Yall need to go to their discussion boards. It might be the funniest thing ive ever read. Or the saddest. One guy wanted to know if anyone knew of a toilet seat that wouldnt break under his 450 lb fat ass. All they talk about is how people dont accept them for being fat. Fuck that. I used to be fat enough to buy clothes at the big and fat store. Now im purdy. at least thats what the guy in the mirror tells me and you know he always tells the truth. I cant believe these people actually live their lives this way. One woman said she had become a water aerobics addict. no fucking wonder she aint losing weight. good lord.
Godberg, I guess you saw my letter about NAFFA.org (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance) in the Reader Mail section of this week’s mag. My letter actually came from my posting in MDLP’s thread “Why are there sooo many fatties?” This is an awesome thread, with some really funny fucked-up shit. Here is one of my posts:
Yeah, I’ve seen these people in action. They typically eat a couple of donuts and some coffee for breakfast, a bag of chips and a Coke around 10 AM, McDonald’s for lunch, a bag of buttery popcorn and Coke for a mid-day snack, and take-out pizza, cheese sticks or wings, and Coke for dinner. And they wonder why their asses are as wide as most doorways! Then they bitch if they actually have to walk somewhere. You see them in the grocery store parking lot waiting five minutes for a car to pull out of a spot three spots closer to the store than the next open spot. Then they load up on chips, low-fat cookies (which they eat by the container – can’t hurt, since they are fat-free! LOL) and Diet Coke (which apparently is believed by some to magically negate the sugar and fat in the donuts). Then they bitch about their genetics!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! LOL
The other day, a large group of us were walking up a staircase behind a really fat pig. Not only did she fucking reek, she could barely get her fat ass up the stairs. She even had difficulty lifting her fat fucking feet up to the next step! We were afraid that she would miss a step, slip, and roll down the stairs, taking us out like so many unfortunate bowling pins! We all tried to move over to safety (no getting around this wide-load), but, somehow, she made it up, although she was beet-red and sucking wind like a Hoover! We have a death pool on her…I have July 3. Although she’s about 40, I think I may be too optimistic about her longevity!
A final thought to the fat chicks out there…keep America beautiful, lose some fucking weight! Thank you.
Here is my original posting, as it appears in the Fatties thread (prior to T-mag editing). I’m not bitching about the minor editing (it was cool getting published) – I just thought you’d all enjoy it with the inflammatory verbage intact:
I just read what may be the funniest fucking site on the web! It’s at www.naafa.org – the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. Seriously, it’s funny as shit. They think it’s good to be fat, and that it’s neither a serious medical problem nor an irritant for the rest of us! They talk about shit like picketing airlines for charging fat cows extra for taking up two seats! (I think they should be shipped in rail cars like livestock myself.) Regarding the pickets, they say to make sure the picket group is “large” (HAHAHA – really, they do) so that the picketers don’t TIRE! You know, if picketing is strenuous work, it’s time to get into the gym! The site also gives advice on how these fatties can squeeze into airline seats by keeping the armrest up. Of course, the poor guy in the next seat has to have some fat pig’s fat ass oozing into his seat! Here’s a typical gem:
DO YOU ENJOY HIGH RISK ACTIVITIES?
You have about as much chance of winning the lottery as you do of permanently losing weight by dieting. Over a five-year period, only 2-5% of dieters succeed in keeping their weight off. and over one-third of all diets result in long-term weight gain. Would you accept a treatment for any other medical condition that had those “success” rates? If you’ve dieted frequently in the past, what makes you think this time will be any different? You may be wasting time, money, and energy, and risking your health if you go on another diet. Are the odds worth it?
i was going to post the letter from reader mail in their forum but decided against it. it would be funny though.
These people are self delusional. If they were given a “miracle cure” to make them look fit without any work or side effects they would take it without question. However, making fun of them is not gonna help them, all it does is make them defensive.
I have a Darwinistic attitude, they’re not likely to reproduce anyway, so let the weak go.
OK OK OK. It was funny. Now, it’s getting pathetic. Would you laugh and poke fun at the mentally retarded? The disabled? The uneducated? The weak (emotionally, physically, intellectually)?
Your post reeks of insecurity. You have nothing better to do than actively seek out others to make fun of? In my book, that’s far more pathetic than being fat. This kind of behavior is unacceptable in third-graders, let alone adults.
It is sad, when they blame everybody else for being fat and the problems it causes. Maybe they should all adopt the Jared diet, and we would not have all these super fatties. Then we would see the skinny fat invasion instead.
Good to see your insecurity in action. Making fun of fat people with emotional problems is SO cool. Get a life.
I have been trying to create discussion on the NAAFA site but all of my posts keekp getting blocked…I want to thank T-mag for not practicing censorship and encouraging an open forum…
Zev: humans are a critical species. if you have that big of a problem with poking fun at others’, u should take yourself a little less seriously.
i happen to think andrew baye raises some relatively good points.
people are not all dealt the same hand in life, but i think it’s important that people realize that change IS possible. accepting one’s fate is rarely the answer to anything.