Beta male orbiter.
Didnât we already establish the narcissistic theme of âinfluencersâ?
On the flip side: if you canât love yourself, why should anyone else? I know (and Iâm sure you do too) guys that are motivated almost entirely by self loathing and anger. Hell Iâm one of them, itâs effective⊠if not exactly healthy.
Eh? I donât see the problem with that. Thatâs a slogan I try to live by.
I am learning this! I mean I take care of my family, but itâs okay to take care me me too!
Thereâs a caveat here: âdo whatever the hell you want.â
That wouldnât make a catchy meme. You didnât Say âI do whatever the hell I want.â
You said you loathe yourself, but youâre married. So one doesnât need a high opinion of oneself to be loved.
Me, I simply recognize positive characteristics about myself. I canât say I love or hate myself. In the past I suffered from depression and suicidal ideation, but that was up until ten years ago, when it stopped.
Hell yeah, I wouldnât have nearly killed myself establishing a career if this wasnât the end goal lol. Whatâs the problem with it?
In that context, nothing, considering that desire is benign, although most careers donât require near death.
It was a figure of speechâŠ
It depends on who hears it and what they do with it. Iâve seen people use positive coping tools to do rotten things and become worse people, and know some really good people that are driven by very bad feelings about themselves.
Itâs like the Dunning-Kruger effect applied to self image and behavior.
In the stuff I do, a friend of mine once said âSome people come in and get better. Others just get better at being sick.â.
While technically correct, my negative traits definitely make me less lovable. It drives the wife batty when Iâm salty and negative and ruins her mood as well. Our lives together are better when weâre both positive. If I gave into my negative tendencies more often she would (and should) leave me.
You cared enough about yourself to not punch your own ticket. Then you focused on healing and getting better. Thatâs âself loveâ by the book. Good job btw.
Thank you!
I look at this, unchecked and mistaken for self love or self care as a bad thing-
At work, I used to go around saying mildly stupid shit and then note how people responded. It gave me great data on who to talk with and who i could ignore.
I assume stuff like the above is written by bots who then collect data about the people who share, like and comment on it. Basically doing the same thing I was on a global scale for the purpose of enslaving us.
Hopping in a little late here, but off we go!
IMO that is not what is being pushed by those people you are talking about. As a multiple business owner and entrepreneur, I can say that I am a full believer beyond doubt in all aspects of constantly self improving and evaluating yourself. I believe what the focus is, is that regardless of trials, tribulations, discomfort and inconvenience, do whatever it takes to accomplish your goals.
âThink and Grow Richâ is a staple in the entrepreneurial catalog. When I first read it, I thought, how can someone grow rich by thinking about it? Truly, success always, every time, starts with the mind and your thoughts. If you want something bad enough, have a burning desire and are willing to do absolutely whatever you need to achieve success, anything is possible.
This takes relentless persistence, and a shift in mindset some people simply are not capable of. To me, when someone says, âyou move too fastâ or âwhy are you so obsessed with this or that,â I take it as a sign of them trying to justify their own weaknesses. âYou move too fastâ means they canât imagine moving at my speed. âYouâre too obsessed with your nutritionâ means they canât justify their own poor choices, so they project that on to others.
Letâs be real - being healthier, having enough money to live, enjoying your quality of life - anyone who doesnât want those things is lying. And there are many out there that are simply content with their life, itâs not their fantasy or dream life, but hey theyâre not starving, so, be grateful for it. If thatâs how those folks want to live, then more power to them and I do not judge. But I will not surround myself with those people.
x2. I own two business and am about to start a third, none of which I have a college degree in, but through education, reading, and lots of time, have become successful in my endeavors. Most people do not spend $1 on their education after college. Literally. Less than 50% of people read more than 1 book a year, and many of them are fiction and romance. With todayâs technology and information, anything can be learned.
Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, what you do with it is up to you. That being said, as you mentioned earlier the âmorning ritualâ, I developed one and am hooked, because maintaining consistency in a schedule is the only way to maximize and control time. Literally every minute of my day is accounted for and on a schedule, and I love it. I wouldnât be able to manage everything without it.
This I can agree with, some folks care more about spouting their success and showcasing themselves as a âguruâ and Iâm not a fan. But, to be âalways onâ in a way that is productive for your own life and success, without preaching from a soap-box, should absolutely be admired, itâs not easy.
Anyway, bunch of random thoughts here, but glad this thread is here! People that post on social media in front of their sports cars and airplanes and make it seem like thereâs no stress in their day and itâs so easy to do, thatâs garbage and who knows if itâs even real. But, the principles of hard work, consistency, determination, and belief, are something many people lack and are quick to criticize those who have achieved levels of success they do not view as feasible for themselves.
All of what you say is true and commendable but youâre not the type of guy I was talking about. Iâm actually on a timeline myself for much of the day. Though I do have my goof-off breaks, posting on T-mag for example, I really donât have much free time and my job is busy. On lifting days, I arrive at the gym between 4 and 5 AM, and 7 and 8 AM on Sundays. As you know I have one kid with a large in-law family with my own family being very involved in my sonâs life, another kid on the way, a new home in which there is still stuff to buy and fix or decorate for the seasons. Come to think of it, Iâm on for much of the day.
And as I mentioned, the heavyweights in my social circle I do admire, they simply donât act in the disingenuous, patronizing ways I refer to here. And of the historically important men I admire, such men were likely âonâ for nearly their entire lives. Thereâs a distinction to be made here between narcissists or buffoons and driven men.
This is not the sort of âonâ I am referring to. I believe it takes being right next to one of these âalways-onâ people to see who I refer to. Theyâre turned on with admirable traits on display. Otherwise I wouldâve mentioned such people in a positive light.
I agree with this. But again, thatâs now what I refer to here.
I actually do stick to a morning ritual most days myself. I have found that audio books and podcasts have served me well because I can listen to them while I make my breakfast, eat, and drive my car.
Aside from work I plan on being super-involved with my kids and Im already involved with my son. As I have outright stated or implied, my own father was sinfully negligent to me; so I plan on doing the exact opposite with my son. Looking back on my own life, I had some lost years in my life, and I believe they could have been avoided if it were not for some depressing circumstances that I canât go into here (inb4 âoh, are you blaming someone else?â One can knock that off if they donât someone elseâs situation and history). I plan on being highly involved in the new community I live in, being involved with my childrenâs endeavors, joining the PTA, all that!
Just this past month, with the snow, I was likely out of my house in the backyard with my son ten minutes after I arrived home. Then it was off to doing other stuff for all of the nights.
This is in contrast to the sort of Al Bundy types of fathers I grew up around as a late Gen Xer in the garden apartments of northern Queens, NYC. That stereotypical character didnât come from nowhere, and perhaps such men are the reason younger men of our era donât want to emulate them.
When I think back on such times and men, the most common image that comes to mind are men slumped on the couch with in a pair of Lee Jeans, a T-shirt, and a TV-induced comaâthe sort of men who had their wives preparing dinner and partaking in very little or no activity in the home or family. I suspect this is why there were so many despondent, lost, confused teenagers that grew up around me, and this includes promiscuous young women. No authority of the household, no activity, no vetting of friends or potential mates that came over for their kids!
Of course I have rambled and jumped around a bit. And I donât say the rest to prove, âsee, look at what I do; look at how busy I am too.â I said it to show that I actually do wholeheartedly agree with and admire you and that who I referred to in this thread is another type of personality altogether. For my own good, I donât want to be some mentally, intellectually, and physically regressing man for my own good, but more importantly for my kids. To me, that will be the ultimate failure (not being dramatic).