T Nation

Talking to Your Kids About AAS

So this is something I’ve been thinking about lately, and I’d appreciate some feedback from all you guys. Me and the wife just got back from the ultrasound today (this is baby number 5 for us, by the way), and we were doing the usual question/answer routine with all the kids afterwards.

But the questions are getting more complicated as they get older (the two oldest are 12 and 11, then 9 and 2), and I’m expecting “Dad, have you ever taken steroids?” someday in the next couple of years now that highschool is around the corner.

We’re pretty up-front and honest with our kids about most everything, and we try to give them enough information at home to compensate for their school “education”. But, at the same time I don’t want to open that can of worms before they’re mature enough to talk about it (and not tell all their friends that their Dad is on “the juice”), however I don’t want to be a hypocrite with my kids.

My wife and I don’t drink, drug, or smoke, so we ‘walk the talk’ when it comes to that stuff, BUT I do use AAS… At what age do you think it would be ok to talk to your kids about responsible AAS use?

Thanks,
Jelly

My kids know exactly what I am doing. Maybe not wht cycle I am on, but they know I take AAS.

I try not to keep secrets.

[quote]rainjack wrote:
My kids know exactly what I am doing. Maybe not wht cycle I am on, but they know I take AAS.

I try not to keep secrets. [/quote]

How old are they?

Some guy was posting on here a while back because he had said something to his kid about steroids (actually he was referring to his supplements in a joking manner, but he was taking AAS as well). His kid said something to his friend, who said something to his parents, and these nosey fuckers called child protective services on the guy. They required him to take a drug test and I guess if he failed having his kids taken away from him was going to become a very real possibility. Terrible, ridiculous world, but it highlights the fact that you have to tread very, very lightly.

That said, I think being honest with kids is the best way to insure that they make responsible decisions and I think if you are up front with your kids they will usually take care of you. My dad is a cop and we grew up in very, very rural south Texas and we have had guns in the house from the time I was a baby. My dad took my shooting and hunting when I was as young as I remember having memories, and because he always treated me like an adult in these situations, I have always, even when I was very young, respected guns and never “played” with them. I also “knew” a lot of things that other, more ignorant people didn’t about guns. I think the same applies in this case to AAS. If you are honest, and your kids know that it is a very serious subject, they will respect you for your honesty and take care of you.

Good post, JR.

I would be careful. RJ’s kids may be mature enough to not flaunt his use, but you need to be very careful. JR, since you have young children, you may want to take Cortes’ story into consideration. You do not want to jeopardize the custody of your kids by just trying to be straightforward with them. At the same time, I think it would be great to tell your kids, and to properly educate them on the truths about AAS.

I think there are a lot of good posts on here, this may just be my opinion, but it is indeed important to remind them of what people on here do, as well as the realities. We all know that the media/government distort and overstate the dangers of AAS. But, at the same time, I am hard pressed for anyone to honestly say that steroids are good for someone, unless they truly need it. The only way I can see steroids/HGH being good for someone is if very low doses are used, and these persons are into the late third or fourth decade of there life.

At that point, low doses of Test and HGH can be and actually are healthy for men, can lower blood pressure, increase energy, libido, skin elasticity, improve blood lipid profiles. So, it is a delicate line. Discussing the ‘responsible use’ of steroid cycling is all good and well, but it can lead these children to experiment very well before it is even safe for them. Take a 16 year old boy, who’s father tells him he has been using AAS on and off since he was 30. Who is to say what happens, once that box is open there are myriad outcomes…

I obviously don’t have kids…I’m only 18…but that allows me to give you a view from the other side of situation.

I will admit that I have been guilty of using something mommy or daddy did as an excuse to go ahead with my own wrongdoing. If dad cheats on mom…then its ok for Junior to cheat on girls.

Your kids may be very responsible, but all in all, kids are kids. Obviously I’m growing up and try not act like that now, but when I was 14 or 15…I would have been both a blabber mouth and a follower of whatever my dad was up to.

I can name 2 high school friends who started getting into heavy drug use and used the fact that they found out their dads smoked weed as an excuse.

Just consider all the outcomes.

Although I prefer the honest approach, I don’t even tell my wife. Any of you see the Chris Rock bit on “What not to do when stopped by the police?” The part about the pissed off girlfriend? I don’t like sharing anything that may be used against me when someone is angry. Things are said and done in anger that would never normally happen.

As far as kids, I have a 14 year old who also exercises, although not consistently. His diet is bad, and he, like many 14 year olds, looks for the easiest way out. I don’t see anything positive coming from sharing that information with him. And I don’t feel hypocritical about that at all, since I was 38 when I started my first cycle. If the topic were to come up, I’ll educate him, so he can make a sound decision. But, some things are just none of my kid’s business. I don’t discuss my finances and other issues with my kids, unless it has some relevance to them. And I don’t see how AAS use fits in that category.

[quote]Cortes wrote:
rainjack wrote:
My kids know exactly what I am doing. Maybe not wht cycle I am on, but they know I take AAS.

I try not to keep secrets.

How old are they?
[/quote]

My daughter is 13 and my son is 16. They have known for 3 years. We talk about AAS usage, and the hell that will come down on either of them if I catch them using while still under my roof, or take AAS to gain an advantage.

We talk about what they do, why I take them, and the legal fallout if it were to get out into the public that I use.

I think that there are enough people out there who think protein shakes and creatine are steroids - thankfully my kids are not among them.

That’s good that your children can handle it so maturely, RJ. I also have to agree with you that there are too many people who think training with creatine lobs you into the same category as an AAS user.

Jelly,

I think being a father also, I would disclose the info to them at a much later date. Kids will talk specially if dad is huge. So keep the AAS stuff to yourself untill they reach a level that they understand all factors. If they ask what the injections are. Tell them its medicine. For now its all they need to know.

You don’t want a son(guessing you have one) on AAS before he is ready to take that step. Then you saying to him your not ready. He will just lauph at you. I know I would when I was a teen.

If the discussion of AAS comes up in the home just be sure to correct them when the subject comes up. Specially on the real side effects of these powerful substances. If they ask where you get your info from. Say you know people that are cycling AAS that are bodybuilders.

I have tried a few times to even just tell my wife by having a dialogue about the real benifits and dangers of them vs what the media says and they have all gone poorly. I am getting pretty close to just telling her “guess what? I’m on steroids and have been on and off for a few years now” I am pretty sure she knows and is just happy to pretend (she has never asked me if I do them). It would sure be a lot easier to not have to hide my shit and inject secretly. I trust her with my life so I am not worried about her ratting me out or anything but she just doesn’t understand and each time I try to explain it to her she changes the subject. If anyone has tips on how they discussed it with their significant other I would love to hear it.

so i am not sure how I would deal with telling my kids when that day comes cause I can pretty much guarantee that I am going to continue using.

maybe by then I will be a little better at explaining my use. maybe by then they will have more mainstream acceptance.

good thread btw

FG

[quote]dirtbag wrote:
Jelly,

I think being a father also, I would disclose the info to them at a much later date. Kids will talk specially if dad is huge. So keep the AAS stuff to yourself untill they reach a level that they understand all factors. If they ask what the injections are. Tell them its medicine. For now its all they need to know.

You don’t want a son(guessing you have one) on AAS before he is ready to take that step. Then you saying to him your not ready. He will just lauph at you. I know I would when I was a teen.

If the discussion of AAS comes up in the home just be sure to correct them when the subject comes up. Specially on the real side effects of these powerful substances. If they ask where you get your info from. Say you know people that are cycling AAS that are bodybuilders. [/quote]

I guess it depends on the kids. My kids are not like you were.

Maybe I am lucky, but my wife was right there with me when I was doing the research, and trying to figure out if AAS was something I could, or should do. She is still very supportive, and very pro-AAS.

Our house is too small to hide much of anything. I make my homebrew in the kitchen while everyone is home. If they are exposed to it as if it is just a part of life - there is usually no need to run to school and tell every one of their friends.

But like I said - my kids are different than you were. I know what I can tell them, and what I can’t.

My dad never told me shit. I am not going to be like that with my kids. They know how much we make, and how much debt we had to pay off to be debt free. They know their mother takes MTII injections as well.

Maybe I am just lucky.

[quote]rainjack wrote:
dirtbag wrote:
Jelly,

I think being a father also, I would disclose the info to them at a much later date. Kids will talk specially if dad is huge. So keep the AAS stuff to yourself untill they reach a level that they understand all factors. If they ask what the injections are. Tell them its medicine. For now its all they need to know.

You don’t want a son(guessing you have one) on AAS before he is ready to take that step. Then you saying to him your not ready. He will just lauph at you. I know I would when I was a teen.

If the discussion of AAS comes up in the home just be sure to correct them when the subject comes up. Specially on the real side effects of these powerful substances. If they ask where you get your info from. Say you know people that are cycling AAS that are bodybuilders.

I guess it depends on the kids. My kids are not like you were.

Maybe I am lucky, but my wife was right there with me when I was doing the research, and trying to figure out if AAS was something I could, or should do. She is still very supportive, and very pro-AAS.

Our house is too small to hide much of anything. I make my homebrew in the kitchen while everyone is home. If they are exposed to it as if it is just a part of life - there is usually no need to run to school and tell every one of their friends.

But like I said - my kids are different than you were. I know what I can tell them, and what I can’t.

My dad never told me shit. I am not going to be like that with my kids. They know how much we make, and how much debt we had to pay off to be debt free. They know their mother takes MTII injections as well.

Maybe I am just lucky. [/quote]

I think you are lucky. I was a badass kid. Well not really bad. I just never liked anyone telling me what I could do or not do. I had to find out for myself. So someone saying don’t smoke. Well guess what I found out. Don’t to rec drugs …i found out. Kids always like to rebel against authority. If dad says don’t drink and is a drinker well guess what …I was going to try it too. I was just strong willed and anything I could do that was risky I was doing it. Now I am the exact opposite. I found out the hardway. Hehe …Well we all have our our paths to choose.

I understand how some of you guys definatley want to keep it hidden from your children as some may not have the maturity or knowledge to understand the topic. However keeping it from your significant other I dont find right.
I was about a week into a cycle when I first met my fiance and put it all out on the table then. She knew absolutely nothing about AAS other than what she had heard through the media. After properlly educating her on the topic she had no issues with it at all.

Thanks for all the feedback so far guys, this is exactly the kind of discussion I was hoping for.

The consequences of our actions as parents are far-reaching, and have alot to do with how our kids deal with this crazy world. I’m all about being honest with my children, but I also think that I have to tread carefully around some things too, until the appropriate time. Every situation is going to be different and this is new territory for me.

I’m trying give my children the tools to be critical thinkers, but I know that their little brains and bodies are going through changes that make them act like… well, kids. I don’t want them growing up ignorant about AAS (or anything else for that matter), but at the same time, I don’t want to inadvertently encourage AAS use because they look up to me. I’m their primary (male) role-model in life, so I know they’re going to copy-cat me to some degree. They already do.

Some really good advice has come out of this, lots to think about, I’m glad I brought it up.

Jelly

[quote]rainjack wrote:
dirtbag wrote:
Jelly,

I think being a father also, I would disclose the info to them at a much later date. Kids will talk specially if dad is huge. So keep the AAS stuff to yourself untill they reach a level that they understand all factors. If they ask what the injections are. Tell them its medicine. For now its all they need to know.

You don’t want a son(guessing you have one) on AAS before he is ready to take that step. Then you saying to him your not ready. He will just lauph at you. I know I would when I was a teen.

If the discussion of AAS comes up in the home just be sure to correct them when the subject comes up. Specially on the real side effects of these powerful substances. If they ask where you get your info from. Say you know people that are cycling AAS that are bodybuilders.

I guess it depends on the kids. My kids are not like you were.

Maybe I am lucky, but my wife was right there with me when I was doing the research, and trying to figure out if AAS was something I could, or should do. She is still very supportive, and very pro-AAS.

Our house is too small to hide much of anything. I make my homebrew in the kitchen while everyone is home. If they are exposed to it as if it is just a part of life - there is usually no need to run to school and tell every one of their friends.

But like I said - my kids are different than you were. I know what I can tell them, and what I can’t.

My dad never told me shit. I am not going to be like that with my kids. They know how much we make, and how much debt we had to pay off to be debt free. They know their mother takes MTII injections as well.

Maybe I am just lucky. [/quote]

“I make my homebrew in the kitchen while everyone is home”.

Rainjack, your Awesome!

All joking aside, you are a very fortunate man not only to have an understanding wife, but also to have smart, mature children who truly understand a topic like this. Especially, in this day and age.

I have an understanding wife, but I’m not sure if I want kids though?

      I think the thing to remember well is that this is a completely individual decision to make according to each persons environment and/or the people who they engage with interpretation of said information. 

What works for Rainjack might totally fuck someone elses world upside down. Personally I wouldn’t tell your kids about your personal use until they were much older. I think Rainjacks situation is the exception not the norm, when it comes to reactions from loved ones on the topic.

            It's not that you would be doing a diservice to them by not revealing it, it could turn out to be that, by no fault of your own, if you did tell them now. You don't know what their friends, schoolmates etc, are feeling about it. And the fact that peer pressure might make them to feel a certain unexpected way is a possibility to think about.

    Certainly talking about it in a positive and honest way would be beneficial still, even if you chose to leave out the fact that you use, yeah?

              Just my two cents.

And it is nice to see that there are situations like Rainjacks out there in this day and age. I just don’t know if it’s always the right decision that’s all.
Great thread by the way.
ToneBone

I really feel bad about lying to my wife and want to tell her but she is sort of closed minded sometimes. I think her problem is that she sees juice as something that only pro bber’s do (no offence to the pro’s on the board but you have to admit the sport is a little extreme and tends to give people a one sided view of AAS). Because of all the crap in the media she thinks that juice is evil and kills people or makes them into huge twisted bloat monsters.

I think i basically just have to sit her down one day and lay it all out. I’m sure she’s mature enough to handle it but it’s going to be a rough conversation.

Sorry about the hijack but it’s kinda along the same topic.

[quote]FuriousGeorge wrote:
I really feel bad about lying to my wife and want to tell her but she is sort of closed minded sometimes. I think her problem is that she sees juice as something that only pro bber’s do (no offence to the pro’s on the board but you have to admit the sport is a little extreme and tends to give people a one sided view of AAS). Because of all the crap in the media she thinks that juice is evil and kills people or makes them into huge twisted bloat monsters.

I think i basically just have to sit her down one day and lay it all out. I’m sure she’s mature enough to handle it but it’s going to be a rough conversation.

Sorry about the hijack but it’s kinda along the same topic.[/quote]

FuriousGeorge:

If you plan on telling your wife, have her watch this HBO Real Sports special on AAS.

This news report suggests that there is no scientific evidence that links steroid use to serious health risks.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1mdnc_real-sports-steroid-special_politics

Good luck

[quote]FuriousGeorge wrote:
I really feel bad about lying to my wife and want to tell her but she is sort of closed minded sometimes. I think her problem is that she sees juice as something that only pro bber’s do (no offence to the pro’s on the board but you have to admit the sport is a little extreme and tends to give people a one sided view of AAS). Because of all the crap in the media she thinks that juice is evil and kills people or makes them into huge twisted bloat monsters.

I think i basically just have to sit her down one day and lay it all out. I’m sure she’s mature enough to handle it but it’s going to be a rough conversation.

Sorry about the hijack but it’s kinda along the same topic.[/quote]

If you want to tell her, just go off the juice for a month without taking any ancillaries - then drop the bomb, and tell her the only way to get back to your old self is with the gear.

That was a joke. Try that method at your own peril.