So I’ve had some in-depth discussions lately with my closest guy friends, particularly focused on the friendzone phenomenon. Turns out it’s a completely foreign concept to me, and I was actually kind of baffled by it. It’s never happened to me in my life. In a weird way, I kind of wish it would after hearing them describe it.
What I’ve dealt with I guess I’m gonna call anti-friendzone for lack of a better term. Basically it means that the biggest barrier I face with women is they see me strictly as fling and/or ONS material–the player, d-bag, fuckboi, not trustworthy, etc. I’ve heard it all no matter how I approach. And the second I indicate either desire for friendship or any kind of exclusive dating, they are gone and running before I can even finish. And I will never hear from them again. Apparently, lot of guys get friendzoned and the girl continues talking regularly and spending alot of time with them. Given my experience that actually sounds awesome!
The grand irony of it all, is that I’m the complete antithesis of all those things. I’ve never cheated on any girl I dated, and I’m into nerdy things like improv comedy, comic books, swing dancing, karaoke, etc. But women around Chicago just can’t seem to get past how I look and any assumptions they’ve built up around that. My last relationship lasted 3 years and she STILL didn’t trust me until the very end. She threw a fit if I even talked to a woman that wasn’t her.
Anyway, wanted to share and see if any of you have experienced similar or had any insights. Needless to say, it’s exhausting. As someone who’s very cerebral, ONS just aren’t really my thing. Sex is pointless to me without a serious connection, and at this point I only see it as an STD risk if it’s not someone I’d seriously consider dating. I’ve got my life in order, and I’ve been ready to settle down for years, but I’m not seeing a clear path over this hurdle at the moment.