T Nation

Terror Diet, but Dragging My Scrawny Ass to the Gym Anyways...

Hey this is SANIK, I am starting to fuck up again and its been about 4weeks since I have been in the gym besides yesterday. I am skinny and and my left arm since I fell off a bike acts kind weird and It didnt get it checked out at the hospital, it kind of pushes itself out at the elbow a little more then its supposed to and feels a lot more weak then my right arm. None the less I am pushing it to work.

I have a TERRIBLE DIET which includes greasy food, whatever I can get my hands on, Coffee, Granola Bars, Pizza, Hot Dogs, Spaghetti, Cocacola, Water, A lot of cheese, donuts, bacon, eggs, coffee without eating, a lot of pizza, peanut butter straight from the can with my hands, I eat out a lot and dont have any money to blow and I am kind of fucked up and dont spend my money properally, I smoke occasionally out of long time habit but I never finish the cigarette I always put them out. I have two cuban cigars right now in my closet I dont know what I am going to do with them now. I also buy a lot of cheap hamburgers for about 2$ sometimes I go to McDonalds or wherever I have to go to eat.

Anyways I know how horrible it is and I can feel my clogged arteries but I am just about leave right now to drink some water and go push my dead body through as much as I can stomach for today which may not exceed 60lbs on most of the weights. Either way I always feel neurologically refreshed after the work out and that feels good and makes me smile and laugh after so I go and do it anyways. I am in control of myself except I am pretty fucked up and retarded and kind of stay in my bed all day because I dont have a lot of friends anymore. Anyways its all part of fucking up and learning from your mistakes and getting through the days.


I am leaving right now, I deserve whatever I get from you guys.


Any advice we can give you is not worth much in comparison to what you actually just get off your ass and accomplish. You know what to do. Please feel free to use this thread as a motivational tool and to post your successes, but realize that no one can tell you anything that is going to change your poor habits. Show some gumption or nobody is going to care. Routinely posting and perhaps posting pics is especially helpful and would show us you’re not too lazy for us to bother helping.


Ugh I cant believe how weak I am, this is unacceptable if I continue to eat this way by the time I am fifty I wont have a body worth living inside of. I have come so far from where I have began all I have to do now is concentrate which has been such a great challenge for me, I have a 101 excuses and no one to blame but myself. I have gotten myself to this state, to this place in life now. I have made all of these decisions it feels so much like If I dont try my hardest that there will be no plan B that ill die of my own devices. I dont want anyone here to be more to me then another member of this forum and I expect nothing, not sympathy, just indifference.

I must carry my own weight.