T Nation

T-Nation World


#1

Have you ever thought what the world would be like if starting right now everyone believed in T-Nation?

  • Fast food would disappear
  • Gyms would be everywhere
  • Kegs would be made for lifting not drinking
  • This would be the last generation of fat people ever
  • Iron shortages
  • Tractors would get jacked for their tires
  • This would be the last generation of newbies
  • Steroids would be legalized
  • Weight machines would end up in the dump or museums
  • Poorly educated gym trainers would end up selling vacuums door to door
  • Surge would be sold at 7/11
  • If you got drunk you wouldn?t wake up with a fat chick (maybe annoying, but not fat)
  • Coffee breaks would be changed to nutrition breaks

Think about how good this would be.


#2

Damn that's funny!


#3

I don't know. I think it would be boring. Diversity is the spice of life. And if everyone's elite, there'd be no more elite anymore. But I'm all for getting rid of fat chicks and selling Surge at 7-11.


#4

Whoa whoa..just simmer down with that one!


#5

Which brings up another point...if they were made for lifting and not for drinking...how would one wake up drunk next to said skinny and possibly annoying chick?


#6

I beleive diversity was an old wooden ship...

Very good point.


#7

I guess you could drink a coctail like those manginas do.


#8

There would only be one alcoholic beverage: Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey.


#9

Screw that..I do enjoy the occasional bourbon its generally all beer for me.


#10

Hmmm...good point, lol, this new T-Nation world is going to be complex then I thought.


#11

I would have to hire some Tuetonic shaman to bootleg me some Jagermeister.


#12

[quote]
bmf_inc wrote:

  • Kegs would be made for lifting not drinking

quote]

What the hell? We have problems here.


#13

Yes your right, I believe it was used in the civil war.


#14

aweful...

I would die without coffee...


#15

-The break room at my job would be converted to a gym full of free weights and a blender

-French fries would be outlawed

-Hair spray being used in public places would be OUTLAWED- the sentence: Death by Zug-Zug

-Gym wierdos, gym stalkers, middle-aged naked gym guys/girls who in their naked state try to strike up conversations with unsuspecting strangers in locker rooms all across america would be banished to their own quarantined Island, where they can all live together happily ever after (and spare the rest of us)

-The world will be spared from having to be exposed to the "Muffin Effect"

-Shows about the get-skinny secrets of Hollywood stars, music video sexploitation, and E! true hollywood stories will be replaced by shows with real issues that are actually important in this world and that real people actually care about.

-Only people who are too skinny and are on a training/gaining plan will be allowed to go to all you can eat buffets; the rest will be turned away.

-Paris Hilton would be a squat, deadlift, legpress and lunge FANATIC


#16

-Anyone caught reading a shitty muscle mag would be beaten like a dog that just pissed on the rug

-Any attempt to curl in the power/squat rack would bring a hasty cactus shoved up the rectum....repeatedly

-Further attempts to curl in the rack would mean suffocation in an overheated sauna

-Only quality barbells and dumbbells would exist. The rest could go to that island that chinadoll mentioned.

-No sales tax on protein

-Powerlifting would have it's own channel on cable TV

-Screw that, it would be available on public access TV

-Gym class in schools would instruct the fundamentals of good lifting form instead of dance aerobics (yes, we were forced to do that crap in my gym classes. I got an F)


#17

Drink the keg on your cheat day. Then lift it and throw it around the rest of the week.


#18

OH! OH! What a great idea! An all BB and Powerlifting channel! You hit it on the nose!!


#19

Individuals doing squats with the smith machine would be sentence to life imprisonment with Michael Jackson.

To run for office you must be able to at least bench your weight.

Gumball machines would be filled with Alpha Male, Spike, Flameout and MAG-10.

Tuna breath would be considered normal, and in some areas thought as an aphrodisiac.

My coworkers would no longer laugh about how much food I bring to work.

Work would buy a bigger fridge.

Prof X would write a book titled ?Shut Up and Eat, You Skinny Fool? and go on a book tour and then become the first black president.

ProteinPowda and Foopa would star in The Sound of Music Two (although, nobody would watch it).

Vegita would be the next Hugh Hefner.

Crossfitters would be banished to Chinadoll?s bad man island.


#20

Jose Cuervo Black Medallion Tequila.

"Makes my clothes fall off"