T Nation

Table Manners

I eat most of my meals alone. Don’t talk to anyone on the phone or anything like that. Just shovel my food down until I can’t eat anymore, and then shove some more down just for good measure.

When going out with a lady recently to a restaurant I had to really keep my table manners on my mind. Use a napkin. Don’t eat with both hands/arms on the table. Talk. Chew. Drink. Talk some more.

What a hassle haha. Of course I’m not complaining about going out to dinner with a nice lady.

It’s more of the fact that I forgot how to eat civilized.

I’m sure there are many of you animals out there like this. Clinching your asscheeks to hold farts, not belching, coming up for air between fork-fulls.

Who else has to really ‘mind their manners’ when they eat outside of their regular place?

HAHAH! Seriously, I can only imagine the cacophony of noises you must be when eating alone.

I’m glad you’re on your best behavior in front of the ladies - this earns you brownie points.

When I returned home for the christmas break from university, I was ‘informed’ that it was considered rude to chug water (as I graze at the sink after meals) and also to lift my plate off the table (use the fork to shovel food in, why dirty a knife?)

Thankfully, my parents never saw me stab a steak with a fork and tear forcefully at it like a wolf. I do that often :smiley:

Yes my water habits are rather piggish also. Can’t bring a gallon jug to the table. Yet it’s so annoying getting up to refill my glass 3 times during dinner. At least the waiter stays on top of that shit at the restaurant.

Mascherano - I’ve learned its ALL about the brownie points with women. Acting like you care about miniscule things gets you MILES!!

whenever i eat dinner with my girlfriend’s parents, i drink straight from the jug and keep it on the floor. Nobody has ever said anything about it so I guess it’s not taboo.

Most of my friends are women and I have yet to change my table manners around them… I’ll belch, fart… etc… everything short of talking with food in my mouth… It hasn’t caused any issues, as far as hook ups etc… are concerned.

When I’m home or out at some formal event its different… or else my dad would throw a plate through my head

[quote]WormwoodTheory wrote:
whenever i eat dinner with my girlfriend’s parents, i drink straight from the jug and keep it on the floor. Nobody has ever said anything about it so I guess it’s not taboo.[/quote]

thats badass, shows them your alpha.

i tend to eat standing up 99% of the time when im eating alone. especially breakfast. ive been told that its serial-killer esque. i can clean it up if i need to though in a more formal setting.

[quote]i work out wrote:
Yes my water habits are rather piggish also. Can’t bring a gallon jug to the table. Yet it’s so annoying getting up to refill my glass 3 times during dinner. At least the waiter stays on top of that shit at the restaurant.

Mascherano - I’ve learned its ALL about the brownie points with women. Acting like you care about miniscule things gets you MILES!![/quote]

Exactly, when courting its all about putting your best self forward. After that, go ahead and raise that pork chop up and let one rip.

Wormwood, that is pretty badass!

I was over a friends house,a girl, and we decided to make a pizza. When Im with friends eating I typically will try to have a conversation. She ate 4 slices of pizza before my second bite. I hate people who fart,belch,lick fingers or pick their nose in my presence…keep that shit to yourself especially when eating.I was hanging out with the girl and her bf (dont like him) recently because she begged…and while watching a movie/eating he burped or farted atleast 15 times with an hour period( thats being conservative) and I dont mean the muffled didnt mean to shit but let it rip kuz im nasssssty shit…hes 23.

[quote]Petermus wrote:
I was over a friends house,a girl, and we decided to make a pizza. When Im with friends eating I typically will try to have a conversation. She ate 4 slices of pizza before my second bite. I hate people who fart,belch,lick fingers or pick their nose in my presence…keep that shit to yourself especially when eating.I was hanging out with the girl and her bf (dont like him) recently because she begged…and while watching a movie/eating he burped or farted atleast 15 times with an hour period( thats being conservative) and I dont mean the muffled didnt mean to shit but let it rip kuz im nasssssty shit…hes 23.[/quote]

sounds like you’re more girly then the one you speak of. and if she doesn’t make him hold it in until his stomach hurts so be it…they’re obviously beyond the point of being bashful about having to shit your pants opposed to sweating profusely and getting a stomach ache trying to hold it in.

[quote]natem wrote:

[quote]Petermus wrote:
I was over a friends house,a girl, and we decided to make a pizza. When Im with friends eating I typically will try to have a conversation. She ate 4 slices of pizza before my second bite. I hate people who fart,belch,lick fingers or pick their nose in my presence…keep that shit to yourself especially when eating.I was hanging out with the girl and her bf (dont like him) recently because she begged…and while watching a movie/eating he burped or farted atleast 15 times with an hour period( thats being conservative) and I dont mean the muffled didnt mean to shit but let it rip kuz im nasssssty shit…hes 23.[/quote]

sounds like you’re more girly then the one you speak of. and if she doesn’t make him hold it in until his stomach hurts so be it…they’re obviously beyond the point of being bashful about having to shit your pants opposed to sweating profusely and getting a stomach ache trying to hold it in. [/quote]

Haha. Her dad is a typical mans man…army,martial artist/machanic etc and he was complaining about lol. She complained about it also but hes a dick.

Knowing you have bad table manners, and flaunting them in public is NOT alpha. It’s ignorance.

[quote]WormwoodTheory wrote:
whenever i eat dinner with my girlfriend’s parents, i drink straight from the jug and keep it on the floor. Nobody has ever said anything about it so I guess it’s not taboo.[/quote]

The Taboo part is you sitting at the table with your Spongebob underwear on… Backwards!
Tell the Clampetts I said hello.

a long time ago i was taken on a proper date to some fancy restaurant. they actually brought the wine over, showed me the label, made me taste it and approve before they’d fill my glass. i didnt realize that happened in real life.
after finally getting some wine, i didnt want to sit there chatting and being cute and taking wee bites of my food. i wanted to shovel it in with a quickness. it was delicious! i’ve never been taken on a proper date since then.

also… i keep my huge water jug on the table. i’m f’n thirsty!

I’ve gotten into the habit of trying to eat a decent meal before I go out on a date or to any kind of semi-formal meal. My manners go down the shitter when I am starving so not being starving really helps me to eat slowly and not do the aforementioned shoveling.

I gotta say, being able to pull out some manners once in a while is important if being a well rounded male is important to you.

being a well rounded male is not important to me

[quote]ladieslove wrote:
being a well rounded male is not important to me[/quote]

How about thickness?

dont be dumb. thickness is always important.

LL, that was not a reference to you obviously, though being a well rounded woman is never a bad thing.

[quote]dgranucci wrote:
LL, that was not a reference to you obviously, though being a well rounded woman is never a bad thing.[/quote]

no, me having table manners wouldn’t be the worst idea ever.

BUT the Ottawa Valley doesn’t breed “ladies” and now i’m old and set in my ways.