From now on im going to make an effort to have my daily conversations in old english. I'll say such statements as "I beseech thee, be seated yonder" or "Goest thou to the market".
'Tis obvious that thee be a shorn, elderly, white mann, nameth HefodHunta.
Confusion now hath made his masterpiece!
Verily thou art a disgruntled soul.
Verily this thread be full of win.
Perish, ye troll, in the fyres of Hell.
What you've described is Middle English.
This is Old English: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Beowulf.firstpage.jpeg
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Didst thou set thine eyes upon t'newest episode of Bones?
PS: Thou cockered rump-fed mumble-news, thou knowest not the difference betwix Old English an' Middle English. Shakespeare shakest his head from innan his grave.
"The painted man, he haunts my dreams!"
huzzah - Huzza or huzzah is first recorded in 1573. According to a number of writers in the 17th and 18th centuries, it was originally a sailor's cheer or salute. (Old French, huzzer, â??to shout aloud;â?? German, hussah!)
And all this time I thought the origin was Monty Burns.
Yaaasss! Ya F'ing Dancer!!!!
Hast thou placed thine distempered tool of Sin in the Fair Lady's posterior quarters?
Och, 'tis truly a fankle if you doona ken th' difference betwixt Olde and Middle English.
Here's a bit of Middle English, some lines from The Miller's Tale from The Canterbury Tales, by Chaucer, written around 1390-95:
This nicholas was risen for to pisse,
And thoughte he wolde amenden al the jape;
He sholde kisse his ers er that he scape.
And up the wyndowe dide he hastily,
And out his ers he putteth pryvely
Over the buttok, to the haunche-bon;
And therwith spak this clerk, this absolon,
Spek, sweete bryd, I noot nat where thou art.
This nicholas anon leet fle a fart,
As greet as it had been a thonder-dent,
That with the strook he was almoost yblent;
And he was redy with his iren hoot,
And nicholas amydde the ers he smoot.
and the modern English translation:
This Nicholas had risen for a piss,
And thought that it would carry on the jape
To have his arse kissed by this jack-a-nape.
And so he opened window hastily,
And put his arse out thereat, quietly,
Over the buttocks, showing the whole bum;
And thereto said this clerk, this Absalom,
O speak, sweet bird, I know not where thou art.
This Nicholas just then let fly a fart
As loud as it had been a thunder-clap,
And well-nigh blinded Absalom, poor chap;
But he was ready with his iron hot
And Nicholas right in the arse he got.
Shakespearean insults such as "Thou surly idle-headed mumble-news!" are examples of late Early Modern English.
Yeah, I studied this stuff for a few years.
ahem ...to be or not to be
Is that before or after the Great Vowel Shift?
The Lord's Prayer in 11th century Old English. Love the mood of this video.
That's not a question I see on here every day! The Tales were written well before the GVS.