard, briefly.
We have quite a few fishers and coyotes in the area, and unfortunately a lot of cats seem to go ‘missing’ when they are outdoor cats.
I have those, and before neutering I had screaming female cats in heat outside my bedroom window. Especially obnoxious since it was summer and I needed the air flow.
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Unless your cat shits outside like a normal cat.
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@littlesleeper -you have absolutely nailed the essence of “catowning” LOL!
Jordan Peterson: “To me, cats are a manifestation of nature, of Being, in an almost pure form. Furthermore, they are a form of Being that looks at human beings and approves.”
I’m thinking fickle, capricious, yet still worthy.
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