T Nation

T-Man Kitchen

I think you fellow t-men may have different ideas about what should be in the average t-man kitchen than old martha stewart. We all know that it’s all about the diet, so lately the kitchen has become my favorite room of the house. Here’s some of the things I think ought to be in every t-mans kitchen…

  1. a good quality blender, nice and loud… my favorite way to wake the wife and neighbors.
  2. Tuna can opener (what? other food comes in cans?
  3. Garlic press. Yeah, garlic’s healthy, but I just like it to improve grip strength.
  4. Salt shaker filled with creatine instead of salt. Who cares if the guests think the food tastes grainy!
  5. Spice rack filled with bottles of vitamins.
  6. Electric water cooker and instant coffee.
  7. Wall sized food chart listing contents and glycemic index of all foods known to man and beast.
  8. Shelves full of biotest supps.(at waist-level so you can reach them after one of Mr. King’s upper body workouts)
  9. A sign reading “It’s your diet, STUPID!!” hanging in the fridge behind the stacks of cottage cheese.
  10. Dish washer (preferably wearing a french maid skirt, she should know how to cook, too)
  11. Old radio with bad sound, something to sit on like an old milk crate and some sort of table… we can afford to replace these luxuries when Biotest starts giving us their supps for free.
  12. Dog to eat whatever falls on the floor, unless you can get to it first of course.
  13. Rice cooker, if you aren’t carbophobic that is.
  14. Safety knives, plastic silverware and all plastic dishes. Motor control isn’t all that great after a truly good workout!
  15. Shiny chrome toaster. Not for toast, but for the carnival-mirror effect making you look absolutely huge.

Any other ideas?

Any one care to start a list of things impossible to do after one of Ian King’s great guns workouts, like adjusting your shirt collar?

Nice one. I’m taking notes. The only thing you forgot was the over sized fridge to help avoid twice weekly shopping for all that food.

If you wear glasses … try putting them on after one of Ian’s workouts without losing an eye.

How bout one of those “real doll” fuck dolls? cuz there is no way your gonna get a chick into that place :slight_smile:

Definitely a huge fridge! And a separate walk in freezer to hang the racks of beef.

LOL! Don’t forget the “before” picture taped up on the inside of the cupboard door for motivation. There’s nothing quite as motivating as a photo of your flabby, pasty, hairy spare tire to keep you away from the cookies.

I’d have to suggest a grill with 10 square feet of cooking surface. You MIGHT be able to cook a week’s worth of meat that way. Oh yeah, the “dishwasher” needs to be good at sponge baths, cuz’ there’s no way to wash anything north of the navel after an Ian King upper body workout… “What’s that? You say I didn’t work upper body today? How about a sponge bath, anyway…c’mon, it’s good practice…”