I need some feedback about what to improve for my essay.
I love iron. The feel of raw metal, the pain, and the surging endorphins make it all worthwhile. Iron has changed me into a better man; a man with knowledge, power, and most importantly, silent confidence. Weightlifting is not a sprint, but a life-long marathon towards a healthier self.
I was dealt tough cards from the start, beginning at my early birth at seven months weighing a mere two pounds. In a blink, I changed from a severely malnourished and underweight child to the proud owner of a 31-inch waist in middle school. I had no problem with my ï¿½??slightlyï¿½?? chubby body image. Perhaps I was preoccupied in living within my fabricated protective bubble.
ï¿½??That kid has man-boobs.ï¿½??
Those four words ignited within me, fueling a burning desire for change. I came to my senses; I was just another fat kid. Uneducated and desperate, I did hundreds of crunches to no avail. Instead of a rugged six-pack, I developed a posture problem.
I turned towards my brother for help. He taught me the fundamentals of weightlifting. By training along side with him, I had an epiphany: No effort, no results, plain and simple. Under his guidance, I discovered a new love: my passion for weightlifting. Lifting weights was not just physique building, it was a choice of lifestyle.
A tiny step into the gym; a great leap towards self-actualization. At first, It was tough, to subject oneself to such physical torture for seemingly superficial reasons. I felt out of place, inferior, and most of all, intimidated. Picking up the tiny pink dumbbells and struggling with them was a feat of courage. It took determination to subject myself to such public humiliation and ignore the glaring eyes and awkward laughter of others. This sense of insecurity overwhelmed me; I felt as if I was suffocating under the pressure. Indeed, many times I considered giving up. However, time after time, my brother pushed me back on track. Over time, I gained more understanding of weightlifting. I was no longer motivated by such vain and shallow reasons, instead I was intrinsically motivated. I wanted to see how far I would go if I committed myself to it. I was my only competitor, constantly striving to outdo myself. I no longer seek the recognition of others, for I am self-validated. I am changed.
Through weightlifting, I have acquired many vital skills applicable to real life. Before my encounter with weightlifting, I would often whine and nag about the ï¿½??ridiculousï¿½?? amounts of homework or incompetent teachers. However, after I acquired this healthy ï¿½??lifestyleï¿½?? I no longer nagged or whined. I embrace these academic challenges for I love the feel of mastering a challenge and being in control. In fact, I want to be intellectually stimulated. My sense of focus and determination is transferred to everything else I do. Whether I am prepping a finesse meal, or simply running an extra mile. Weightlifting has changed my fundamental capacity to undertake new challenges. Through my unfortunate injuries due to my intensity, I also learned the importance of moderation and strategic planning. It is not all about training hard; it is also about training smart.I looked beneath the surface, striving to learn everything about the little details that make up the whole. Now, informed and transformed, I have achieved a new level of health. I have since earned myself the quality of unspoken confidence.