The Effect of Your Physique on Others

<---------------------------------- currently has a boner

They usually run away from me when I start throwing holy water at them.

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
Was my question really this ridiculous or do some people need to GAL?

Anyway thanks Hydra and Jereth for the replies. If anyone else (well built & sane) wants to chime in, welcome.[/quote]
Buddy, you’re lucky you even got one or two serious responses with a silly question like this.

This is the second or third question posted by relative newbies where the OP comes in later upset at the responses.

ethiopians look at me like a good meal. nah but seriously when I got bigger people assumed I was more violent as well. “bro do you kill people” “yo how many guys have you fucked up” they equate size with the fact that you have to use it on others…no idea why. COuld be an insecurity and immaturity thing. It’s funny iI actually heard his tonight (at a bar though lol) “If i was as big as you I’d fuck so many people up” lol unbelievable

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
Hey guys!

Lately I have been wondering about something. For the guys that are build pretty well, think Nate Green and bigger…how does having a physique like that affect other people?

Do you notice a distinct difference how people interact with you compared to your smaller self? And if so is it negative or positive? When you go to bars, are you welcomed with respect or with hostility? (Look another muscled poser or something!)

And how is it with women? Do they act different around you? A lot of questions, but it is still a long way to go for me, but I am very interested. Thanks in advance![/quote]

I get more positive attention from females. With dudes, it’s 50/50. Half will hate me to hell, half will respect me a lot more. I rarely find a middle ground there. You stand out way more. You can be in a crowded room, say nothing and guarantee you people will still pay a lot of attention to you. I guess you develop more presence.

One cool thing is, people will remember me more readily than others. Like when I go for job interviews, meet new people, etc.

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
Was my question really this ridiculous or do some people need to GAL?

Anyway thanks Hydra and Jereth for the replies. If anyone else (well built & sane) wants to chime in, welcome.[/quote]
Buddy, you’re lucky you even got one or two serious responses with a silly question like this.

This is the second or third question posted by relative newbies where the OP comes in later upset at the responses.[/quote]

Please point out to me what is silly about my question?

To the serious replies: Thanks! Looks like the grass is a lot greener on the other side…this makes me even more motivated to bust my ass in the gym!

[quote]silverhydra wrote:

women flirt with me more and guys seem to view me as a dichotomy (either hating me with a passion or respecting me).

[/quote]

I think this summarizes it perfectly. The only thing I would add is that the people with respect also seek advice and tips, starting with the typical “how do you do it?!” questions.

Dudes afford you an extra veeneer of respect (though, to my mind it’s a rather superficial brand of respect, more like fear masquerading as respect tbh, lol).

As for women, some women will melt all over you faster than a dollop of butter on a radiator, though, many will actually find you a bit ‘too big’ OR not ‘as sexy’ as a more compact, ripped, pretty(er) kinda dude.

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
Was my question really this ridiculous or do some people need to GAL?

Anyway thanks Hydra and Jereth for the replies. If anyone else (well built & sane) wants to chime in, welcome.[/quote]
Buddy, you’re lucky you even got one or two serious responses with a silly question like this.

This is the second or third question posted by relative newbies where the OP comes in later upset at the responses.[/quote]

It’s actually not a bad question. It’s a real issue and when you’re trapped in your own body, you just don’t have the same awareness of yourself as others do. This is very important for social interactions. I have a buddy that’s a big dude that is in a position of authority at his occupation. He had the typical run-in with lazy ass at work, going thru the HR process and such and, in addition to those steps normally taken for lazy ass workers, he got to hear about how intimidating his appearance is and how he needed to soften his appearance. He has some tats on his arms, his head was shaved and he’s a big boy, but a helluva nice guy.

Fast forward a few months. We meet for lunch. He walks in, I barely recognize him. He’s grown his fucking hair - no more shaved head. I’m like WTF dude? And he relates again the HR horseshit.

People see you and make a quick judgment. And that initial judgment is sometimes hard to shake. I’ve heard it for years about my size and I’m still baffled by it. Absolutely baffled.

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
Was my question really this ridiculous or do some people need to GAL?

Anyway thanks Hydra and Jereth for the replies. If anyone else (well built & sane) wants to chime in, welcome.[/quote]
Buddy, you’re lucky you even got one or two serious responses with a silly question like this.

This is the second or third question posted by relative newbies where the OP comes in later upset at the responses.[/quote]

Please point out to me what is silly about my question?

To the serious replies: Thanks! Looks like the grass is a lot greener on the other side…this makes me even more motivated to bust my ass in the gym![/quote]

It’s NOT greener. People WILL judge you by your appearance and not everyone has a positive impression of an extremely large or muscular person. You might say well fuck them. And that’s fine. But remember, you must navigate this world and most people work for someone else. And in your quest to get big, I suggest you consider the following:

http://www.T-Nation.com/article-comments/the_testosterone_principles_most_bodybuilders_look_like_crap

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
Was my question really this ridiculous or do some people need to GAL?

Anyway thanks Hydra and Jereth for the replies. If anyone else (well built & sane) wants to chime in, welcome.[/quote]
Buddy, you’re lucky you even got one or two serious responses with a silly question like this.

This is the second or third question posted by relative newbies where the OP comes in later upset at the responses.[/quote]

Please point out to me what is silly about my question?

To the serious replies: Thanks! Looks like the grass is a lot greener on the other side…this makes me even more motivated to bust my ass in the gym![/quote]

It’s NOT greener. People WILL judge you by your appearance and not everyone has a positive impression of an extremely large or muscular person. You might say well fuck them. And that’s fine. But remember, you must navigate this world and most people work for someone else. And in your quest to get big, I suggest you consider the following:

http://www.T-Nation.com/article-comments/the_testosterone_principles_most_bodybuilders_look_like_crap
[/quote]

Or he could try thinking for himself.

I agree, there are people who will judge you poorly based on having big muscles. That is just life and has more to do with misconceptions, stereotypes and jealousy than anything else.

The same happens if you become famous or have the baddest looking girl on your arm or drive the nicest car.

It is up to you if you allow the judgment of others to control how you choose to present yourself.

I personally don’t like being controlled…and my body can’t hold me back if my mind is ahead of most.

My nephew looks at me like a superhero, and despite being raised by a family with some pretty terrible habits has quite a work ethic towards his sports/fitness; I’d like to think I had a little impact on that.

i have an advantage with my view point. given the fact i have been both really small and skinny and now big. when i graduated high school, i was 134lbs. at 5’7. I was bullied throughout my entire schooling. started mainly in junior high. never really beat up badly or anything just pushed around and punched and just general bullying. people were always looking to start shit with you. always. If i went to a club, id always have some dude trying to start with me.

Now to the present. because of how i grew up, i admit, i have a major chip on my shoulder. needless to say, nobody has even looked at me wrong, nevermind said or dared to do anything. you can be big and strong, yet be the biggest pussy in fighting. luckily, when i was skinny and small, i was into karate and not to long after started kick boxing. to my present years im much more into MMA. I was doing submission wrestling up till i tore my tricep tendon doing incline presses. but back to the point of how im treated now, I honestly can’t remember the last time anyone has ever started with me, and that includes being a bouncer for 2 years in boston.

unfortunately, while i always believed that once i got really big, girls would chew off their own to be with me, that simply hasn’t happened. not sure if its the trend nowadays to like the justin beiber type. or the mainstream medias portrayal of bodybuilders or guys who lift as steroid using, female abusing and just one big violent asshole. whatever the reason, girls seem to stare clear of me. they are like water and im oil, we just don’t mix. of course im exaggerating a bit, i have had my share of women, been married for 6 years. but overall its not what I imagined it would be like. i thought id have women on me like Johnny Depp. I just think its the times and the stereo type given to guys who lift seriously.

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
To the serious replies: Thanks! Looks like the grass is a lot greener on the other side…this makes me even more motivated to bust my ass in the gym![/quote]

Depends on how you approach it. When you’ve been to the other end of the spectrum, it can be difficult to break old habits. If you remember your self-worth and let that flow from you, the grass will be greener.

You have to remember others will sense your presence. If you feel like a bitch, then people will sense that you are a bitch.

That was always a bit of a struggle for me initially, but now I couldn’t give two shits about someone elses negativity towards me. They don’t know shit about me. So naturally their opinions are worthless. If they have an issue and want to be animated about it, I have no problem calling them out. I act on my beliefs, not on the beliefs of others.

Gotta say, I wouldn’t take ANYTHING back if I could. So definitely, with time, the grass is much greener.

I was a bigger kid (6’4", 200lbs before HS grad) so I am generally not really aware of my size. I’m not overly big now (225 11% bf), however I am big enough (particularly given my height) that my size effects my social interactions. Apparently I also have a “serious” face and bearing sometimes, so that probably plays in as well. People are generally less inclined to fuck with you yes, however they are also less inclined to talk to you. It is generally more difficult to fit into people’s social interactions if you are obviously, visibly different from them. You will tend to make them uneasy, that’s just human nature. The more pronounced the difference the greater the unease. More nervous/sensitive people will often be actively intimidated. You will absolutely tend to stand out in a crowd, but not always in the way you might hope or expect.

I have learned over time to do things like stand slightly further away from people when conversing, modulate my speaking volume and tone, smile a lot, and avoid prolonged, direct eye contact in the course of normal, friendly social contact. I find this goes a long way to “softening” my presence and making others more comfortable. Of course sometimes it’s desirable to make people uncomfortable, but mostly not so much. This is no reason not to train if you’re into it and it takes a lot of time and hard work to build the type of size that people will really notice anyway, so lift away.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]WhiteCrow wrote:
Was my question really this ridiculous or do some people need to GAL?

Anyway thanks Hydra and Jereth for the replies. If anyone else (well built & sane) wants to chime in, welcome.[/quote]
Buddy, you’re lucky you even got one or two serious responses with a silly question like this.

This is the second or third question posted by relative newbies where the OP comes in later upset at the responses.[/quote]

Please point out to me what is silly about my question?

To the serious replies: Thanks! Looks like the grass is a lot greener on the other side…this makes me even more motivated to bust my ass in the gym![/quote]

It’s NOT greener. People WILL judge you by your appearance and not everyone has a positive impression of an extremely large or muscular person. You might say well fuck them. And that’s fine. But remember, you must navigate this world and most people work for someone else. And in your quest to get big, I suggest you consider the following:

http://www.T-Nation.com/article-comments/the_testosterone_principles_most_bodybuilders_look_like_crap
[/quote]

Or he could try thinking for himself.

I agree, there are people who will judge you poorly based on having big muscles. That is just life and has more to do with misconceptions, stereotypes and jealousy than anything else.

The same happens if you become famous or have the baddest looking girl on your arm or drive the nicest car.

It is up to you if you allow the judgment of others to control how you choose to present yourself.

I personally don’t like being controlled…and my body can’t hold me back if my mind is ahead of most.[/quote]

I don’t disagree with the above but it’s not my point. Most people here are or will be working in an environment where they work for someone else. In the corporate environment in particular, people’s perception and “judgment” of you matters very much. Whether we like it or not, being the huge muscular guy is not perceived well. It’s a big handicap that you have to overcome and frankly, I don’t think most are capable of overcoming it considering the average person is “just average”. You’d have to be engaging, charismatic and very competent to begin overcoming a negative perception like that.

This is not a rant against getting hyooge. It’s just a cautionary sticker. It’s reality.

[quote]roguevampire wrote:
unfortunately, while i always believed that once i got really big, girls would chew off their own to be with me, that simply hasn’t happened. not sure if its the trend nowadays to like the justin beiber type. or the mainstream medias portrayal of bodybuilders or guys who lift as steroid using, female abusing and just one big violent asshole. whatever the reason, girls seem to stare clear of me. they are like water and im oil, we just don’t mix. of course im exaggerating a bit, i have had my share of women, been married for 6 years. but overall its not what I imagined it would be like. i thought id have women on me like Johnny Depp. I just think its the times and the stereo type given to guys who lift seriously. [/quote]

Some women prefer bigger guys, some don’t, they are not a homogenous group. Saying that, the most female attention I got was when I was a ripped 200.I wasn’t muscular by any means, but i do have a large frame no matter how low my body fat is. Fast forward a few years and I’m around 250 and not so ripped but a lot more muscular. Female attention is undoubtedly lower even though I am noticeably bigger. Do I mind? Well of course I mind, as female attention is great for the ego, but at the same time I didn’t consciously make a decision to get stronger so that I could get laid more.
When i achieve my strength goals, and diet down to a level that I feel I can maintain with some ease, it will be interesting to see how the level of female attention changes (if indeed it does at all). Either way I won’t lose sleep over it.

[quote]krebcycle wrote:

[quote]roguevampire wrote:
unfortunately, while i always believed that once i got really big, girls would chew off their own to be with me, that simply hasn’t happened. not sure if its the trend nowadays to like the justin beiber type. or the mainstream medias portrayal of bodybuilders or guys who lift as steroid using, female abusing and just one big violent asshole. whatever the reason, girls seem to stare clear of me. they are like water and im oil, we just don’t mix. of course im exaggerating a bit, i have had my share of women, been married for 6 years. but overall its not what I imagined it would be like. i thought id have women on me like Johnny Depp. I just think its the times and the stereo type given to guys who lift seriously. [/quote]

Some women prefer bigger guys, some don’t, they are not a homogenous group. Saying that, the most female attention I got was when I was a ripped 200.I wasn’t muscular by any means, but i do have a large frame no matter how low my body fat is. Fast forward a few years and I’m around 250 and not so ripped but a lot more muscular. Female attention is undoubtedly lower even though I am noticeably bigger. Do I mind? Well of course I mind, as female attention is great for the ego, but at the same time I didn’t consciously make a decision to get stronger so that I could get laid more.
When i achieve my strength goals, and diet down to a level that I feel I can maintain with some ease, it will be interesting to see how the level of female attention changes (if indeed it does at all). Either way I won’t lose sleep over it.
[/quote]

It’s about body shape, not your weight. Dropping weight in the last month has increased the attention I get drastically and it isn’t like I got small.

I will say that very average looking women may be turned off but that is because you make them self conscious about themselves.

Most women are not turning down a guy who is well groomed, carries himself well and has big muscles who also looks good.

It isn’t like they accept ugly just because of your biceps.

[quote]batman730 wrote:
I was a bigger kid (6’4", 200lbs before HS grad) so I am generally not really aware of my size. I’m not overly big now (225 11% bf), however I am big enough (particularly given my height) that my size effects my social interactions. Apparently I also have a “serious” face and bearing sometimes, so that probably plays in as well. People are generally less inclined to fuck with you yes, however they are also less inclined to talk to you. It is generally more difficult to fit into people’s social interactions if you are obviously, visibly different from them.

It’s funny, I have a similar ‘issue’ as you. People that don’t know me assume I am moody, and unapproachable because of how I look. Their initial perception of me couldn’t be further from the truth, as friends always tell me how laid back and good humoured i am, however I really have to make more effort then the average person in social situations, for people to see the real me. People will tend to be stand offish and have formed a strong opinion of me even before I have opened my mouth. It is actually quite fun to see how they react when they see that their assertion was incorrect!
Goes for women as well. Any woman I date or what not, always mention that their first impression of me was that I looked unhappy and angry. I’m quite the opposite, I just don’t have a good smile!