T Nation

The Devil & Dick Cheney


Cheney calls war critics 'opportunists'
By Douglas Herman

Wish I made a fraction of what the war pimps make. You know the ones--Krauthammer, Coulter, Boot, Safire, Limbaugh, Will, O'Reilly, Hannity, Ledeen - those media guys doing the well-paid work of Dick Cheney and doing it well...while earning big paychecks along with Dick and his gang.

Wish I made a fraction of the fine income those propagandists made. You know the ones, those media folks on Op-Ed pages and TV news programs everywhere, who never fought a single battle but make a plush living pimping for war. Wish I could do that and not see the devil smirking at me in the mirror.

Wish I made a pittance of what those well-connected contractors in Iraq make, and continue to make. You know the ones: The Bush/Cheney 'No-bid' contractors like Halliburton, Exxon-Mobil, and the Carlyle Group. Good old boys, lifelong pals of Dick Cheney, a guy who called war critics like me "opportunists."

Yeah, I wish I, too, made a dime for every dollar stolen from the taxpayer. Wish I could sleep nights, like the Neocons, knowing a whole bunch of people in Iraq got their country stolen, while a bunch more Americans in uniform were serving as jailers overseas.

Wish I could amass billions for my friends, as Dick has done, while thousands of dirt poor Americans in uniform did the dirty work of guarding millions of folks even poorer than them. What a great job that would be - if only I could sleep at night.

Wish I owned the news media, the handful of big publishers and TV networks and those thousands of radio stations from sea to shining sea. Wouldn't that be grand! Whenever someone dared criticize me, I'd simply get all my guard dogs in the media to write their columns and immediately fill TV and talk radio airwaves to shout my critics down. I'd sic Hannity and Savage on 'em! I'd get Malkin and Coulter to question their manhood.

Wish I had the opportunity of an Ivy League education. I'd use that opportunity to befriend guys exactly like me. We'd plot ways to take power, and not waste our time on useless information or education or knowledge. Because, when you think about it, Power Is Knowledge. Power educates. Power informs.

And the Opportunity to amass that power is reserved for people like me, if I were Dick Cheney that is, with all my Ivy League and Pentagon and corporate connections.

Wish I, too, had all the bureaucracies at my beck and call. FBI, CIA, Pentagon, NORAD, NTSB, NYPD - all the acronyms of a powerful state government. I'd plot my plots; I'd plan my plans. I'd make all the acronyms do my bidding, for me and my well-connected friends.

Wish I controlled the weather. I'd spray the whole country from five miles up. Why? Because I could. But I wouldn't tell anyone. Why should they know? I'd own the skies. Because once you own the skies you own whatever is under it.

Wish I lived forever. I'd extend my power over the whole world, without apology, for me and my cronies. We would reshape the world in MY image of what the world should be.

Wish I made a sweet deal with the devil. What an opportunity for me. The only reason I couldn't...is because I'm not Dick Cheney.


Thanks for dumbing down the forum jlesk.

Keep up the good work!


How exactly did he do that, please?



You've gotta love the neolibs.


AAAAAWWW, sounds like another angry liberal.


Angry? Nice try!

It was pretty funny and tongue in cheek if you weren't offended by it like a cheerleader would be.

Don't be saying democrats don't have a sense of humor too quickly next time a satirical piece gets replies like your own...


Neolib? what the fuck is that. I guess people are following Bush's lead and inventing words. If you meant neo liberal then you are not to smart.


All I was really doing was showing how it applies to both sides, much like you do with most of your posts. The bottom line is that the left is so out of tune with what THIS country wants that they can not win. Here is a prime example: My wife, a teacher, gets the NEA(highy liberal publication) for the month of October. Now anyone with half of a brain knows October is national breast cancer awareness month. What does the NEA list October as? National gay and lesbian awareness month. Now what the fuck is that? That is just a small example as to how out of touch liberal publications are.


How come you are so angry snipe? Do you have closet homosexual tendencies or something? Not that there is anything wrong with that!


No, I actually get angry at how the left preaches tolerance as long as it isn't chrisitian based. We must tolerate gays, muslim extremists, illegal immigrants and canadians :wink: Yet they cry about "one nation under god" in the Pledge of Allegiance.


Tolerating muslim extremists, eh?
You mean we think the geneva convention
should be upheld by a stable, democratic
nation, and torture is against international law for a reason? Or were you thinking of some other vague generality?
Yeah, nice one.


There are very few real liberals. Too often it's used as a dirty word by ultra-conservatives to swear people who don't agree with their every belief and political stance.


Who cares given that NEA is not something most people have probably heard of? It's hardly something most Democrat voters or politicians would pay any attention to.


-Wow, is this what you really think? Can you even see that the Christianity you're describing isn't tolerant of anything. The Christianity you're describing isn't too far a cry from the Muslim fundamentalists you abhor. The Christianity you're describing isn't very Christian at all.

-Where did you ever get the idea that anyone wants to tolerate Muslim extremists? Has anybody said it, or are you just creating your own unique vision of the "other side"?

-As far as gays are concerned, since you don't want to tolerate them, what's your solution?

-Illegal immigrants have alreay been discussed ad nauseum, so I won't bring that up again, except to say that, once again, nobody is really calling for tolerance of the situation, just a different solution than the one proposed currently.

-Do you also realize the difference between tolerance and forced action? By forcing every school child to recite "one nation under God", you're forcing them towards Christianity, or some other God based religion. That's not America anymore. Many are here who do not believe in God, and it's their right not to.
What if the warden, or whoever runs your jail, was a Native American and he said that, even though he realizes you're a Christian, every day each CO would have make an offering to some other God, what would you do? Quit, sue, make the offering?


Satan = Dick
Satan's Son ( anti Christ ) = Gerge dubya bush

whore of babylon that has sex w/ the antichrist = bush's wife

his real name ? 666

ok these aren't very intelligent but funny somehow , fahd should be amused


Definitive proof he sold his soul to the devil - and why they call him "Dick" (Not the reason most people thought)


From an outsider lookin in, I see alot of angst among the posts directed towards Bush & Cheney. Is your nation discontented or am I just reading the majority of the anti-bush posts?

Do share. I can be converted.


It is a mixed bag. I think there are a lot of people disenchanted with them right now, but it does not rise to the level of this zealous hatred or suspicion except for a fringe outfit.

Discontent? That might be the right word. But discontent means that you probably wouldn't vote for them or vote for them again rather than you think they are part of an international Zionist conspiracy deserving of a firing squad.

But, just in case you don't know, posts by Jlesk and JustTheFacts are never serious - don't think that whatever they post is indicative of how ordinary Americans - liberal or conservative - feel about Bush and Cheney.

Those two have accomplished 'subtraction by addition' - we get further and further from reality the more posts they add.


I think 'thunder' is referring to the reality where the Iraqis' erected a statue of Bush in the square of Baghdad, Bin Laden is safely behind bars, and there hasn't been a GOP scandal for the past two days.

At least some of us have kept our dignity.


Snipe, nice, I had to laugh at the Canadian reference!

I don't know who is pushing the brand of tolerance you mention, but I really suspect nobody is pushing for tolerance of muslim extremists.

I think that is a twist done by those that generate republican talking points in order to make tolerance out to be something it isn't, to make it a bad thing.