The Average Guy

In Chris Shug’s “The Average Guy,” What is your favorite line and why? Mine is “Waits around for luck when he should be creating opportunity.” This is so true. Everybody wants something for nothing. FOR EX: Everybody wants to be rich, but they are not willing to put research or time into developing a plan.

Believes that weight training will make him “too
big” and doesn’t realize this belief is a form of
rationalization mixed with procrastination.

I just never thought of it that way, but it rings true.

“Needs to accept the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow is one ugly woman. (They even had to digitally enhance her flat ass for the Shallow Hal movie poster.)” - I couldn’t agree more. I’ve never felt that she was remotely attractive.

"Needs to drop the macho attitude and learn the fine art of cunnilingus. You can eat all you want and not get fat." - Now where else can you go for a meal like that? You better believe that I think everyone should EAT MORE PUSSY!

I agree with the first person on the luck and opportunity one. If I could add one I would say: “The average guy was made to believe winning really isn’t everything.” Whoever said that is a dumb ass. Who the fuck wants to lose all the time? Contrary to ‘popular’ belief winning IS everything. And “Believes that good things come to those who wait.” Bullshit, good things never ever ever come to those who wait, it is ALWAYS the guy who takes control of his life. Alot of the phrases I have heard like the above two seem like philosophers a long time ago just made them up for pussies who don’t know shit about living life. ~PorchDawg

Glad you guys like the article. I think I pissed off about 30% of readers and the rest liked it. It’s really not a successful article if you don’t piss off at least a few people. :slight_smile:

Hey, Nate, I dropped you a couple of e-mails but they keep getting sent back to me. Have you changed addresses? Drop me a note.

there are so many. “Thinks Diet Coke neutralizes all the saturated fat in double-bacon cheeseburgers.” I see this every day! “Waits around for luck when he should be creating opportunity.” GREAT line! “Needs to read the book Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk.” and Survivor, great books. gonna read Choke next. Anyone read Invisible Monsters? Scooby

i would just like to thank chris for putting together one of the best articles i have read in a while. i got some of the funniest memories when i read it, i was really laughing out loud. i would just like to say this, no guy is a real guy unless he eats pussy. what kind of warm blooded male doesnt salivate at the thought of getting to spend some quality time next to the most beautiful thing in the world. if you dont like to eat i suggest just putting on the girls panties after she takes them off, they would probably suit the average male. as for me, ill keep on munching.

Pure Kickass, Shug. I was speaking with my uncle this week, who had lost about 20 lbs. or so, yet is still the ultimate poster-guy for “skinny-fat”. He told me that he walks every day. I told him that weight training would burn fat even faster but no, he has a bad back. He said that he eats very little over the course of the day and has a big dinner. I told him he should be doing the opposite. His answer was “Yeah, but at 46 years old, ya know…” Yeah, I know…that I’ll still be fitting into size 33 jeans. T 4 life. Lata.

"MB Eric: Youthinasia...killer. since 1711."


Scoob, I read I.Monsters a couple of weeks ago, an easy read and kind of predictable but still enjoyable. As for the aritcle I thought it was great, and some of the statements make me think, ‘Oh heck’.

Scoob- Invisible Monsters is a wild, messed up ride. It’s mostly about transsexuals, crossdressers, and drug addicts. Pretty crazy stuff, but a fun read. BTW, this book was written before Fight Club and rejected. After Fight Club became popular they released it.

Survivor is pretty good. Haven’t read Choke yet. A reader was supposed to send it to me in exchange for a T-mag shirt, but that never worked out.

Thanks for the replies Chris and hyphnz. I’ve got a lot of school work to do (work on term paper). so i might not get a chance to start choke or invisible monsters just yet if i read choke beforeyou do I’ll let you know how it is Chris. Keep up with theses kind of editorials. My favorite atomic dog ws the Testosterone 911. I still read it and laugh! Take care. Scooby

Looks like this is turing into another literary thread, so here’s my 2 cents. Personally, I though Invisible Monsters sucked ass. Chris mentioned that this book was initially rejected, and I can see why; I thought it was horribly predictable, and attempted to be somewhat plausible, although it didn’t even come close. I guess that after seeing Fight Club (haven’t read it) and reading Survivor, IM was a major disapointment.

Chris, I appreciate your articles and usually search for certain authors each friday. You are one. However, the line about, “to scared to try Mag-10”, made me stop. The thought disrupted my read and made me think, “are they sucking their own dicks?”. I didn’t seem like an appropriate place for it.

Dubs, if I could do that I’d never leave the house!

Actually, the MAG-10 line came to me because I’d just been visiting some of the more “fitness” type forums on the net. Everyone was talking about MAG-10, but it was apparent some were a little scared. One guy said something like, “I just wanna look like an underwear model so I don’t know about taking that stuff.” It struck me as funny. Others has some unrealistic fears based on ignorance of the supplement, or supplements in general. That’s all.