T Nation

The BEST Drinking Job You've Had?


#1

Enough negativity about jobs that sucked... how about jobs where you were able to drink (or partake of other substances...), whether or not it was permitted?

I go first...

I was about 19 and worked in a body shop sanding cars. The owner had one of those old Coke machines.. guess what? Those little Michelob bottles were a perfect for for it. He'd stock it up in the morning, no charge. He was a 5-star drunk and most of us drank our share.

One day, after work, I was riding with the boss to pick up my car at his apartment. I left it there in the morning as I took a customer's car into the shop. Well, he's pretty sloshed and manages to run his van into the back of a car that had stopped in front of us. We were driving right into the glare of the sun.

He gets out, looks at the damage, the other person calls the cops. My boss goes to his van, starts tossing empty beer cans into the woods. It seems that some guy walking his dog standing there watching rats him out. The cops test him and locks him up on the spot. I hoof it back to the shop to get a tow truck to get the van. He winds up with a DUI out of it.

About 3 weeks later the shop burns to the ground. Part of it was a repair shop and a car with a leaky fuel line sat in there all night. The first person in flips the lights on and BOOM!! Lucky nobody was hurt. Just as well for me.

Rob


#2

I can drink in my current job- I'm self employed. I don't when I'm working on somebody else's property, but on my own? Hell yes.
The other day I was working on a roof in near darkness with a pint of lager inside me.
But by far the best one was getting rust off motorcycle parts with 8 pints of lager inside me.
If I'd broken the parts or the machines or whatever, I'd have been screwed. But I didn't and I wasn't.


#3

When I was 24 I had a job at a barbeque restaurant, and my job was to cook the barbeque, which meant burning wood down to coals, and keeping the pit fired up. Took about 12 hours to finish. I told my boss that it is impossible to do this job without a beer. He agreed, and said, just don't get too drunk. So I would bring some beer to work every day, or trade some ribs for beer with the guy next door, who was working at a hardware store. He drank on the job too!!

One day I had an encounter with a drunk homeless guy. He walked up behind me while I was chopping some wood with an axe. He asked for money, I said No. He leaned in too close and said, I used to play football when I was your age. I barely touched his chest to move him away. I swear to God, he fell backwards on his heels and slammed into the ground! I was stunned, and asked him if he was alright. He said Are you kidding, I used to play football when I was your age. He asked me for a smoke, so I gave him one and he put it in his mouth and I lit him up. I walked back inside....he was still laying right where he fell, smoking his cigarette.


#4

When I was eighteen I ran a merry-go-round and for a summer. I never drank on the job per say but I was higher than a kite most days lol. I even found a bag of weed and a fiver of oil one day sweeping up :slight_smile:

The job I had after that was in a factory that had a peeler bar on the corner. Fridays at lunch we would walk down and have a couple cold ones and go back to work. The bosses knew we were going there but it was on our time and as long as we weren't late coming back they couldn't say fuck all. A couple guys who were big time lushes would suck back eight beers in twenty minutes and go back to work, no joke, actually one of them ordered eight rye and cokes.

One winter we pushed it too far. We were doing shotguns in the parking on break all winter and just tossing the cans in the ditch so when the snow started to melt there was this huge pile of cans as evidence. Oops, busted.


#5

Never drank on the job but if I did I'd of told 20+ women what I thought of their work ethic. Lazy fuckers.


#6

For some reason, I've had more than a few drinking-while-working tales. This also involves roofing.

I hired on as a roofer's helper for a summer job between semesters at school. This was an all Irish crew. We started real early to beat the heat, on the job site as soon as the dew dried on the roofs and we'd be done by 2-3 PM whenever possible. These guys would start drinking early, about 8 or 9 once the job was underway. Whoever was on the ground would put a cold 6-pack on a line and they'd hoist it up. This went on all day. Had to piss? Not a problem, right down the chimney or off a somewhat private edge of the roof. I got used to being 1/2 in the bag hanging over the edge of a roof doing the starter course.

I'd go home and need to nap, these guys kept going and switched to whiskey and scotch at bars on the way home. One of them passed out while driving home from the bar, wiped out a line of 6 parked cars along the side of the road.

Rob


#7

I used to serve beer between deliveries at a very relaxed-environment pizza restaurant with high grade micros and imports. You can fill in the details.


#8

I drank my share during my pizza making days when I was 16. As soon as the owner stepped out, a couple of us stepped into the walkin box. Amazing he never missed any since we mainly hit the Michelob he saved for whan his paisans came to visit.

The place was always hot as fuck, so we'd drink a ton and it really had no effect on us.

Rob


#9

My first official job as an adult was a crazy drinking/other substances job working on the lawn crew of a big apartment complex. It started out with a stoner buddy of mine from high school getting me the job and with whom I used to wake and bake every morning before school. As we were being shown around the shop the supervisor pointed out the fridge- A standard refrigerator with a tap system out the side and a half barrel of Budweiser inside.

In the freezer were fifths and half gallons of various whiskeys that the residents give the crew for Christmas. The superintendent worked out a deal with a local beer distributor that when we turned over the appliances in an apartment they get the fridge and we get free halfs of Bud. The only condition was that it was for after work only, and we even adhered to that for a while. We would get completely smoked out through out the day though.

Then the upper management started screwing us around about an annual raise, and completely fucked off our supervisor who was making less after 6 years than us, who had just been hired. The gloves came off. A few of the residents also smoked and we started toking with them during work at the pool house, and partying with them after work at their places.

Around this time was when we started getting cases of beer at lunch and stuffing them into the big gator-aid jugs on ice, and more often than not a half gallon of Jim Beam. A bunch of the women who lived there were newly divorced/getting divorced, and everybody started hooking up with everybody. To keep thing rolling after work a bunch of us started blowing a whole lot of coke too, which was readily available from the resident dealer/coke head.

Then one day my cousin lit one of the hillsides on fire instead of brush cutting it. That was kind of the straw that broke the camels back because upper management became aware that things were getting a little out of hand. We had to quit getting all coked up all of the time and start keeping the place a little neater.

Eventually with the year to year turn over the whole partying crew kind of dispersed and everybody moved on, some moved out, and I ended up getting a different job somewhere else after a couple of years, but it was fun while it lasted.


#10

My current job has two kegerators in the office. We have white and red wine about 12-24 bottles of each. Once a month we have a case study, networking and cocktail party. Pretty much the entire staff is drinking from 5pm-midnight. The case study ends at 9 and we all go out afterwards to drink even more.

I have told yall this before, but my birthday in 2013 was at the office. We closed down and brought out Patron, drained the kegerators, and had some left over Sauza tequila so we finished that off. My boss drove me home because I was tossing my cookies. I drank more than the other 5 people combined.

I have drank more in the last year than the proceeding 35 years combined. I love my job.


#11

I run a company that tests people for drugs and alcohol on the job.

Im sitting in a hotel in Az checking on one of my job sites sipping on a Beam and Diet coke.


#12

Yeah, I have my share of these stories, probably more than my fair share....Good times.

However, my body has developed a clever trick to keep me from drinking anymore. It rejects it. Turns my intestines inside and out. Have no clue why, it's just not worth the suffering though. Hopefully it will go away someday. I loved Whiskey, but it burns like hellfire so that's out.

I guess I should start doing rails or something :wink:


#13

We had our case study last night here at work. Three co-workers and my self downed a bottle of Rumple meintz (sp) in an hour. Then went over to a restaurant to have some more shots, Patron and Kamakazees. I have the worst hang over head ache I have ever had.


#14

Trader, I'd leave the floor around 10:30 AM and drink til 1:00 then go back to work for the last hour. If it was a Friday or an otherwise slow day, I might not even go back. Drink til 8 or so, then make plans to go out. More drinks, some pick-me-ups, and before you know it it's 2 AM. That went on for nearly 9 years.


#15

Best cure for hangovers is a pork chop that has been left in an ashtray all night.

Chow down!
(if the thought of that doesn't make you lurch, it ain't that bad.)


#16

How about a nice, greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray....

Quote from Weird Science.