T Nation

The Family Guy Quote Thread

I’ve decided that i like quotes from family guy so much it deserves its own thread (disagree if you like!) so this is just for random family guy quotes if any of you get bored and have the urge to recite a line :slight_smile:

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin’ on that novel you’re working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you’re working on there? Your big novel you’ve been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time?

Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

Chris (Luke Skywalker): Well, I guess I’ll go bullseye some womp rats in my T-16.

Quagmire (C-3PO): My God! You shoot small animals for fun? That’s the first indicator of a serial killer, you freak!

Chris (Luke Skywalker): There’s two suns and no women. What the hell am I supposed to do?

joe: hey peter, bonnie and i are aboutto watch greys anatomy, why dont you come in and join us?

peter: geez joe, that…that just sounds awful

Sphincter.

[quote]Makavali wrote:
Sphincter.[/quote]

are you gonna get really anal about this?

“Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.”

“Holy crip, he’s a crapple!”

[quote]hypnotoad wrote:
Makavali wrote:
Sphincter.

are you gonna get really anal about this?[/quote]

I should sue for that comment. I’ll make you pay out the ass. No ifs, ands or butts.

“The Clitoris : Nature’s Rubik’s Cube”

“ju ju ju ju just like the bad guy
in lethal weapon 2
I’ve got diplomatic immunity
so hammer you can’t sue
Can’t touch me”

Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It’s a commercial Lois, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner.

Quagmire - " You’re 15? You’re 16? Your first!!

peter: boys are only interested in sticking there things in evrything…and i dont want meg to end up like my nerf football in the hall closet…

don’t know if you want video quotes or not…

http://www.youtube.com/v/_AJ0SkbPxAk&hl=en&fs=1

Lois Griffin: You like eating red carpet, tough guy?!
Peter Griffin [in pain]: YES!
Lois Griffin (off-screen): Say you like eating red carpet!
Peter Griffin (off-screen): I LIKE EATING RED CARPET!

[quote]mahwah wrote:
Lois Griffin: You like eating red carpet, tough guy?!
Peter Griffin [in pain]: YES!
Lois Griffin (off-screen): Say you like eating red carpet!
Peter Griffin (off-screen): I LIKE EATING RED CARPET![/quote]

(collapses)

Giggity.

“Attention, K-mart shoppers…testicles. That is all.”

Schoolhouse Rock group in Chris’s High School Sex Ed Class

“Vagina Junction, what’s your function?”

“Takin’ in sperm, and spit’n out babies.”

Stewie (Darth Vader) responding to a ‘foul stench’ comment: “Umm, actually that was me. I made a Darth Doody.”