The Corporate World

The worst one we have is ‘going forward’ which I have been guilty of using a few times in emails.

For the most part we don’t have this issue. The culture is fairly informal even from the bosses.

Those military officers who live their lives in “emergency meetings” and “briefs” (nothing brief about it) can certainly relate. It’s a miserable life, and I recently left the military to try my hand in the corporate world. At a minimum, I get to go home each night and on weekends so I can “re-charge my batteries”.

Buzz words will ruin any good unit, any good idea, or anything of value. As a communications guy, I had a very technical job that was filled with acronyms (several of them legitimate). Any asshole who didn’t know communications could rattle a few off and feel his ego skyrocket. I believe that those who live their lives around bullshit, meaningless acroynyms are the people who are least useful to the organization.

[quote]biglifter wrote:
We have enough acronyms where I work that it should be recognized as a separate language. [/quote]

When I first started at GE Aviation I was knocked senseless by the number of acronyms. Hell, the company name is an acronym. Every time someone used an acronym that I didnt recognize, I would ask what it was. This would always get groans and moans from guys that had been there for a long time, but all the new guys like me would lean in and listen.

Within a few days I got sent a link to the ACRONYM DICTIONARY. I shit you not, a fucking dictionary of acronyms. There were literally THOUSANDS of them.

Huh, guess standing by myself on an assembly line isn’t so bad after all.

[quote]therajraj wrote:
Eat Nutrigrain bars brah

Seemed more like an ad for cocaine than NutriGrain.

LOL, I work for a big corp but I am out in one of our sites in Mexico. I really enjoy puncturing some of the Corp BS that comes out.

LOL, I work for a big corp but I am out in one of our sites in Mexico. I really enjoy puncturing some of the Corp BS that comes out.

Add value

Strategic

lol @ going forward

I will enjoy this thread.

The new year is just a reminder that I have to work with these assholes for another 12 months. Being in info technology, a few of my personal most hated things that will ensure you are moved to the lowest of the low priorities:

  1. Don’t end your e-mail with ‘please advise’. You asked me 500 questions in a single fucking e-mail, you know a fucking answer is coming to all the shit you were too lazy to research on your own. I interpret please advise as take your time in replying, and I act accordingly

  2. Don’t put HELP! in the subject line. If you are really in a situation that requires that word, it shouldn’t be directed toward me and certainly shouldn’t be conveyed via e-mail. Cardiac events and low batteries in your wireless mouse are not on the same fucking level

  3. When I walk in the building, at least let me set down my fucking bag before you start unloading all the dumb shit you managed to do to your PC while you were bored at home. Unless your current job title is ‘smokin hot intern’, I don’t need an escort to my office for any reason. The fact that I don’t make eye contact and limit responses to nods and grunts should be a hint that repair will be severely delayed

Hope this helps…(because I couldn’t be fucked getting to the point in the first place and you really should not have wasted my time to begin with).

It doesn’t get any better, I’ve found you need to find happiness in what you do because your peers, subordinates, supervisors and the management honestly don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.

I’ve let go of office grudges and politics, it’s easier to not get involved in the first place.

Plan your own future because your company certainly does not want to (despite their spiel on training and development, global employees, job rotation etc).

Over used phrases : thinking outside the box, grab that low-hanging fruit, let’s synergise, loop me in, touch base, bring to the table, value add. These end up in resumes as well.

The biggest gripe I have is companies not uniting soon enough to be competitive. We get caught up in reports, and numbers, and metrics, and more reports to senior management (or shareholders) when the actual tasks of what’s keeping us in business in the first place (sales, customer service, operations - take your pick) is being ignored or muffled.

Starting your own business or working for yourself in some manner is always a glamorous option but when it comes down to it very few will be able to slog through the necessary mindset changes, hits to the bottom line, competition, family pressure, dealing with economic changes that such career shift entails. Fact is unless you have a very unique skill that you either do better, cheaper or one that no one else is willing to do going out alone is the most difficult option out there.

takeaway

threshold

appetite

ok I’m done.

[quote]bugeishaAD wrote:
Add value

Strategic

[/quote]

Oh crap, I don’t know who coined “value added” but he needs to be immolated with a flame-thrower! And don’t even get me started on “strategic”…