T Nation

Testosterone is Dying: A Rant

A Rant

When I logged on to the internet today, I saw a link on my homepage that instantly drained the blood from my face. It shows an asexual being that they claim is a man applying eyeliner to his lashes. Eyeliner. The caption reads “More men are using make-up everyday.” After cleaning the vomit from my keyboard, I resolved that I had to do something about this. But what?

I started with reading the article. I was holding out some small hope that the headline was misleading. Maybe it was referring to the powdery white sheen from the chalk on a strongman’s hands, or the rosy red that a fighter’s cheeks get when he rubs the blood from his nose across his face. I should have known better. No, apparently more and more men are using concealer. Eyeliner. Fucking lip gloss.

(For the offending article, check out this link, but be warned: Every time they use the word “macho” a baby dies somewhere

http://men.msn.com/articlefb.aspx?cp-documentid=4688324>1=10115 )

Did I miss the boat here? Did we decide in mass to throw every ounce of masculinity out the window? Are we spitting in the face of every woman who ever thought that older men- ya’ know, the ones with the wrinkles and crow’s feet- looked dignified?

Did we all get together at some pan-tribal meeting and say “Hey! There doesn’t need to be any distinction between the sexes! Let’s put on some rouge and all run out for a pap smear!”

Maybe I’m weird. I actually like the fact that men and woman are different. I like that women are pretty to look at and men aren’t. I like that women smell good and men don’t. And I especially like the fact that women use synthetic paints to highlight their particularly feminine sex markers so as to increase their desirability. I’m a goob like that.

What I don’t like is when men- normal, heterosexual men- start to become women. Isn’t it enough that so many of our sex are whiny? Wasn’t it pushed far enough when men started looking at pictures of Kate Moss and thinking “I bet my ribs could look that good?”

See, when women wear make-up it’s feminine. Whether they apply it so thin that you can’t tell it’s there, or layer it on with an industrial paint sprayer, it’s a part of female culture, and culture is an important thing. We men used to have a culture.

But instead of respecting our own culture we feel the need to co-opt women’s culture. Women have a great culture. But it’s theirs. I think its unfair for men to take women’s culture from them. I really do.

What’s next? Do we burn our jock straps? (I hope not- the fumes could be considered weapons of mass destruction).

This is also a signal that narcissism is creeping to an all time high. This “male make-up” thing is just another symptom. I actually know a guy who has several pictures of his abs on his Facebook page. Not full body pictures that are shirtless- just his fucking abs.

This guy also compares himself to Marlon Brando on the page, though, so what do you expect? I know another guy who paints his goddamned fingernails. And not only does he paint them, he meticulously takes a nail file to them to create the “scuffed” look that he finds oh-so-cool. Fucktards.

And the height of narcissism? Me thinking that all of you want to come onto this forum and read my ranting.

What happened to strong, assertive men? Men that accomplished things, men that did what they had to do without caring what other people thought of them? The list of these men of yore is exhaustive- Julius Caesar, George Washington, Martin Luther King Jr, and David Bowie, just to name a few.

What?!?! But David Bowie was completely adrogynous! He even wore make-up for Crissakes! Yes, but he didn’t do it because he cared what other people thought of him. He did it because he didn’t give a tinker’s cuss! And there in lies all the difference.

(What is a “tinker’s cuss,” anyway?)

And I haven’t even had a good workout partner since 2005! The last good partner I had was George Milton, who was just as crazy and hardcore as I am. Every other guy I run into always says “Hey, let’s work out together.” Then I tell them the type of intense workouts that I would like to do.

Beads of sweat roll down their faces. Their eyes dart back and forth. Their lips quiver. They proceed to stare at me like cows chewing cud and say something like “Oh. I thought we might hop on a stationary bike and then do some Pilates.” Argh! (That’s a manly Pirate’s “Argh” by the way, and not a Charlie Brown “Argh”)

And I’ve got news for you! Dancers’ bodies don’t look the way they do because they do Pilates in addition to dancing 4 hours a day. They look they way they do because they dance 4 hours a day!

Sorry. Got sidetracked there.

So here’s my solution. If a man you know wants to dress nice, encourage him. If he wants to get a good haircut, help him find a salon. If he wants to look good naked, tell him that you think that would be great. But if you ever see with make-up on, tell him that he’ll never need to worry about eye shadow- then punch him in the goddamned face.

Those black eyes will go nicely with that shade of lip gloss.

Fenris,

A very well written and entertaining rant. Well done!

I think you sum up the feelings of just about every guy(and girl)on this site and about 80% of the general populous. I personally don’t give a shit what is cool these days, nor should anyone else.

I get nothing with the link.

Repost of mine…

This young guy (21) is working @ my place of business as an intern. They are allowed to dress casually. So he comes in yesterday wearing flip flops and …pants rolled to mid calf like capri pants!

So i say to him “dude, your wearing capri pants?”

He says no, guys wear these…

“Capri pants???”

“no i got these @ j crew”

“i dont care where you got them, they are womens pants!”

WTH!?!?!?

If j crew starts selling lacy bra’s for men will guys start wearing those too???

This kid isnt gay, but …

Whatever happened to Masculinity???

I wont be able to make this sound as funny as you did nor do I have a great story but…

This all started for me when a friend of mine took a 4" grinder (like the one I used to make my Farmers Walk bars) to his $150.00 steel toe boots to make them look “worn in”.

Gee, I just figured they’d look like that after you changed a few tires on your knees in your driveway. What do I know?

Oh and another thing I worte about in another thread…

My brother-in-law turned down a free steak-on-the-grill dinner at my house to go get his fucking EYEBROWS waxed. (true story).

Nice rant!

Look, I have got nothing against feminism, but what does it say when women not just want to have the right to engage in activities and careers historically occupied by men (that’s fine in my opinion, but want to imitate men? It means that they devalue their womanhood.

Look, I agree with some post-modernists about how identities are culturally determined, BUT ONLY TO UP TO A CERTAIN POINT. I do believe there is something essentially feminine and something essentially masculine.

Now, it would appear that not only has the feminine been devalued but also the masculine. It’s very upside-down. It’s ok for women to act masculine, but not for men…they have to act increasingly feminine.

If a man acts feminine that is somehow interpreted to mean that he accepts the feminine. What a crock! Aping something does not mean that you appreciate it. It means that you lack the inner-security to be yourself. You have not found your center and are blindly following some fad, hoping to impress somebody and gain acceptance.

Good rant and funny, too!

My own opinion is that there is something very attractive about a man with a ‘seasoned’ face. Meaning lines here or there, a little stubble.

I’ll just go out on a limb and blame it on the soy.

Regards,

Felicia

Why are you so offended by this? Who says masculinity is judged just by appearence?

The Stones wore eyeliner 40 years ago, it didn’t seem to stop them being complete alpha males and bedding supermodels.

These dudes look like men, and i bet they never wore eyeliner…

http://youtube.com/v/AC5BIuhQBy0

Great rant…

[quote]Fenris wrote:
Maybe I’m weird. I actually like the fact that men and woman are different. I like that women are pretty to look at and men aren’t. I like that women smell good and men don’t. And I especially like the fact that women use synthetic paints to highlight their particularly feminine sex markers so as to increase their desirability. I’m a goob like that.
[/quote]

Women Like it too. But they’d never admit to it. Feminism can suck my nuts.

Good post.

[quote]legend wrote:
Why are you so offended by this? Who says masculinity is judged just by appearence?

The Stones wore eyeliner 40 years ago, it didn’t seem to stop them being complete alpha males and bedding supermodels.

[/quote]

If a guy had eyeliner put on him in his sleep, there’s no problem, he’s not feminine. There IS a problem with someone who even considers wearing makeup on his own. That is a feminie trait period.

[quote]derek wrote:
If a guy had eyeliner put on him in his sleep, there’s no problem, he’s not feminine. There IS a problem with someone who even considers wearing makeup on his own. That is a feminie trait period.
[/quote]

I don’t know about the “period” aspect to that.

Over time there have been a lot of decorative customs. Tats, piercings, clothes and so forth have all adjusted over time.

In nature, it is often the male that will develop attractive plumage in order to be desirable in finding a mate.

However, in today’s day and age, I do have to agree and say that a lot of men don’t seem to know what masculinity is. Fine by me, it just makes real examples of masculinity more visible.

Great rant. My sentiments exactly.

BTW, you didn’t mention men shaving their body hair, but I’ll mention that I can even go along with that, but make-up and nail polish and capri-pants and certain types of slip-on canvas shoes are just too much.

I was iffy on the body hair till I saw a guy in Hot Springs AK wearing a tank-top, with shoulder and back hair about 4 inches long, and pit hair about 6 inches long, hanging out all over. Then I became convinced that, while I still don’t like the idea of shaving it down completely like a woman, keeping it trimmed was a good idea. That stuff was just nasty, and needed to go.

For awhile, men lost their sense of style. The 70’s (especially leisure suits) have a lot to answer for that. So men reverted to a grungy look in preference to a dorky look. But what happened to the classic masculine look? You can be dressed sharply, indulge your sense of style, and retain your masculinity. Our dads and granddads knew how.

I was born in '56, and grew up in Essex and Bergen counties in New Jersey, right across the Hudson river from NYC. I remember real men’s men wearing well-tailored suits, stylish ties, highly-polished shoes, cuff-links, and fedora hats, with a pocket square - every day. Real men wear their plumage around their necks, and don’t have to look like bums, thugs, wanna-be pro athletes or slobs to look masculine. Check out Cary Grant, Sinatra, Bogart

And about your “tinker’s cuss”, that’s somebody’s adaptation of “tinker’s dam”, and whoever invented it betrays a lack of knowledge about the original expression. Check out the link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_worth_a_tinker’s_dam

birth control pills doesnt break down when it’s “urinated” from the body, it goes into the system. and into the drinking water. there is also estrogen inducing (?) substances in alot of the food one buy.

read that a scientist predicted that men would be sterile in not so many years because of the decreasing testosterone.

gentlemen, it seems we are fucked.

[quote]derek wrote:
If a guy had eyeliner put on him in his sleep, there’s no problem, he’s not feminine. There IS a problem with someone who even considers wearing makeup on his own. That is a feminie trait period.
[/quote]

Meanwhile, coating yourself with self-tanning lotion and oil, stuffing your junk into a banana hammock and walking around on a stage so people can admire your body is totally masculine :slight_smile:

I don’t wear makeup but don’t see it as inherently feminine. Three hundred years ago, men wore powdered wigs and knee-high socks, yeah? Samurai wore rouge in formal situations, native African and American tribes decorated themselves with face and body paint, etc. Culture is funny shit - give it another hundred years and we’ll all be dyeing our pubes purple and bragging about how it accentuates our manliness.

[quote]vermilion wrote:
give it another hundred years and we’ll all be dyeing our pubes purple and bragging about how it accentuates our manliness.

[/quote]

You might, I’ll be sitting my 125 year old decrepit ass in my rocking chair on my front porch, drinking whiskey, smoking a cigar, wearing flannel, and yelling at you purple pubed freaks to get the fuck off my lawn!

[quote]SteinJorgen wrote:
birth control pills doesnt break down when it’s “urinated” from the body, it goes into the system. and into the drinking water. there is also estrogen inducing (?) substances in alot of the food one buy.

read that a scientist predicted that men would be sterile in not so many years because of the decreasing testosterone.

gentlemen, it seems we are fucked.[/quote]

It’s about population control.

I concurr

[quote]vermilion wrote:
derek wrote:
If a guy had eyeliner put on him in his sleep, there’s no problem, he’s not feminine. There IS a problem with someone who even considers wearing makeup on his own. That is a feminie trait period.

Meanwhile, coating yourself with self-tanning lotion and oil, stuffing your junk into a banana hammock and walking around on a stage so people can admire your body is totally masculine :slight_smile:

I don’t wear makeup but don’t see it as inherently feminine. Three hundred years ago, men wore powdered wigs and knee-high socks, yeah? Samurai wore rouge in formal situations, native African and American tribes decorated themselves with face and body paint, etc. Culture is funny shit - give it another hundred years and we’ll all be dyeing our pubes purple and bragging about how it accentuates our manliness.

[/quote]

Yes, there is something inherently feminine in “posedowns” with 5 other oiled up, overly tanned men. Sorry to break it to all the bodybuilders out there. Not saying anything about thier sexual preference at all but it smacks of femininity or just fucking odd- at least in the human kingdom.

Enough of the “three hundred years ago” stuff too. I’m living in 2007 and guys wearing makeup is feminie PERIOD. (there, I capitalized “period” so Vroom understands it better.)

Edit; I understand there are plenty of competitive bodybuilders here on T-Nation. They bust thier asses training and dieting etc. I applaud that wholeheartedly (as if they even care what I think anyway) and I’m sure they have more guts than I do to do what they do.

I never “got” the whole posing in bikini briefs thing, oiled up and tanned but to each his own. I don’t like to disrespect a whole segment of our hard-training population.

Make-up is a whole “nother” story!