Testosterone Writing Contest!

[quote]Norwell Bob wrote:
Uh, so do we post our essays here in the thread, or would it be better to PM them?[/quote]

Post it here.

Thanks!

American society today holds a vastly different ?ideal? for men than it did even as recently as fifteen years ago. Rather than being celebrated for our strength, machismo, and ruggedness, we men are being villified for these qualities. Hollywood, along with most (if not all) other media outlets, are presenting us with a new list of requirements. Today’s American male is best served scrawny, with a side dish of effete. No more do women swoon over rugged jaw lines and meaty hands; smooth and weak is what girls want.

That’s what we’re being told… but we’re not buying it.

Enter Testosterone Nation. Ostensibly begun as a forum for bodybuilders, its actual function is as a place for REAL men (and the women who love, or at least want them) to congregate. An online oasis in a desert of societal castration and feminization. T-Nation is akin to a secret hideout for the cabal of masculinity. Topics range from throwing iron, to eating like a caveman, to sex, to fast cars, to heavy metal, and everything in between. It’s one-stop-shopping for those of us who still have a pair. It’s also one-stop-shopping for the supplements that will help us on our journeys to building massive bodies that tower over and strike fear into the hearts of the weaker sex (read: metro-males).

If you trim your eyebrows with anything daintier than a pair of wire-cutters, can quote Oprah without laughing, or want to find the best way to ?lose weight? without sweating, this is probably not the place for you. If you think there is such a thing as ?too big? or ?too strong?, keep walking. However, if you’re the kind of guy whose recipe for steak begins, ?Step 1: Put cow in headlock?.. welcome home.

tes?tos?ter?one
Pronunciation: [te-'st?s-t&-"rOn
Function: noun
: a male hormone that is a crystalline hydroxy steroid ketone C19H28O2 produced primarily by the testes or made synthetically and that is the main androgen responsible for inducing and maintaining male secondary sex characteristics

na?tion
Pronunciation: nay-shun
Funcion: noun
: A people who share common customs, origins, history, and frequently language; a nationality

Tes?tos?ter?one Na?tion :
Pronunciation: Te-'st?s-t&-"rOn Nay- shun
Function: information, entertainment, socialization and supplement shopping

  1. An informative and entertaining web-based message board offering cutting edge and well-tested information on supplements, physical training and manliness.
  2. A forum where like-minded individuals can learn from, teach and socialize with one another as well as with professionals from the sporting and advanced supplement industry.
  3. A website that informs about and sells advanced nutritional supplements.
  4. Where men learn and teach men how to be better men.
  5. Where testosterone lives; the testes. See also: ?the balls?

All the advice given on Testerone Nation is given from one warrior in training to another. The community here believes we push ourselves, aggressively,adaptively, and painfully because we firmly believe that there is something more valuable than our own persons, and we refuse to allow the opportunity to prove this to pass us by due to lack of preparation.

As Roosevelt would admonish and comment, we refuse to be a “cold and timid soul” and our hearts yearn for the sands of the arena and the sting of battle, not out of pride yet out of strength of character and a firm belief in the Truth that surpasses understanding. We desire to be tried and measured and when we are found in want, it is there that grace meets us.

If I go down, it will be as one who has spent every breath preparing for the moment of conflict and will kneel in full armor and glisting sword before my God. The nature of our conflict is not of our choosing, but the preparation is our duty. My preparation finds me here, at T-Nation.

What is T-Nation? Who are we, what do we stand for? Do we live by a creed, or are we united by interest? What can we say about this body of individuals? I’m not so sure. We like to lift things. Usually heavy things, the thrill of becoming more powerful than nature would have us be. Some of us don’t, some of us like to push ourselves forever, until our bodies become wretched with pain yet our minds feed off the glory, not from others but from within ourselves. Either way, we work towards a goal. Ultimately, we cannot be classified by a practice so much as a philosophy, an ideal.

 We are a people who believe that we alone possess responsibility for ourselves. The higher goal is always attainable, if by effort alone. We refuse to believe that something cannot be done.

 Life is a bitch. Things do not come easy. If something does, chances are it wasn't worth the trouble of taking it. We recognize this. If something is to be worthwhile, we must sacrifice to obtain it. We must work for it and strive for it, bleed for it and die for it. The higher road is never a simple one but it is the only path worth taking. In taking this path we face that which we feared and that which told us we could not. This is not a choice, it is a task given to us. For our lives are built upon these principles. 

 Every day I see people vowing to turn their lives around, people who have lived their existence in pursuit of goals they themselves had no reason to. These people have worked not for what was meant for them but for what others have told them they were meant for. When they join us, they are not indulging in a selfish desire, nor are they disregarding their responsibilities. Contrary, they are becoming who they are meant to be. T-Nation is not about bodybuilding, powerlifting, triathlons or kick-boxing, T-Nation is about realizing your potential. 

We all come here with one desire… one goal in mind… to see our enemies driven before us and hear the lamentation of the women… oh, cripes my bad, I just realized, I was plagiarizing Conan the Barbarian. Oops back to the drawing boards.

D

T-Nation to me is an Oasis in desert of anti-masculinism. It’s my safe haven where I can here all about everything that interests a guy. It’s been one of my best teachers and harshest critics. It’s a place that validates my feelings on finishing A2M but also a place where I have learned alot about being a good man and being honest to myself. It’s the home of some of my best one liners. It’s everything I expected it to be and alot of things I didn’t. It’s enlightenment and ignorance.

T-Nation is my playground.

Men men men men, manly men men men.

Okay, how’s that?

T-Nation? Testosterone Nation.

T-Nation is a comprehensive resource for information on training and nutrition. But, it is more than that. T-Nation is an international online community of individuals of all ages representing a range of interests. From bodybuilders to distance runners, from the week-end warrior to the elite athlete there is something for everyone on T-Nation.

If you are looking for that extra something to take your training to the next level, come on in and have a look around. Need to dial in that diet? You have found the place. Having a bad day and need to blow off some steam? Hit the forums and post a rant. Information, encouragement, support or a kick in the butt? You’ll find it here.

If you are looking for a quick fix or are hoping to find the magic routine that will transform you in a weekend; you are better off somewhere else. If you are looking for excuses then this is not the place for you. If complacent is an adjective that describes you, please get out of the way.

The dedication to busting your ass in whatever endeavor you choose, the drive to stand out amongst the crowd, the realization that the learning process never ends and the desire to be a better person today than you were yesterday are what define T-Nation.

Testosterone, we all produce it.

Testosterone Nation is for every body; but not just anybody.

[quote]MikeTheBear wrote:
Men men men men, manly men men men.

Okay, how’s that?[/quote]

That is why I’m here.

Meow!

T-Nation:

Quite simply T-Nation is a nation of indivuals who love testosterone, and it’s muscle enhancing effects.

A no non-sense, to the point website devoted to products and exercises that work, and the no holds barred, foot-stomping truth on those that are crap!

“How would you define Testosterone Nation?”

Testosterone Nation is a place for those who do not accept that status quo, for those that research for answers because they want to improve themselves not only physically but mentally and spiritually as well.
There’s a respect amongst iron warriors which outsiders do not realise.

Let me elaborate when I workout at my gym under the strain of the iron or push myself on the track or follow a diet to improve my health and appearance - that discipline, that sacrifice of delayed gratification, the lessons we learn while improving ourselves makes us stronger not only physically but in all areas of our lives whatever your goal there is this bond between your fellow members because everyone is striving to achieve more, their not winging or moping around they take full responsibility and march on forward.
“They make the effort”

This is what Testosterone Nation is! One big place were people of strong mind and character meet. T-Nation makes us all get to were we want to go faster.
If we met each other anywhere in the world there would be this instant respect/rapport because when you learn the lessons of the gym or discipline yourself as an athlete you respect yourself which means you respect others.
You know what they have gone through on some level.

I trust a T-Man or Vixen because we have similar thinking. We share ideas and help each other improve in some way

T-Nation is like one big athletes membership of honour with principles of strength.
T-Nation people understand that the strain to improve is not a physical one, it is a battle of in ones mind.

Because we are all of this one bread T-Nation is a place were we can congregate knowledge and the resources we need to take ourselves to a higher level.
Its not just a place for the world’s best supplements (and
I 've tried every other brand believe me -it took alot for them to earn my trust), T-Nation defines us all in a unique way and will always do so if we continue to combine our ideas.

Testosterone Nation is all of us bonded by iron and sweat.

Take what you have read in the mags and throw it out the window. T - Nation is for those who want to break it down but to a system. Eating, Sleeping, Training and living is a evolving process.

Testosterone Nation, in it’s most primitive form, is simply a website. Like any other website on the Internet, it is a place where anybody with access to a computer can go, for whatever their reason, to do whatever they please. In this primitive form, it is neither special nor unique, but just another site amidst a myriad of others on the World Wide Web.

So what makes Testosterone Nation different? Is it the fancy designs and symbols, or the battle between smoking hot chicks and “wicked swole dudes” in the Powerful Image section that keeps us enthralled and coming back for more? It is neither; rather, these things simply portray the common feelings that we as T-Nation members share with each other.

In other words, it is not the website that is so important, but the people. One could compare it to a Church or Temple. It is not the building, but the congregation of those who participate, those in the community. Without the people, there would be nothing but an empty space. Here at T-Nation, we are a community, and that is what makes us so strong.

For those of us that utilize it to the fullest, use the Search button, and know how to read, it is a place where we can escape, a place where we can share in the commonalities of our fellow brethren in the quest to take over the world, or at least enjoy it while we are still here. Where variety is the spice of life, T-Nation is one of many spices. One day you may see a half naked man with a leaf over his small genitals, but hey, he has huge proverbial balls, and it makes for a good laugh. Another day you may see a toddler getting out of school at “Tiny Tots” holding a shoe and asking how much body fat he has. And still another day (or all in the same day if you’re truly blessed) you may wake up, feeling like Captain Flame-O, and make fun of someone incessantly simply to get a good laugh. Whatever it is, the possibilities are endless, and so is this essay.

The hardships and rigors of this life can take its toll on even the strongest and steadfast of people. Where some people would deal with the stresses of living by resorting to alcohol, gravity bong hits in their friends bathtub when they’re not home, or a cheap slop-tart (if you’re like TC, this may be what most of your weekends are like), we are the ones against the mainstream. To come here on our free time means we have the capabilities and opportunity to combat the stresses of life by indulging in the things we love, while being productive at the same time.

We are the ones that refuse to follow the crowd by rejecting the notion that guys need to be borderline gay, wear wicked tight pants or pastel colored shorts with popped collars, and listen to Jack Johnson to get a decent woman. On the flip side, we love women that aren’t afraid to pick up a barbell that weighs more than 20 lbs., throw it on their lovely traps, and get down to business.

We are not elitist, and we do not think we are better than everyone else. We were all created to be treated equally (because we aren’t in fact equal in the truest sense of the word - for instance, men are better than women in everything important, black people are good athletes, white people are good at math, and Mexicans are good swimmers and diggers), but this “equality” we share does not mean we need to except the same fate as the common man. In striving to create a better image of ourselves, we understand that we alone have the power to create or change who we really are. By understanding and embracing this power, the realization that we do not need to except our fate as depressed, sloppy-looking, middle-aged men or women may be too strong to harbor alone.

With the existence of T-Nation, we are given the opportunity to come together and share these feelings and discuss them with others that share them as well. Sure, we would still have these feelings without the website, but where would we be? Misguided and weak as individuals, we would fall to the marketing ploys and lies of the supplement and exercise industry. But together, we have formed a community so strong that it cannot be broken by anyone but ourselves. WE are, in the truest sense of the meaning, the Nation of Testosterone.

Welcome to the T-Nation community, a place unlike any other.

If you are serious about getting into shape, then this is the place, with a no holds barred source of truth without all the bullshit you are used to wading through.

If you want to get leaner, bigger, stronger, or preferably all the above, and do it in an intelligent, healthy way, that is what we are about.

T-Nation is also an attitude. We are men, and we are proud of it. None of that metro-sexual crap around here. We are also about women. Real women, whom we affectionately refer to as T-Vixens. Strong women with attitude who like real men.

If this sounds like the place for you, come on in and join our group. It is free after all.

But if this idea scares you, or even offended, then go the fuck away. We are not here to coddle you, or accept your excuses. Go to Jenny Craig, or join that codependent fat acceptance group instead.

All the rest… follow me.

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
TC wrote:
…Second place and beyond get a hearty handshake, …

Who is giving the handjob?[/quote]

Kate Bekinsdale in a latex glove

All I need is one life, one try, one breath
I’m one man
What I stand for speaks for itself, They don’t understand
Or wanna see me on top, too egotistical
Talkin all that slick shit, the same way these bitches do
Wonder what my secrets is…

All I need is one mic

-Nas

If this were yesterday, back when I walked across the college campus feeling life, feeling the people, determining my own way, my day would be filled with poetry. I wrote all day long. Songs walked through my mind, danced awhile, and then gnawed at me until I let them out.

It was like an itch you had to scratch, some long over-scabbed wound that just wanted to bleed a little more. So, I let it bleed…right onto paper, into musical keyboards, and into a four track digital recorder. That was how days passed…feeling the itch and letting it bleed. It was satisfying. Wounds weep and here comes the bass line.

Regardless of how hard I try to fight it, or how much I try to ignore it, the reality is that all things eventually come to an end. The reality is also that somewhere between birth into a sterile hospital room and the inevitable decay of my form back into earth, there is a whole life that needs to be lived. My one fear is that I won’t live it well enough. It’s starting to itch.

I think somewhere in between World War II and Vietnam, men in society began to lose their grip…maybe even their sanity. Fathers left their emotions, and often their families. Sons grew up without guidance and the world began to eat away at whatever fire used to make them all strong. The next generation was a little weaker.

The following became a 2 dimensional facade of a man with no old courage to pull from. The wisemen of the tribe died a long time ago. Our last hope is that DNA is more persistent than Oprah. It’s starting to bleed.

I think mentioning the name of this website in this passage is cheesy as hell. The truth is, the wound is deep and this is the one place I can pour it into. Every moment of energy or weakness, loss or orgasm, love or scientific investigation can be left on screen. This is my old textbook with the lyrics written in the corner. This is my clubhouse. This is my microphone.

In the end, I wonder whether the soldiers will become extinct. The men who can as easily write the history books as they can live through them seem to be lesser in number today. They are the men that notice there even is a problem and will die doing something about it. That is what this place stood for. That is why I keep coming back.

Maybe they’ll fight and take it all back, or maybe they will forget what they were fighting for. Either way, I have my fingers on the keyboard…because that wound never heals.

Professor X
For T-Nation.com

Many a web-surfer has, by pure happenstance, come across T-Nation.com during a boredom-induced exploration of Google. Upon opening the home page, they witness pictures of scantily-clad women, discussions on drugs, and weight-lifting articles; obviously, this is a dungeon for meat-heads and drug addicts.

Luckily for us, they scramble for the “close” button the moment they hear TC rant once again about the exploits of his raging, volatile phallus. Soccer moms cower in fear, metrosexuals gape in confusion, and 13-year-old boys frantically search though the “Powerful Image” archives.

They just don’t get it.

Beyond the debauchery and fitness advice lies a complex underworld that most people are incapable of understanding. They have become so accustomed to viewing iron as a tool of the vain and muscle as a sign of arrogance, that they completely miss the beauty of what it can truly be; Testosterone Nation’s disciples lift to improve themselves, for themselves.

Sure, having huge biceps helps pick up chicks, but it is not the primary goal. Personal strength, both physical and spiritual, is the objective. Athletic Endeavors are not treated not as a get-chicks-quick plan or as a way of impressing others, but as a means to test the mettle of the competitor’s soul. It is a religion for those that can comprehend it, and therapy for those that have been unable to find it elsewhere.

It is a Bullshit-Free zone; in an industry where myths are espoused as fact and profit is placed before quality, T-Nation stands above them all. The contributors are among the greatest in the world, and free-thinking is rampant where most refuse to think outside the norm. It is a place where two coaches can completely disagree about a subject, yet both retain their dignity and discuss the issue intelligently in order to allow the reader to make a decision.

Instead of adopting a dogma about training styles, it is an open forum of ideas. This ultimately provides the reader with more information than could be found from any other athletic training source in the world.

However, to discuss T-Nation based solely on how we approach weight-lifting would be narrow-sighted. It has evolved beyond a site where you can learn to lift weights. Its attitude has attracted a unique crowd, one that is overlooked in just about every aspect of society; what TC has dubbed the “virtuous badboy”. Testosterone Nation has become a place where men can be men, where Testosterone-motivated actions are encouraged.

What is accepted is not macho posturing, but unwavering, quiet confidence; not arrogance, but boldness; not disrespect of women, but the strength to respect them (even if we really, really want to see them nekid). It is the home of renaissance men, a place where one is constantly humbled; where doctors bench 300 pounds and powerlifters discuss philosophy.

What began as a bodybuilding magazine has transformed into a beacon of idealistic masculinity; it has truly become the Testosterone Nation.

I sit here looking at my training log, looking at the countless reps, the countless poundage?s that I?ve lifted, the first double bodyweight deadlift, the first bodyweight bench press, the 20 rep front squats that made me wince in pain.

Pain is good for us, we aren?t part of the real normal world we are men trying to push the envelope in our lives. The pain of eating cottage cheese, of sore legs after squats, of that last rep in whatever, it all makes us better, stronger, and faster than we were before. That is what we are trying to do, to become better than the normal world wants us to be, to escape the soul-destroying glee of mediocrity.

I?m a student of Physics and Philosophy at a top college in England, I?ve chosen an unusual path in life, like most of us have done here, we strive, to work ourselves towards something better. We become more confident, more vibrant men thanks to this lifestyle, and most importantly we enjoy life more. We chose to live, rather than to exist as most people on this little rock do. Some of us go travelling the world, some of us go after that girl, and some of us leave our unsatisfying goals and go write, or take our chance in the sport that we feel we belong to.

This is a place to help us make the journey in life all that more satisfying, and my brain, my soul and most importantly my balls are proud to be here. Live long this community, you helped turn this guy from a 16 year old pathetic piece of cookie dough, to a rugby playing scholar who helps carve the world around him into a better place. Gentlemen and Ladies of this think tank, use your knowledge and your passion to carve this world around you, please always leave it better than it was before.

CARVE! Your Bodies, Your Mind, Your World.

How would I define T-Nation? People seem to relate to parables pretty well, so I will attempt to describe T-Nation in a parable. Without further ado…

    Once upon a time, a Normal person named John Doe lived in the Land of Average.  John ate and drank, he accumulated wealth, and he tried to have fun whenever he could.  Some Normal people in the Land of Average didn't have it quite as good as John, others had it better, but even still they unintentionally sought the same thing as Adam did: mediocrity.

     Most Normal people seemed relatively content with their lives.  Nevertheless, sometimes John wondered if there might be more to life than what the Land of Average had to offer.  Time passed.  One day John heard these words ringing in his mind: "Something is wrong".

      Could it be true?  John pondered it over the coming weeks and months.  Slowly but surely, he realized the problem: he was a Normal person living in the Land of Average.  Many Normal people in the Land of Average don't ever come to realize that being a Normal person is a problem.

     Thus, in the weeks and months following John's enlightenment, he grew increasingly discontent with where he was.  The discontent grew until John finally made up his mind that he had to find the Land of Excellence.  He made a commitment to get there.

     As John walked along on his journey in search of the Land of Excellence, he came to a place called Hard Work Land.  Hard Work Land has giant, hairy creatures in it called Obstacles.  Obstacles are creatures that simply attempt to separate a person from the Land of Excellence.  They test a person's commitment.

    John felt entirely inadequate to even confront the Obstacles, much less get past them.  The Obstacles snarled and snapped their teeth at John.  He began to have a strong desire to run back toward the Land of Average.  But his commitment was real, so he fought the Obstacles.  He slaughtered them one by one until he reached a place where the terrain began to rise drastcially.

  Mount Dedication towers above the landscape on the far side of Hard Work Land, separating  Normal people from the Land of Excellence.  John sat on a rock half way up Mount Dedication with sweat dripping off his forehead.  The closer to the top one gets, the more cliffs one encounters.  Yet the Land of Average was now repulsive to John after naviagting his way through Hard Work Land, so he continued to push on.


 The Valley of Strength lies on the other side of Mount Dedication, far from the Land of Average.  Getting there takes immense personal sacrifice.  Once one reaches the Valley of Strength, the Land of Excellence becomes within sight.

    John scanned the horizon, and his heart filled with anticipation.  The Valley was beautiful, but dangerous.  The same species of big, hairy creatures that roamed Hard Work Land also grazed in the Valley of Strength: Obstacles.  A pack of hungry, ferocious Obstacles surrounded John.

     Strangely enough, though, John felt a sense of peace.  He wasn't the same man in the Valley as he was back in Hard Work Land.  Something inside of John changed when he went up and over Mount Dedication.  John had found power in him that he never knew existed before.

     John soon reached the gates of the Land of Excellence and bought a home in the city of Testosterone.  Testosterone?or T-Nation as some call it?is a group of citizens who formerly lived in the Land of Average.  Some came from the city of Laziness, others from the city of Fear, and many from the giant metropolis of Passiveness.  They all have one thing in common: they grew sick of the place they were living in and decided to live their lives in a much better place.

The ENd