T Nation

The Bush Conservative Dictionary

In light of recent discussions, including yesterday’s confirmation hearing, I see that Webster is hopelessly outdated so I thought it would be useful for us to start a dictionary with the meanings apparently modern republicans use.

I’ll start with some, feel free to pitch in (and feel free to start your “Liberal Dictionary” too!):

  • Conservative: a Good person with moral principles that believes that the majority should rule absolutely over the minorities

  • Liberal: an Evil person with no moral principles who resists the majority democratically putting limits to their choice to be Evil

  • Truth: whatever one believes in at a given moment, even if it has no or little base in fact

  • Lie: not telling the truth, i.e., not saying what you believe in at the time

  • Fact: something Evil people use to denigrate the Truth

  • Proof: something that may or may not change Truth depending if that makes it Evil or not

  • Incompetence: a very excusable trait that in no way needs to be corrected or admonished, especially if one always tells the Truth

  • Wrong: whatever Evil people do these days

  • Right: whatever Good people do these days

“HARD WORK”: taking a vacation and playing golf while 19 year old soldiers from Ohio and little Iraqi children die.

“MISSION ACCOMPLISHED”: (see premature ejaculation)

“BRING IT ON”: an invitation to insurgents from all over the middle east to come and kill 19 year olds from Ohio while you hang out at your ranch doing coke and drink-driving

Just waiting for the howls of protest from Zeb and co.

Maybe since “mission accomplished” happened so early… the decision was made to play with it for a while and try again?

[u]The Liberal Dictionary[/u]

Constitutional Right - Those things which a majority of the judges hearing the case determine it is.

Racist - Anyone who does not agree to fund certain social programs. However, it does not include those who make the basic assumption that certain races need help.

Election Fraud - Us not winning. Election fraud is grounds for protest.

_____ Rights - Those rights which we take from one and give to another. For example, “reproductive rights” involves taking rights from the unborn child and placing them in the hands of the mother, and “workers rights” involves taking the right of businesses and workers to contract and places them in the hands of union leaders.

Fair Share - The amount we want to take from the rich, skim off of (through government beauracracy), and inefficiently allocate to those with an agenda or special interests or those which we can make dependent upon us as a government.

Congress shall make no law… - Government shall adopt an atheist view and treat religion with skepticism, ignoring that adoption of a “god-less” government is potentially just as offensive to a religious community as adopting a theocracy is to an atheist or agnostic. Note, in future revisions, this doctrine shall be used to insulate people from other forms of public displays of religion, such as students praying at schools or using public grounds for personal religious use.

Freedom of Speech - The freedom to say whatever you want, however you want, wherever you want, unless it involves violent video games, violence on T.V., explicit rap lyrics, or other things which are deemed “harmful to children.” “Freedom of Speech” also does not include comments which might unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings, make someone upset, challenge the status quo in academia, or push a conservative opinion in a public forum, even if there is a factual base (such as saying that there may be differences between men and women which make it easier for men to excel in math and sciences).

Government Funding - The inherent right of everyone, both American and non-American, to force the tax base to pay them for whatever work they deem is worthwhile. Note that “Government Funding” and “Freedom of Speech” are closely related. Thus, someone who urinates in a bottle containing a crucifix maintains their inherent right to government funding. This section DOES NOT apply to those pursuing a Christian idea (such as wanting to major in theology). See “Congress shall make no law” above.

Anti-Discrimination - Discriminating against people not of certain subsets of groups (including African-Americans, Latinos, homosexuals, or other group deemed to need a bonus) by giving them additional opportunities, whether or not it can be shown that they were ever damaged by another group or not. Thus, a rich African-American student is entitled to an advantage for college admissions, while a poor white student is not, even though studies show that the rich African-American has an academic advantage.

Diversity - As many liberal points of view as possible. Thus, when determining “viewpoint diversity” in college admissions, those groups which lean more conservative need not be considered for diversity purposes. It is important to keep in mind that diversity does not involve checking the range of opinions, but merely the number of minority-raced liberals. Furthermore, there is no need to analyze backgrouns - it is assumed that groups live up to stereotypes and that they view the world consistent with those stereotypes.

This whole “Mission Accomplished” argument really bugs me. Did any of you actually listen to the speech? Just in case you missed it, Bush said the following while standing underneath the now infamous banner:

“We have difficult work to do in Iraq. We’re bringing order to parts of that country that remain dangerous…The transition from dictatorship to democracy will take time, but it is worth every effort.”

Now, are you really going to claim Bush was saying the war is over? Its not like Bush swaggered out onto the runway, yelled yeeeehaaaa and said, “The War is over boys!! It’ll be clear sailin’ from here on out!!” He said, in no uncertain terms, the fighting isnt over and it aint gonna be over for some time.

By “Mission Accomplished,” the administration was congratulating the troops on a job well done, specifically, those aboard the Lincoln who were on their way home. Seriously, all partisanship aside, what in the hell is wrong with that? Many mistakes have been made, but that is not one of them.

I realize this was a favorite talking point of the Democrats in the run up to the election, but its over now, so please, for the love God, enough with the phony outrage. There is plenty to criticize Bush about…stick to the stuff that actually matters.

)

[quote]LBRTRN wrote:
This whole “Mission Accomplished” argument really bugs me. Did any of you actually listen to the speech? Just in case you missed it, Bush said the following while standing underneath the now infamous banner:

“We have difficult work to do in Iraq. We’re bringing order to parts of that country that remain dangerous…The transition from dictatorship to democracy will take time, but it is worth every effort.”

Now, are you really going to claim Bush was saying the war is over? Its not like Bush swaggered out onto the runway, yelled yeeeehaaaa and said, “The War is over boys!! It’ll be clear sailin’ from here on out!!” He said, in no uncertain terms, the fighting isnt over and it aint gonna be over for some time.

By “Mission Accomplished,” the administration was congratulating the troops on a job well done, specifically, those aboard the Lincoln who were on their way home. Seriously, all partisanship aside, what in the hell is wrong with that? Many mistakes have been made, but that is not one of them.

I realize this was a favorite talking point of the Democrats in the run up to the election, but its over now, so please, for the love God, enough with the phony outrage. There is plenty to criticize Bush about…stick to the stuff that actually matters.

)
[/quote]

He can say all he wants that there is still ‘Difficult Work’ to be done, but when you hear the words ‘Mission Accomplished’ what do you think of? One may be tempted to think, this means the job is done. Accomplished does not mean first quarter or fifth or tenth of a job has been done. Whatever he said afterwards on the carrier, ‘Mission Accomplished’ was a misnomer.

You’re right about one thing- there is plenty to criticize Bush about. And my outrage isn’t phony, although I do like poking fun in a lot of threads on this site. But when you live overseas, in a country where the news actually shows the casualties, from both sides, you realise how horrible this conflict is. I’ve seen young American men lying dead in the street. And yesterday I saw an Iraqi boy whose home was bombed by a US jet. He was in the hospital. His hands had been burned off. His arms were charred to stumps. He asked the doctor if he was going to get new hands. The doctor couldn’t answer. The boy said if he did not receive new hands he would kill himself. You don’t see that sort of stuff on TV in America. It’s deemed ‘In bad taste’ Can you believe this? It’s not distasteful to do the act, but it’s distasteful to show it? I guess I’m ranting, but this war does excite my passions like nothing has in my life to date. Personally, none of my outrage over the war, any aspect of the war, is phony.

[quote]deanosumo wrote:
LBRTRN wrote:
This whole “Mission Accomplished” argument really bugs me. Did any of you actually listen to the speech? Just in case you missed it, Bush said the following while standing underneath the now infamous banner:

“We have difficult work to do in Iraq. We’re bringing order to parts of that country that remain dangerous…The transition from dictatorship to democracy will take time, but it is worth every effort.”

Now, are you really going to claim Bush was saying the war is over? Its not like Bush swaggered out onto the runway, yelled yeeeehaaaa and said, “The War is over boys!! It’ll be clear sailin’ from here on out!!” He said, in no uncertain terms, the fighting isnt over and it aint gonna be over for some time.

By “Mission Accomplished,” the administration was congratulating the troops on a job well done, specifically, those aboard the Lincoln who were on their way home. Seriously, all partisanship aside, what in the hell is wrong with that? Many mistakes have been made, but that is not one of them.

I realize this was a favorite talking point of the Democrats in the run up to the election, but its over now, so please, for the love God, enough with the phony outrage. There is plenty to criticize Bush about…stick to the stuff that actually matters.

)

He can say all he wants that there is still ‘Difficult Work’ to be done, but when you hear the words ‘Mission Accomplished’ what do you think of? One may be tempted to think, this means the job is done. Accomplished does not mean first quarter or fifth or tenth of a job has been done. Whatever he said afterwards on the carrier, ‘Mission Accomplished’ was a misnomer.

You’re right about one thing- there is plenty to criticize Bush about. And my outrage isn’t phony, although I do like poking fun in a lot of threads on this site. But when you live overseas, in a country where the news actually shows the casualties, from both sides, you realise how horrible this conflict is. I’ve seen young American men lying dead in the street. And yesterday I saw an Iraqi boy whose home was bombed by a US jet. He was in the hospital. His hands had been burned off. His arms were charred to stumps. He asked the doctor if he was going to get new hands. The doctor couldn’t answer. The boy said if he did not receive new hands he would kill himself. You don’t see that sort of stuff on TV in America. It’s deemed ‘In bad taste’ Can you believe this? It’s not distasteful to do the act, but it’s distasteful to show it? I guess I’m ranting, but this war does excite my passions like nothing has in my life to date. Personally, none of my outrage over the war, any aspect of the war, is phony.

[/quote]

I dont mean to imply that your moral outrage over the war is phony, I apologize for that. Its just my personal opinion that the outrage over a banner (I dont think Bush even said, “Mission Accomplished” in the speech) is a bit much…a mountain out of a mole hill, if you will. The whole point of the “Mission Accomplished” banner was to congratulate the troops who had just overthrown an enemy regime. It signaled an end to major military combat- no more large armored troop movements and such, thats it, nothing more.

As to your point about the death of innocent people…I couldn?t agree with you more. It is tragic and our media should show more of it. If only we could have witnessed the death and torture that occurred in Iraq prior to US military involvement, that might put this whole thing in context. I hope that when all this is over, future generations of Iraqis will be able to live their lives with some semblance of normalcy and happiness; something they havent known for decades.

Well a forum discussion based on humor has degenerated into political discussion.

Ok, I’ll bite. The Mission Accomplished was a big banner on the ship, but not uttered. I have heard that those banners are used every time a ship returns. I don’t know if that is true or not, but it was up in big letters above the President when he spoke.

What many here don’t know is that the reason for the speech in the first place was because many countries said they would only send troops for assistance after the major conflict was over. So the purpose of his speech was to get more foreign troops involved. Something the left repeatedly was harping about.

But you should realize mission one was accomplished. We took Baghdad, and in record time. We were on the next mission, securing Iraq. Something we should have done more aggressively, including hitting Fallujah sooner, and harder then we did. We should not worry about PC when it comes to our troops.

The only people worried about this banner are the people trying to make political hay out of it. Let’s actually deal with real topics here. Not some banner on a ship.

[quote]LBRTRN wrote:
deanosumo wrote:
LBRTRN wrote:
This whole “Mission Accomplished” argument really bugs me. Did any of you actually listen to the speech? Just in case you missed it, Bush said the following while standing underneath the now infamous banner:

“We have difficult work to do in Iraq. We’re bringing order to parts of that country that remain dangerous…The transition from dictatorship to democracy will take time, but it is worth every effort.”

Now, are you really going to claim Bush was saying the war is over? Its not like Bush swaggered out onto the runway, yelled yeeeehaaaa and said, “The War is over boys!! It’ll be clear sailin’ from here on out!!” He said, in no uncertain terms, the fighting isnt over and it aint gonna be over for some time.

By “Mission Accomplished,” the administration was congratulating the troops on a job well done, specifically, those aboard the Lincoln who were on their way home. Seriously, all partisanship aside, what in the hell is wrong with that? Many mistakes have been made, but that is not one of them.

I realize this was a favorite talking point of the Democrats in the run up to the election, but its over now, so please, for the love God, enough with the phony outrage. There is plenty to criticize Bush about…stick to the stuff that actually matters.

)

He can say all he wants that there is still ‘Difficult Work’ to be done, but when you hear the words ‘Mission Accomplished’ what do you think of? One may be tempted to think, this means the job is done. Accomplished does not mean first quarter or fifth or tenth of a job has been done. Whatever he said afterwards on the carrier, ‘Mission Accomplished’ was a misnomer.

You’re right about one thing- there is plenty to criticize Bush about. And my outrage isn’t phony, although I do like poking fun in a lot of threads on this site. But when you live overseas, in a country where the news actually shows the casualties, from both sides, you realise how horrible this conflict is. I’ve seen young American men lying dead in the street. And yesterday I saw an Iraqi boy whose home was bombed by a US jet. He was in the hospital. His hands had been burned off. His arms were charred to stumps. He asked the doctor if he was going to get new hands. The doctor couldn’t answer. The boy said if he did not receive new hands he would kill himself. You don’t see that sort of stuff on TV in America. It’s deemed ‘In bad taste’ Can you believe this? It’s not distasteful to do the act, but it’s distasteful to show it? I guess I’m ranting, but this war does excite my passions like nothing has in my life to date. Personally, none of my outrage over the war, any aspect of the war, is phony.

I dont mean to imply that your moral outrage over the war is phony, I apologize for that. Its just my personal opinion that the outrage over a banner (I dont think Bush even said, “Mission Accomplished” in the speech) is a bit much…a mountain out of a mole hill, if you will. The whole point of the “Mission Accomplished” banner was to congratulate the troops who had just overthrown an enemy regime. It signaled an end to major military combat- no more large armored troop movements and such, thats it, nothing more.

As to your point about the death of innocent people…I couldn?t agree with you more. It is tragic and our media should show more of it. If only we could have witnessed the death and torture that occurred in Iraq prior to US military involvement, that might put this whole thing in context. I hope that when all this is over, future generations of Iraqis will be able to live their lives with some semblance of normalcy and happiness; something they havent known for decades.

[/quote]

You make a lot of sense. Get angry over things, not names. Actually I put ‘Mission Accomplished’ in this ‘dictionary’ for a laugh. It’s like saying Bush committed a crime for ‘Bring it on’, something he has since apologised for, which, in the context of all the shocking decisions he had made, didn’t bother me.

If you are interested in seeing the real side of the war, a good place to go is the DemocracyNow website. They present a viewpoint different to that you will see on any of the free-to-air TV networks or even CNN.

I think US media is graphic enough, thank you very much. I don’t need to see all the suffering to know it’s happening. I know it is called War is Hell for many reasons.

Do you think that maybe the European media shows all that stuff in an effort to affect you emotionally? Perhaps to inititiate negative emotion against the war? hmm? And isn’t it true that this war is generally oppossed by most Europeans (Old Europeans? hehe!) and by their governments? And so, couldn’t those media, by feeding those negative stories, be giving you, a: exactly what the people want, ie meeting market demands, and or b: exactly what their governments would like the people to see?

As to Mission Accomplished:

The folks on board the USS Abraham Lincoln - currently in service to tsunami victims - had one objective: win the war and castrate Saddam Hussein from power.

In which case, “Mission Accomplished” is exactly right.

The magnitude and precision of force used in Iraq to level military assets as well as forcing Saddam out was frightening.

The folks on board the USS Lincoln had done their job and done it well - so a visit from the President and a party banner celebrating their overwhelming military success was not a big deal. Anyone who pays attention to such things knew the real challenge was winning the peace and preventing a civil war - even before the war, talking heads were talking about the difficulties of what to do when Saddam was gone and there was a power vaccuum, and so was the administration.

That is, liberals’ tortured interpretation of the banner as some ad campaign of Bush hubris notwithstanding.

When VE-Day - the formal celebration of the defeat of Hitler - was declared in Europe, was that ‘premature ejaculation’ even though it was hell on earth to get Germany rebuilt again over the next 5, 10, and 20 years?

Nice Cory089!

You might be right T-bolt. I’d like to add that I heard that the USS Lincoln was on it’s way home from it’s longest voyage at sea. I believe it was twice as long as any of it’s previous voyages. They were near the end of their original voyage when our nation needed it for the war. So they sailed back to serve the nation at war. I imagine a carrier at war is quite a busy, exhausting, and hazardous activity. Finally, the ship was ordered to sail home. Finally! The USS Lincoln’s MISSION was ACCOMPLISHED! Hurrah! The longest and most grueling mission in it’s history! Something to celebrate and crow about, indeed.

Some More Liberal Definitions

Is- They still don’t know what it means.

$169 million - A big assed trailer house in Little Rock.

Cankles - Former firsy-lady and now Junior Senator from NY.

Flip-Flop - The liberals ace in the hole. No matter the issue, make suere you are on record as being for it and against it. Sometimes you can be for it before you’re against it, but just make sure you’re on both sides.

Sensitive War - Making sure the the French are o.k. with it before we proceed with bombing shit that was built by their contractors as a payoff for the OFF program.

Open-Minded - Agreeing with everything that the left-wing wackos say.

hspder:

Congratulations for starting another Bush hate thread. This one seems to be turning on you in a most entertaining way (at least to me).

Cory,

Beautiful post!!!

What a wonderful day!!!

Democracy in action!!!

Another four years of strong leadership!!!

The liberal press, certain directors, and all sorts of malcontents have been rebuked and humiliated. GWB has increased his majority in the House/Senate. Clearly won the majority of electoral/popular votes.

All is well with the world!!!

Oh, on this glorious day, I just wanted to remind my poor, little, liberal losing friends that I can produce a multitude of pictures of your champion, and hero, BillyBoy, having himself a whale of a time at his inauguration in 1993.

Oh, if memory serves, I think we were in Somalia at the time.

I think I can produce an equal number of pictures of him golfing/dinking around during our other military involvments during his tenure. (Imagine the pictures that aren’t available on the net!!!)

I wish everyone a Happy Inauguration Day!!!

I’ll see you in four years for a President Schwarzenegger Inaugural gala!!!

JeffR

Here is another view on the war from a soldier on the ground. Read the whole thing, it is worth it.

Dean

http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/05/breaking2453389.0680555557.html

[quote]ZEB wrote:
hspder:

Congratulations for starting another Bush hate thread. This one seems to be turning on you in a most entertaining way (at least to me). [/quote]

Why, because the way it turned out was so predictable? :slight_smile:

That reminds of any another couple of entries in your dictionary:

Provocation - Something that Liberals do on purpose all the time, hence it must be Evil; Liberals go as far as claiming Conservatives also do it all the time, but Conservatives do not believe they are, so they must be incorrect (see TRUTH)

Humor - See ABSTRACT

[quote]JeffR wrote:
I’ll see you in four years for a President Schwarzenegger Inaugural gala!!!
[/quote]

You know what? If that happens, I’ll be happy. Seriously. He might be a Republican, but I have no problem with that. I’m not affiliated to any of the US parties.

He has shown time after time he’s FAR from being a coward far right conservative fundamentalist with complete detachment from reality.

He’s the exact opposite: he’s a pretty down-to-Earth, realistic, courageous, intelligent guy who worked extremely hard for everything he achieved. And that’s got to be good in my book.

Goes to prove that there are both complete idiots and intelligent people on both sides of the bipartisan fence.

If he keeps being the person he is, doesn’t sell his soul to the far right and still runs, I’ll vote for him. Seriously. I already did it once.