T Nation

The Expendables Review


#1

I saw the movie. Pure Ass Kickage. Watch it. Now.

I only wish JCVD was in it.

I'd say more, but I'm tired. And what else should I have to say. Watch this movie.

Have you caught the ghey? Go see the movie. Now! Put down your man purse. Throw away your True Blood movie collection. Erase True Blood from your DVR list. Stop watching re-runs of Glee.

Get up, go to the theaters, pull out your plain black/brown wallet, pay cash(or debit), and watch this movie. Take back what Hollywood has taken from you.


#2

Fuck you man!!! Fuck you all!!! I have to wait until it comes out on DVD!!! I hate you all with murderous passion! Thanks for the review.


#3

Exact same review you gave for Sisterhood of the traveling pants. What gives?


#4

MOFO,... I'm predicting this movie is number 3 behind Scott Pilgram and that Julia movie. But they will get my Loot. Like I stated before they may even get it twice. This is a swan song.

I feel like I'm watching Bogart last Gangster flick or John Waynes last Cowboy Movie. Or even Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson last Bare Knuckle Fight movie.

So Wol's you lucky first showing Mutha-Fucker me and about 4 other people will be walking up to the booth laying the loot on the table and politely asking for our Tickets so we can see a Whole bunch of SH*T GET F*CKED UP!


#5

I will be seeing it this weekend. One question though - are there any tits in it?


#6

Man thats what Machette is for! ANOTHER ONE I CAN'T WAIT FOR.


#7

As movies go, its heavy on the action, not much on the plot.

Its like the action movie of days done by with over the top fire power, merciless minion murdering and not much.

If that's all it takes to make for great entertainment for you though, its a bloody good movie.

Saddly, I expect more.


#8

Thanks Wol plan to go this weekend. And by the way the your new avatar if Fucking hilarious.


#9

can't believe JCVD turned down a role. What, is he makin too much money doing nothing...

I don't go to the movies much any more, paying $13/ticket is crazy talk, but this will is theater worthy


#10

Damn you and your early releases.


#11

Like I wrote in another thread, based on the number of screens Expendables is showing on (2) versus the other two movies (1 each) at my local mega-plex, I expect The Expendables to top the box office for the weekend. If it doesn't it will be a huge let-down.


#12

^Why is it Sad that you want more? Did you have Expectations of more? Like a Plot, a well written story? There are other movies out there to satisfy your taste.

It cracks me up when someone acts like they are upset that a Sly Stallone movie was a Sly Stallone movie.

Steak House, it was Ok all they had was Juicy Steak. Its ok if you like that sort of thing but saddly, I expected Fish.


#13

You brainiacs already had Inception for the exceptional plot/mindfuck. This one is for the meatheads. Usually we get bupkis in terms of movies geared toward us, so can't you just be happy for us for once? Fucking film majors...


#14

^ This, how can you expect more after watching the trailer. Really. Damn. Fuck. Remove your ovaries to the outside.


#15

Exactly what I was trying to say, only you said it more funnierly.


#16

YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH! I'm SO there, son! Tomorrow NIGHT!


#17

^what HE JUST SAID!!!!


#18

Sadly, I expect proper punctuation, spelling and use of words if you are going to attempt to come off as superior to everyone else. Enjoy Eat, Pray, Love or whatever that testosterone sapping estrogen injecting Julia Roberts flick is called. You have definitely caught the ghey.


#19

I can appreciate both types of movies, thank you. :stuck_out_tongue:


#20

AHAHAHAH, if Stallon has me talking about a spinning top as I did for 2 weeks after inception (great flick) I will be suprised.

I have one 2 expectations.
1. People will laugh
2. Many Minons will Die and things will go Boom.