So I’m a Controller. I originally got my degree in Finance and did some selling, very feast or famine.
Ended up landing accounting gigs and turns out I’m very good at that. Turns out very few people can do debits/credits and have business sense (people skills, positive attitude, project management…etc). A few catches:
I hate the work I do. I thought it was just my immaturity at first. One of my catch phrases is “if it were fun they wouldn’t pay me.” But it turns out I have a visceral hatred for being chained to a desk paying bills, reconciling accounts, payroll, audits etc… It’s to the point where my chest tightens (heart rate the whole deal) and I get angry on the way in and I don’t decompress till I’m home for 2 hours. My uncontrollable physiological disgust at my job makes me a worse person. Naturally I try to keep it together and treat everyone with respect.
My last 3 jobs there’s been layoffs/reorganizations that left me with 2-10x the workload. My most recent job it happened after 1 month on the job. I take the job, then bam: 3 out of 5 of my team gets cut. I’m just expected to take up the slack and work the unpaid OT. I do it every time and get great reviews and awards for performance and projects. I should be greatful to even have a job, but I’m not.
The wife just injured her foot and she will be laid up for a few months. We have two very small kids and I took a few sick days to be with her. That made some reporting of mine late (literally no team to delegate to). I went in at 9pm last night after they were all in bed to work on it (can’t remote in). Something in the ERP system broke and I lost dozens of entries and days worth of work. I lost my cool and started cussing and throwing shit. Luckily the office was empty. This isn’t the guy I want to be lol.
Long term I’d like to be an accredited real estate investor with a portfolio of income properties so when I die the family has a legacy.
But right this minute I need a day job to pay the bills and dig out of my financial hole so I can prudently invest (Dave Ramsey style sort of).
I can cut grass, trim trees, move furniture, run a lathe/drillpress, sweat pipes, lay tile, hang drywall, face to face sales, allocate a portfolio, budget, forecast, reconcile anything, manage an audit, respond to an audit, outwork my competition, out-think my competition etc…
Not sure what to do next. If I got an offer trimming trees or digging ditches tomorrow for even a $10k cut I would take it this…very…second.
Thoughts? Exhortations? I feel like I’m an ungrateful jerk for hating my job… I’ve tried everything to put a better face on it and get out of my own damn head… But I can’t.