T Nation

Testing Your Steroids


Hello all, this is my first post, woo hoo!!

Okay, anyways, I just started working out. I was 118 at 5'8 about 6 weeks ago. I started drinking 2-3 beers a night and eating fish sticks. I was playing with my gut and feeling fat, I do have a fat patch/utter for my skinnyness, so I decided to see how much I weighed.

I was at a shocking 126lbs which was amazing seeing as how for the past 30-some years I was 116 average no matter what I ate. I decided to get back on my 2000 calorie drink mix, eat all I could stomach, drink beer and work out useing the Russian Bear meathod with some fillers here and there.

I am now, according to my works health scale, 138!! Wow, I am stoked! The first workout I did, I could not walk and it took a week to recover. Now, I can work hard and be 2 days off a body part. In fact, as of last workout, I could a full body workout and still be ready to go.

I just dont have enough time to exhaust by whole body in one hour, I am that adapted already. I have started to use Surge this week and think this will make me have to change my Russian Bear workout to a "workout of one body part everyday using the 5 reps to bad form and stop theory".

After this, I want to change into a more exhaustive but thurough workout, something that will work both fast and slow twich fibers.

Then, I want the "GEAR" because its all balls to the wall after that!! Thing is, gear is not sold at reputable CVS and I definatly want to try to avoid shoving some nasy oil crap thats gonna give me some nasy death, or worse, rot off one of my hard earned ass cheeks. Yes, I finally have as ass!!!

Is there anything I can get to test if XXX gear is legit? Like they do when they check on COPS for meth and such?? I dont think there is, but, I am pretty adamit about finding some gear, I just dont know what the hell it looks like, smells like and taste like. I figure that I can do the dirty work and get the gear but something legit to test it with would be cool.


Guys, he seems very enthusiastic, which is cool. Go easy on him.


Hell yea!! I have been on here since the VERY beginning, but never gained anyhting no matter what I tried, for one reason or another. Now, you could pat me on the back 6 weeks ago and slam on bone. Now, I can pat all around back there and my bones are surrounded by muscle. I can pat myself all over my back and hit mounds of muscle.

Every day I go to the gym and weigh myself, I gain 1/2lb. What ever it is, fat, shit or muscle (I am sure its all the above) I have seen it go up with the same scale with my own eyes.

It almost seems like I AM on roids!! But, please do note that the roids will be a one time thing. I only want to do one cylcle and then I am done. I dont plan on doing this until my upward weight gain stops, which means I have stopped putting on muscle, shit and whatever else. That is when I will blow out the weights and my body....with some help.

I am 40years old and I dont have the time in my life to gain like a 22 year old arnold did through many years. I dont want to be old and gray either when I reach my goal, which is 160lbs, fat, muscle and or including shit, but, hopefully more muscle.

Hell, if it kills me, at least I will die happy and heavy.

 Shit man do you sit down on the toilet to take a piss? LOL!  Just kidding bro! Good luck on your quest man!

Get swole ,


Not going to flame but....if your ever only gonna do 1 cycle save yourself the money and go to the gocery store instead and buy:
Steak, Roast w/ Lots of fat, chicken Eggs,Whole Milk,Wheat Bread, Ice Cream Olive oil, Natty PB,Salmon, Rice and Pasta and some greens. Cook the shit up every Sunday for the week, eat 6 meals a day and lift your ass off you'll be 160 in no time w/o gear.


Hah ha, thats funny and I am not even sure which sentence your targeting, lol. Thanks

I dont know what stack I am going to do. I dont even know IF I am going to do a cycle. I am just thinking a long way own the road if and when I stall.

Like I said in my post, my genetics are really really bad and I would be surprised to see me get to 140 or even 150. Since 160 is my goal, we will see. If I can get there without it, thats all for me, but, at this stage in my life (age wise), I am not sheepish about getting that extra push if needed.

Not knowing a whole lot and just looking into it, I like the 4 week on/off d-bol, but hey, as of now I am just pressing my nose against the store glass window looking.


I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Out of curiousity, what is your age?

Bro, the bad genetics excuse is honestly one of the worst you can possibly use. EAT, SLEEP, TRAIN - thats it, thats all you need. And when I say eat, I mean if you feel like you might throw up from eating too much, eat some more.

And dude ditch the beer


Sweet Jesus man!


Yea, you think you threw up in your mouth now? I am getting pics ready for all the nay sayers about my genetics. My legs are okay, my arms are okay, but it is the ribcage area that is horrible. I just wrapped a tape measure around my breasts nipple high and there 35". Around the rib cage just below my breasts and it is 32". The widest part of my ribcage going downward is 33". The middle of my chest is sunken in, in the middle about 1.5". My father and my fathers father was the same way 130lbs to death. Unless I can somehow expand my ribcage, I will be crushing my lungs and heart as there is no room in there. Even if I get to 160, I dont see how my heart and lungs can handle it.

Never the less, at my age of 39, I am going for the gold anyways.


So you have weighed 116 lbs since you were 9 years old? You were a huge third grade kid what happened?


Long story but basically my parents split at that age and being poor living in the ghetto, learning to not eat (yea, cant wait till you all get a hold of me on that one), and playing all the time till bed, me became skinny lad. It was not until I reached the age of 18 when I graduated, got a job and fed myself I was getting good food. Since then, no matter what I ate, I never gained. I was ALWAYS bombared with "how can you eat so much and be so skinny????".

Maybe my body adapted, I dont know???


This post is exactly what my Friday needs.


The spaz is strong in this one....

Are you related to Original Demon?


Weird... why don't you post what a typical day of eating looks like on here before you try steroids? I have a hard time believing that you can't gain weight... I imagine its more with the type of calories and lack of calories you're eating. I'm not bashing here, I'm just pointing out what I think your problem might be.

You've done alot of bashing back and forth but haven't posted anything other than you eat fish sticks and drink beer...


Have you been checked by a doctor for hyper-thyroidism for your wieght gain problem and your "sunken chest" sounds like Pectus Excavatum a congenital defect with ribs and sternum development starting at @ age 16 as for the rest I gotta go with everyone else here 6-7 quality meals 1.5 - 2gr protien,good fats,good carbs and LIFT!Really no sense in looking to do one cycle!

 I agree with hot azz.Give us an idea of your typical diet and we will try to give you some kind of structure to work with.  A positive attitude like yours equals good results..... if you stick with it bro!



I have been to the docs but they keep blowing me off so I gave up. Something to the fact "eat more" not that they knew anything about me more than you guys (but I am sure a lot of eating could help), and I swear I did eat. maybe it was not the right combinations, but, I did eat.

I am afraid I do have that pectus crapola, because I can see everything else has a good base, my chest make me look skinny as sheyat.

As for food, I was afraid someone was gonna ask me that. I have been doing good on keeping a workout log, but, not calorie log.

I have a protein drink in the morning, about a lb of fruit, eat a bannana just before workout, then go work out, have a serving of Surge, a ice cream scoop and a half of tuna or roast beef with pasta or rice (whatever I can get my hands on), a snack of something and then I get home and have a beer and 10 fishsticks and right before bed another 12-16 ounces of protein shakes.

I know I do need to work on my eating log, but, whatever I am eating, I have gained 20lbs in 4 weeks. I am up 2lbs in 2 days. Not sure what from but I have never seen this weight on me, ever and I am gaining weight in what seems a creepy way now, but I like it.

I have a feeling what I am gaining is fat and crap, litteraly. Thats okay as long as I make it to 140. My old goal was to get to 135 and never made it, but, if I am gaining, I am upping my old goal to 140 of whatever. Once I hit this mark, I am going to start watching my fat and carb intake and sway towards lean protien foods. I will watch my weight for a week or two and see what happens from there. Of course, that means I will have to watch what I eat and maybe that will give me an excuse to start my food log.

"scotiscool" offered this to me, thanks guy :
"After reading what you eat in a typical day I decided to see how much that added up to. You are probably taking in around 2500 calories a day. Give your weight and assumed body fat level of around 12%(correct me if way off) the calculations for Massive Eating dictate that you consume around 3500 calories. If you make up those calories in lean meats, healthy fats, and good carbs you should be satisfied with the results. Give that a shot for a few weeks, and give the fish sticks and beer a rest. "


Stop drinking beer.

Start eating more good food.

Follow a good exercise plan.

Don't do steroids.

Instead, if you absolutely need to give yout T-level a boost, try the Alpha Male:


Stick to the plan for at least several months if not at least a year.

That should be enough to generate visible results, barring Acts of God or stuff like that.

Sorry to hear about your early life issues. I don't have a large ribcage either, but it's an issue only with cardio, not with power training.