Beta male orbiter.
Didn’t we already establish the narcissistic theme of “influencers”?
On the flip side: if you can’t love yourself, why should anyone else? I know (and I’m sure you do too) guys that are motivated almost entirely by self loathing and anger. Hell I’m one of them, it’s effective… if not exactly healthy.
Eh? I don’t see the problem with that. That’s a slogan I try to live by.
I am learning this! I mean I take care of my family, but it’s okay to take care me me too!
There’s a caveat here: “do whatever the hell you want.”
That wouldn’t make a catchy meme. You didn’t Say “I do whatever the hell I want.”
You said you loathe yourself, but you’re married. So one doesn’t need a high opinion of oneself to be loved.
Me, I simply recognize positive characteristics about myself. I can’t say I love or hate myself. In the past I suffered from depression and suicidal ideation, but that was up until ten years ago, when it stopped.
Hell yeah, I wouldn’t have nearly killed myself establishing a career if this wasn’t the end goal lol. What’s the problem with it?
In that context, nothing, considering that desire is benign, although most careers don’t require near death.
It was a figure of speech…
It depends on who hears it and what they do with it. I’ve seen people use positive coping tools to do rotten things and become worse people, and know some really good people that are driven by very bad feelings about themselves.
It’s like the Dunning-Kruger effect applied to self image and behavior.
In the stuff I do, a friend of mine once said “Some people come in and get better. Others just get better at being sick.”.
While technically correct, my negative traits definitely make me less lovable. It drives the wife batty when I’m salty and negative and ruins her mood as well. Our lives together are better when we’re both positive. If I gave into my negative tendencies more often she would (and should) leave me.
You cared enough about yourself to not punch your own ticket. Then you focused on healing and getting better. That’s “self love” by the book. Good job btw.
I look at this, unchecked and mistaken for self love or self care as a bad thing-
At work, I used to go around saying mildly stupid shit and then note how people responded. It gave me great data on who to talk with and who i could ignore.
I assume stuff like the above is written by bots who then collect data about the people who share, like and comment on it. Basically doing the same thing I was on a global scale for the purpose of enslaving us.
Hopping in a little late here, but off we go!
IMO that is not what is being pushed by those people you are talking about. As a multiple business owner and entrepreneur, I can say that I am a full believer beyond doubt in all aspects of constantly self improving and evaluating yourself. I believe what the focus is, is that regardless of trials, tribulations, discomfort and inconvenience, do whatever it takes to accomplish your goals.
“Think and Grow Rich” is a staple in the entrepreneurial catalog. When I first read it, I thought, how can someone grow rich by thinking about it? Truly, success always, every time, starts with the mind and your thoughts. If you want something bad enough, have a burning desire and are willing to do absolutely whatever you need to achieve success, anything is possible.
This takes relentless persistence, and a shift in mindset some people simply are not capable of. To me, when someone says, “you move too fast” or “why are you so obsessed with this or that,” I take it as a sign of them trying to justify their own weaknesses. “You move too fast” means they can’t imagine moving at my speed. “You’re too obsessed with your nutrition” means they can’t justify their own poor choices, so they project that on to others.
Let’s be real - being healthier, having enough money to live, enjoying your quality of life - anyone who doesn’t want those things is lying. And there are many out there that are simply content with their life, it’s not their fantasy or dream life, but hey they’re not starving, so, be grateful for it. If that’s how those folks want to live, then more power to them and I do not judge. But I will not surround myself with those people.
x2. I own two business and am about to start a third, none of which I have a college degree in, but through education, reading, and lots of time, have become successful in my endeavors. Most people do not spend $1 on their education after college. Literally. Less than 50% of people read more than 1 book a year, and many of them are fiction and romance. With today’s technology and information, anything can be learned.
Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, what you do with it is up to you. That being said, as you mentioned earlier the “morning ritual”, I developed one and am hooked, because maintaining consistency in a schedule is the only way to maximize and control time. Literally every minute of my day is accounted for and on a schedule, and I love it. I wouldn’t be able to manage everything without it.
This I can agree with, some folks care more about spouting their success and showcasing themselves as a “guru” and I’m not a fan. But, to be “always on” in a way that is productive for your own life and success, without preaching from a soap-box, should absolutely be admired, it’s not easy.
Anyway, bunch of random thoughts here, but glad this thread is here! People that post on social media in front of their sports cars and airplanes and make it seem like there’s no stress in their day and it’s so easy to do, that’s garbage and who knows if it’s even real. But, the principles of hard work, consistency, determination, and belief, are something many people lack and are quick to criticize those who have achieved levels of success they do not view as feasible for themselves.
All of what you say is true and commendable but you’re not the type of guy I was talking about. I’m actually on a timeline myself for much of the day. Though I do have my goof-off breaks, posting on T-mag for example, I really don’t have much free time and my job is busy. On lifting days, I arrive at the gym between 4 and 5 AM, and 7 and 8 AM on Sundays. As you know I have one kid with a large in-law family with my own family being very involved in my son’s life, another kid on the way, a new home in which there is still stuff to buy and fix or decorate for the seasons. Come to think of it, I’m on for much of the day.
And as I mentioned, the heavyweights in my social circle I do admire, they simply don’t act in the disingenuous, patronizing ways I refer to here. And of the historically important men I admire, such men were likely “on” for nearly their entire lives. There’s a distinction to be made here between narcissists or buffoons and driven men.
This is not the sort of “on” I am referring to. I believe it takes being right next to one of these “always-on” people to see who I refer to. They’re turned on with admirable traits on display. Otherwise I would’ve mentioned such people in a positive light.
I agree with this. But again, that’s now what I refer to here.
I actually do stick to a morning ritual most days myself. I have found that audio books and podcasts have served me well because I can listen to them while I make my breakfast, eat, and drive my car.
Aside from work I plan on being super-involved with my kids and Im already involved with my son. As I have outright stated or implied, my own father was sinfully negligent to me; so I plan on doing the exact opposite with my son. Looking back on my own life, I had some lost years in my life, and I believe they could have been avoided if it were not for some depressing circumstances that I can’t go into here (inb4 “oh, are you blaming someone else?” One can knock that off if they don’t someone else’s situation and history). I plan on being highly involved in the new community I live in, being involved with my children’s endeavors, joining the PTA, all that!
Just this past month, with the snow, I was likely out of my house in the backyard with my son ten minutes after I arrived home. Then it was off to doing other stuff for all of the nights.
This is in contrast to the sort of Al Bundy types of fathers I grew up around as a late Gen Xer in the garden apartments of northern Queens, NYC. That stereotypical character didn’t come from nowhere, and perhaps such men are the reason younger men of our era don’t want to emulate them.
When I think back on such times and men, the most common image that comes to mind are men slumped on the couch with in a pair of Lee Jeans, a T-shirt, and a TV-induced coma–the sort of men who had their wives preparing dinner and partaking in very little or no activity in the home or family. I suspect this is why there were so many despondent, lost, confused teenagers that grew up around me, and this includes promiscuous young women. No authority of the household, no activity, no vetting of friends or potential mates that came over for their kids!
Of course I have rambled and jumped around a bit. And I don’t say the rest to prove, “see, look at what I do; look at how busy I am too.” I said it to show that I actually do wholeheartedly agree with and admire you and that who I referred to in this thread is another type of personality altogether. For my own good, I don’t want to be some mentally, intellectually, and physically regressing man for my own good, but more importantly for my kids. To me, that will be the ultimate failure (not being dramatic).