T Nation

The Flame-Free Confession Thread II


I find truth interferes with my sophism.


That is not a sophist argument to make.


I’ll need you to be present at my trial.

Or you may be proof of the claim…


The five stages of getting a stomach bug

  1. Fear. The kid is repeatedly vomiting and I’m unwilling to go near him.

  2. Determination. Sanitize everything. Clean everything. Kill the virus at all costs.

  3. Hope. It’s 3 days after the onset of vomiting and there’s a chance, just a chance, that I may avoid it.

  4. Denial. My skin feels achey. I’m super lethargic at work all of a sudden. I can barely keep my eyes open. But this can’t be the stomach bug, it’s just me being tired from a long work week. It’s all in my head!

  5. Acceptance. I feel like pure death. There is nothing and no one that can help me as I slowly descend into the pain and suffering that the next day will bring.


Oh, man. Sorry to hear that. Good luck.


It’s alright, I didn’t eat much of anything due to lack of appetite today, and I know from experience that if you get hit with the sickness on a full stomach, you’re puking allllllllllllll night.


I sniffed an ozone generator and now my nose feels weird


I bought ammonia for my upcoming meet and couldn’t resist the temptation to shake it and shove it under my wife’s nose while saying, hey, smell this.

Why she sticks around I sometimes don’t know.


I watched Blazing Saddles yesterday and I didn’t laugh once. Not one single time.


I don’t even know you anymore.


Lol I think I just can’t get Mel Brook’s humor. I can remember exactly when I laughed during Spaceballs because I only laughed twice. That was during the “comb the desert” scene and when the storm troopers caught the extras. Nothing else was funny to me.

Oh, and I laughed a few times during the dancing scene in Men in Tights and then I laughed twice during the movie. The part where Little John lost the fight with Robin and he went, “I can’t swim!” and when King Richard came back at the end and told his brother that all the toilets in the kingdom will be called “Johns” because of him.


This one helps if you’re high.


Jesus, man. Get some help.


Lol seriously, you probably watched these films when you were a kid. Tell me you find these funny now as an adult.



I can say, in my 20s, I’ve watched Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Dracula Dead & Loving It, Spaceballs, Robin Hood Men in Tights, and History of the World Pt 1, and I laughed my ass off at all of them. You don’t have to like them, but Mel Brooks doesn’t make kids movies.


I did this to a buddy of mine at a party and he ran across the basement and vomited. I feel bad now, at the time it was hilarious.


The quoted post and your reply is super-weird without the context of the ammonia purchase.




Do you keep a diary of exact dates, times, and scenes where you have laughed?

I remember the first time I laughed, March 22, 1996. Mom made a funny face, absolute comedy. Then I shit my pants. End Entry.