While looking at the latest news and sports information at the AZCentral.com website I came across the following:
Notaro: Eighty Percent,
March 13, 2002
I just heard yesterday that according to the Harris Poll, 80 percent of people over the age of 25 are overweight based on the body
Now I have no idea who these Harris Poll people are, but I want to send a message to them: Meet me in the parking lot after work because I am going to beat every single one of you Poll people up.
And I MEAN it, too!
Who do you think you are, calling all of us FAT? Huh?Don’t you probably skinny people with unnatural metabolisms have any manners? And please don’t give me any of this, “We’re only telling you you’re FAT because we love you and want you to be healthy” CRAP.
You know what happens when you tell a fat person he or she is FAT? Well, they get sad and then they eat a cookie. They get sad and then they eat a donut. They get sad and then they eat a pizza. And then, the next day after you've called them fat because you "love them and want them to get healthy," THEY'RE FATTER.
If you want a chunky to gain some skinny ground, tell them they look nice. Tell them that they look slimmer despite the horizontal stripe Capri pants. Give them something to work with, something to build on.
I know this because I am FAT. One day my gynecologist poked me right in the bare naked belly as she was getting ready to Pap me and told me to “lay off the Twinkies.” After I choked back the desire to pummel her
bloody and pulpy with my fat rolls and my jiggly wiggly thighs, I said, “It’s amazing how much inspiration you just packed into that incredibly rude insult” and then I wrote
her a bad check on purpose.
You know, if 80 percent of us are overweight, that’s eight in every ten of us. Maybe we’re not the problem after all. Maybe those 20-percenters are just defective.Maybe there’s something wrong with them.
I’ll tell you this much–if I’m shipwrecked on a desert island with a Guess model, I can live off the fat in my right butt cheek alone for three to four months, but that model will be dead by sun up. So maybe it’s not US.Maybe it’s THEM. If there are so many of us fatty patties
running around, then maybe it’s time to change the standard, because obviously, the chunky monkeys have become the norm.
Let’s reassess our values, hey, they do it in math class when every single person fails the mid-term, why not do it here? We can even call it “The Belly Curve.”
This might go under the “midwest fatties” thread but regardless this is the attitude that is causing people to live healthy lives ie Nat’ Asso of Fat people. Comment.