T Nation

Taking It Personally


#1

How do you handle it when someone doesn't like something you've bought and they tell you this directly.

Here's some examples:

1) Wine. I bought some red wine. Nothing fabulous. Ten dollars a bottle roughly. I had guests that said it was too fruity and declined to finish their glasses. Like I said it wasn't phenomenal wine, but it was red wine which is what they asked for and it wasn't bad.

2) Crabs. Brought home two and a half dozen Extra Large crabs. They didn't look like XL crabs when I bought them, but I'd driven to the restaurant 15 miles away and was looking to buy the biggest crabs I could and these were them and the price wasn't bad. Had a guest over and she couldn't stfu about how they were't XL crabs. Kept saying they tasted good, but NO WAY were they XL.

3)Cheese, booze, other similar items. Same scenarios as above.

Basically,

1) How do you handle it when someone doesn't like something to eat or drink that you have bought?

2) How do you handle it when it's the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you've bought to eat and drink and it's your mother in law?

Thanks.


#2

[quote]sen say wrote:
How do you handle it when someone doesn’t like something you’ve bought and they tell you this directly.

Here’s some examples:

  1. Wine. I bought some red wine. Nothing fabulous. Ten dollars a bottle roughly. I had guests that said it was too fruity and declined to finish their glasses. Like I said it wasn’t phenomenal wine, but it was red wine which is what they asked for and it wasn’t bad.

  2. Crabs. Brought home two and a half dozen Extra Large crabs. They didn’t look like XL crabs when I bought them, but I’d driven to the restaurant 15 miles away and was looking to buy the biggest crabs I could and these were them and the price wasn’t bad. Had a guest over and she couldn’t stfu about how they were’t XL crabs. Kept saying they tasted good, but NO WAY were they XL.

3)Cheese, booze, other similar items. Same scenarios as above.

Basically,

  1. How do you handle it when someone doesn’t like something to eat or drink that you have bought?

  2. How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?

Thanks.

[/quote]

  1. I offer them something else and if nothing is available then they just have to deal. I try not to ever offer it again. If this happens more than once, I just stop inviting them over.

  2. You’re fucked. ( sorry I have nothing positive to add here )

I do get a little butt hurt when someone complains about something I’ve prepared for them , but everyone has a different flavor profile they like. I try not to go off the wall with anything crazy ( flavor wise unless I discuss with said guests). What does set me off is how they approach the matter.

People being flat out dicks because they don’t like it does not fly with me. Someone saying how they wished it was different or that it didn’t quite sit with them is fine. I’ve done that myself.


#3

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?
[/quote]

Serve her cheap shit because she will complain anyway?

Here, some Dr Peppers and skittles.

Bitch.

You might want to calibrate that approach somewhat.


#4

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?

[/quote]

Quietly remind her it’s you who will be picking her retirement home and making sure the nurses are changing her piss-covered sheets. So she might want to stock up some good will now. I did this with my current mother-in-law. Shut her the fuck up over a Passover meal.

Or, you can do what I did to my first set of in-laws, in particular my father in-law (who are my good friends now, mainly because they had one child, my first wife, who died and they want to be around her four daughters). He was constantly condescending, and essentially making fun of me for being Israeli and markedly older (almost 20 years) than his daughter. I took him outside drinking beer (obviously not Passover) and told him in no uncertain terms that if he said one more shitty thing, I would beat the fuck out of him.

They are in your house. They give respect, or they go.

If your wife doesn’t back you up on this, you have a problem.


#5

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?

[/quote]

Quietly remind her it’s you who will be picking her retirement home and making sure the nurses are changing her piss-covered sheets. So she might want to stock up some good will now. I did this with my current mother-in-law. Shut her the fuck up over a Passover meal.

Or, you can do what I did to my first set of in-laws, in particular my father in-law (who are my good friends now, mainly because they had one child, my first wife, who died and they want to be around her four daughters). He was constantly condescending, and essentially making fun of me for being Israeli and markedly older (almost 20 years) than his daughter. I took him outside drinking beer (obviously not Passover) and told him in no uncertain terms that if he said one more shitty thing, I would beat the fuck out of him.

They are in your house. They give respect, or they go.

If your wife doesn’t back you up on this, you have a problem.[/quote]

Jewish in-laws.

Black belt out of necessity.


#6

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?

[/quote]

Quietly remind her it’s you who will be picking her retirement home and making sure the nurses are changing her piss-covered sheets. So she might want to stock up some good will now. I did this with my current mother-in-law. Shut her the fuck up over a Passover meal.

Or, you can do what I did to my first set of in-laws, in particular my father in-law (who are my good friends now, mainly because they had one child, my first wife, who died and they want to be around her four daughters). He was constantly condescending, and essentially making fun of me for being Israeli and markedly older (almost 20 years) than his daughter. I took him outside drinking beer (obviously not Passover) and told him in no uncertain terms that if he said one more shitty thing, I would beat the fuck out of him.

They are in your house. They give respect, or they go.

If your wife doesn’t back you up on this, you have a problem.[/quote]

Jewish in-laws.

Black belt out of necessity. [/quote]

I have the in-laws reveresed there and have tried to edit twice now, but it keeps changing back.

Anyway, message is the same.


#7

I was going to say get a more polite group of friends, but this being your MIL ruined that. It seems to me that this is your wife’s duty to say something. If you talk it out with your wife and she doesn’t handle it, defer to JB’s advice. At least this is how my wife and I handle things, not that we have big issues. It is not that I have an issue dealing with my inlaws, just that she is somewhat more tactful.


#8

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?

[/quote]

Quietly remind her it’s you who will be picking her retirement home and making sure the nurses are changing her piss-covered sheets. So she might want to stock up some good will now. I did this with my current mother-in-law. Shut her the fuck up over a Passover meal.

Or, you can do what I did to my first set of in-laws, in particular my father in-law (who are my good friends now, mainly because they had one child, my first wife, who died and they want to be around her four daughters). He was constantly condescending, and essentially making fun of me for being Israeli and markedly older (almost 20 years) than his daughter. I took him outside drinking beer (obviously not Passover) and told him in no uncertain terms that if he said one more shitty thing, I would beat the fuck out of him.

They are in your house. They give respect, or they go.

If your wife doesn’t back you up on this, you have a problem.[/quote]

Jewish in-laws.

Black belt out of necessity. [/quote]

I have the in-laws reveresed there and have tried to edit twice now, but it keeps changing back.

Anyway, message is the same.[/quote]

Just a black belt then.


#9

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?
[/quote]

Serve her cheap shit because she will complain anyway?

Here, some Dr Peppers and skittles.

Bitch.

You might want to calibrate that approach somewhat. [/quote]

That just might actually be brilliant.


#10

Do you know how expensaive MD crabs are?? I would of told that bitch to shut her mouth!


#11

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
Do you know how expensaive MD crabs are?? I would of told that bitch to shut her mouth![/quote]

HAHA I was having the same thought.


#12

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?
[/quote]

Serve her cheap shit because she will complain anyway?

Here, some Dr Peppers and skittles.

Bitch.

You might want to calibrate that approach somewhat. [/quote]
Okay this made me chuckle and I agree 100%.

You are never winning this woman over, so might as well not break a sweat or the bank trying to please her.


#13

Who the fuck goes over to someone’s house and complains about free food and drink Oo


#14

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?
[/quote]

Serve her cheap shit because she will complain anyway?

Here, some Dr Peppers and skittles.

Bitch.

You might want to calibrate that approach somewhat. [/quote]
Okay this made me chuckle and I agree 100%.

You are never winning this woman over, so might as well not break a sweat or the bank trying to please her. [/quote]

This just saved my a whole bunch of two finger typing on my iPad. Agreed


#15

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]sen say wrote:
2) How do you handle it when it’s the same person 52 weeks a year putting down what you’ve bought to eat and drink and it’s your mother in law?
[/quote]

Serve her cheap shit because she will complain anyway?

Here, some Dr Peppers and skittles.

Bitch.

You might want to calibrate that approach somewhat. [/quote]
Okay this made me chuckle and I agree 100%.

You are never winning this woman over, so might as well not break a sweat or the bank trying to please her. [/quote]

This just saved my a whole bunch of two finger typing on my iPad. Agreed
[/quote]
Hahahahaahahahahahha

That reminds me I need to order a keyboard for the wife’s Ipad


#16

Next time just make something that is complete shit on purpose


#17

I didn’t like the comments I was getting from my in-laws about my cooking so the last time I had them over I took 4 inch thick t-bones fresh from the butcher shop, rubbed in some salt, pepper, a little cardamom, a dash of cayenne with EVO, then incinerated them on the grill. Then I chowed down and watched them gnaw in discomfort.

Later on for desert I let my dog loose on them.


#18
  1. I would ask them to be more specific about which red wine they like to drink for future reference.
  2. I wouldn’t go all out on food and such, I’m not paying anything more on food which isn’t appreciated. Probably would pay less though… Meaty dog food in a can served as high quality cuisine, bon apetite!

#19

Or tell them to bring there own fucking wine


#20

fucking bitch, drink it be grateful that you took the effort to please her.