T Nation

T-Nation's Black Guy in a Horror Movie


#1

Just curious.

Of the known black posters here...who do you guys pick to last to the end of a horror movie?

I'd say either myself or Soulja

Prof...dies fist fighting killer

wol-dies first..too comical

Big Boss-dies saving me or soulja

Pootie Tang
SA.........do not survive either sadly

What picks do all of you have?


#2

Prof X. He is the horror.


#3

ok, lol!

So Prof is the killer? HO LEE SHIT


#4

Brother Chris.
God saves him from demon end movie.
Can't you just see him holding up the cross?


#5

No he doesnt make it past opening credits.

He may beg for God....but, cmon. I mean, cmon!


#6

If its a Tarentino flick, you all live but through out the entire movie stuff keeps happening where you should die, and everybody expects it. Finally by the last scene people are getting frustrated that you aren't dead yet and really wish that at least one of you would get disemboweled, and when the movie ends they are in a state of disbelief that none of you got snuffed.


#7

My head hurts now.

Damn.


#8

My fro will be my downfall, it'll get stuck in a door or something equally stupid while I'm saving all of the T-Vixens (except Oleena).

But I'll come back right before the finale with a bald fade and a new reason to kill. Btw is this a zombie or a slasher flick?


#9

It's a zombie apocalypse, and the biggest guys on T-Nation are the surviving holdouts.
Prof X
CC
Waylander
H4M
Alpha
Stu
HolyMac
and more (we know who these people are)

unfortunately, Alpha and H4M both get snuck up on and bitten, and between the two of them manage use their martial skills even in zombie mode to infect/kill almost everyone else. The final scene is an epic battle of Prof X and CC wielding chainsaws back to back as all the infected members of T-cell alpha circle them. I'd buy this movie. lol.

(just felt like applying it to people of all colors)(but techically, Prof X lasts till the end. education+strength=long survival)


#10

If the movie is made by M. Night Shyamalan, everyone lives because none of the people were actually black. It turns out they were aliens who had died, but didn't know it and lived in a small colony by themselves amongst angry trees, and they pretended to be black to scare outsiders away.


#11

It's a Martin Scorsese film. Everyone dies.


#12

Can't forget Beast. He dies last, if at all, because he's so fucking massive.


#13

I suppose now is as good as any time to pick up Jive, 'n I'm layin' it on you straight lil mama.

P.S. Black Irish...not the same thing as black.


Vote: Everyone

Prof because he's got anesthesia and a katana sword, he'd tell them straight up that he pity the fool that doesn't floss and brush his teeth twice a day. He would politely cough inform them they need to have a full dental check up and cleaning.

Big Boss because no one from Texas ever dies (except for the chainsaw movie) in movies especially a black guy in the military. He's like Laurence Fishburne (without the porn star for a daughter) in Predators. Plus he could always get them leanin' with that syrup down in Texas, they got.

Wol because he's class of 2005.

Soulja Boy Tell'em and Pootie Tang because they'd get them cross faded on weed and liquor.

SickAbz because they'd be to distracted by his underage entourage of junior high school girls that look like they are twenty.

Oh, forgot...Count because they'd drop laughing at a 300 pound black man that sparkles.


#14

I'm black but no one seems to remember that.

You think those pics in my hub are really me? Like I'd put up picks of some over-weight Howdy Doody lookalike nerd.


#15

#16

I'm black.

<---- See the evidence?


#17

^ I just noticed...PUT SOME DAMN PANTS ON, it's getting uncomfortable know that I've had to ask twice.


#18

Well I guess I'm not black anymore.

Fuck you Cunt Rockula.


#19

^^ Ahhhh sheeet mannnn Now you made me notice, Alright man put some pants on.

And your black Nikki. Your the niece that stays behind with Grandpa Four60 as I warn the others to stop playing in the pet cemetary and leave old man F. Krugger and his dog Kujo alone.

But being young Soulja, Wal and Pootie Tang just wont listen and borrow Uncle BOSS keys to his old ride Christine to pick up their new friend Jason from Camp an end up getting in trouble.

Oh and X is to busy riding his bicycle around the neighborhood looking for Smokey and Craig to be involved in all this nonsense.


#20

Xander, everything about that video was both terrible and hilarious.