T Nation

The Evolution of Masturbation

Do you remember when all one needed was an uncalloused hand to get off? However, that soon became boring and those breast cream ads in the back of Cosmo seemed so erotic. And what about Victoria’s Secret? Laeticia Casta looked damn sultry in her lingerie.

Of course, the world of online porn opened new doors for every red-blooded American male. But Jenny McCarthy’s Playboy spreads weren’t enough, were they? Nudity became passe. Soon, one needed lesbians, office sex, and orgies to satisfy himself. Yes, I remember the good old days. How I’d love to be able to pleasure myself without running a tab at “Amazing Video” or waiting for a 30 second clip of Ron Jeremy fucking Wendy Whoppers to download. Oh, dear.

Kids today have it to easy. When I was young he says in a old fogie lecturing tone, we had to walk uphill both ways through the snow to get 1 yearly swimsuit issue. And we were glad to have it!

I remember finding rain-soaked, sun-faded, ancient copies of Playboy in the woods when I was 8 years old. Back then, the best you could hope for was a side shot of a girl wearing panties and no bra, but do you think we complained? Nowadays, I see more skin on a soap commercial, but I don’t even stop flipping the channels to watch.

Nothing short of 3 handicapped Russian midget lesbians and a horse seems to do it for me anymore.

I can recall being so desperate for source material at one point in my life that I turned to the Sunday comics. It was either Dagwood’s wife or the Secretary in Beatle Bailey.

My theory is that is all relates to wish fulfillment. For the 12 year old who finds his dad’s playboys, he’s probally never touched a breast in his life, so pics of breasts are thrilling. Once the male matures, and has touched / is getting some, his demands increase to actual pics or movies of sex. Our subject grows, has missonary sex a few times, and wants to watch doggie style. By the time a man has fucked a woman from behind, in the ass and blew his load on her face, he wishes he was a lesbian.

It must really suck to be a guy when it comes to this stuff. If I need visual stim, I can just look in the mirror. :wink: More often than not though, it’s just a matter of closing my eyes and visualizing what I want done. No need for elaborate fantasies, just picture the deed. Doesn’t that work for you guys?

SPBM, every time I think I’ve heard it all, someone comes along and knocks me over. I choked on my brocolli reading your post.

Karma-just reading your post did it for me.

It doesn’t work for me, ~karma~. I find a fantasy played out in my head to be, well, boring.

How often does everyone masterbate?

No Karma, us guys tend to be visual.
I remember one time when a friend and found three pristine playboys on top of some ash cans waiting for the garbage man. What a find! We went on some super secret mission impossible ninja thing to get them in his house. the anticipation killed us until nighttime when we could sneak them into his house.
Now I’m to lazy to get up and put porn on.
I agree that CPBM is the man.

On average, once a day. During spring and summer months, maybe twice. As soon as I start to chafe, I know I must engage in other activities. It’s like overtraining. One must always be sure to pay attention to the warning signs associated with too much hand-to-cock contact:

Decreased ejaculate
Inability to perform normal daily functions

CMC, you truly are a masturbation expert. That’s some funny stuff.

Hey CMC,

What about a burning sensation when peeing?


Dude, that too! How could I forget?

I have to be really horny to only “fantasize” and masturbate. Otherwise, I need some visual stimulation. Show me some pussy, and I’m good to go. I don’t need the hardcore porn like my friends. Just a naked pic of a hot chick showing it all.

As for masturbation, I may masturbate 1-7 times a week depending on how much sex I’m having (more sex = less masturbation), how horny I am, how much free time I have on my hands (no pun intended!) or how much stress is in my life.

CMC: I think I said that I didn’t do the elaborate fantasy thing… That would be boring. And yes, I’m with you. Once or twice a day is pretty much the average.

Irondoc: Again, I think I said that I’m a very visual person as well. When I’m in the mood for that, I either prop myself up on the bed a bit (have 3’x4’ mirror on the opposite wall) or move to the floor (have 2.5’x8’ mirror there) and watch myself. Or there’s always watching homemade movies… Yup, I’d say I’m fairly visual. That may explain my magazine subscriptions, too. However, I don’t require visual stim to enjoy myself. That may be the difference between me and ya’ll.

I use purely my imagination 80% of the time. The other 20% is the pic of MBE and Shugart. Just kidding about that, but I rarely use visual stimulation, though I can still enjoy visual stimulation. I’ve just found my imagination to be a little more powerful (and deviant) than most pornography. And if there is visual stimulation, it is just that, as I take an image or scene and run with it.

It’s weird. Whenever I sit down @ the computer, I decide that I’m only going to be a few minutes, but before I know it 3hrs have gone by. Time flies when you’re having fun I guess…

Ok, lemme ask you all this… How has your masturbation frequency changed as you’ve gotten older? When I was a teenager, I used to polish the cane, stroke the one-eyed snake, wrestle the salami, unsheath the pork sword, drive the pigskin bus, yank my franklin, anywhere from 1-3 times per day. Currently being in my early thirties, I now find I’m playing a tune on the ol’ meat whistle, shaking hands with the unemployed, playing with the baloney pony, talking to the Bishop, maybe twice per week.