T Nation

T-Mag = Stud T-Vixen = Slut

I have a feeling that this thread could take up the whole forum but I just needed some objective opinions from people that don’t know me. I love my T-family and need some of their honest opinions.

I’ll start off by saying that I met my brothers girlfriend and at one point we go into a debate, pretty heated I might add. It was cool that we agreed to disagree so here’s how it went.

To summarize a very long discussion I told her about my theory about why promiscuous men are seen as studs and promiscuous women are seen as sluts.

I noted that for a man to get laid it takes some “game” for lack of a better word. A man cannot sit at the end of the bar and chew on a straw and throw back his hair and smile. It’s also not wise to pound beers with the boys and beat themselves on the chest. Game would be a personality, ability to talk to someone, have a sense of humor, manners, things of that nature. If a guy wants to “hook up” he must put all these things together to attract a woman, and more likely than not, go up and pursue the women. While it does happen, and I love it when it does, women rarely come up and initiate a conversation with a man. If a guy can go out, whether it be a bar, supermarket, you name the function, and consistently get numbers and the such, he is deemed a stud. This is my observation but I could be wrong.

WOMEN. God I love you guys! Ok, if a woman wants to get laid out it takes little effort if no effort at all. I’ll address the difference about men and women and sexual attitudes in a few minutes. She can go to a bar or outing and pick up with ease and frequently, much like my bowels after several MD6 and a few cups of coffee. She does not need charm or game to go home with someone that evening. Yes I know that is not the goal of everyone that goes out, men or women. Since women don’t have to lift a finger to get a hook up they have a bit of power over men in these situations. The smoothest males wins. Women that do this can be seen as sluts since they are abusing this power. Ladies, you can go out, dress provacatively, toss the hair and give a 5 second stare and a smile and that’s usally the green light for us guys.

After our little debate I started to think a little more about the woman part. The thing I wish I could take back was that I used the term “abuse” their power. Women have a sex drive equal to or greater than men in a lot of instances. They should be able to sleep around with as many men as they want with no stigma attached to them, if that’s what they want.

Women sexual attitude vs, Men's. I can't tell you the study, it was in college a few years ago but it was something to effect that our biology effects how we view procreation. This isn't fact or anything, it's something I remember from Pysch classes, although I have killed off most of those brain cells with Jack Daniels. Women have a limited amount of eggs. Suppose they live 70 years and start their periods at age 10. Take in consideration menopause and do some math, she ovulates around 480 times. I simply took 30 years of menstrating times 12 months in a year. While she is not consciously thinking these things, her body knows, hey, save this egg for something useful. It's hard to argue or beat mother nature.

MEN, spread the seed. Simple

To end this long rambling, I just want some feedback on this. I’m not standing up and saying what is what, but here’s somethings I have thought about.

(Dear T-God, don’t let me get lynched by my fellow T-People)

Biology plays a part in sex drive but don’t forget to include the effects of socialization. A big reason why men are so “out there” with their sexuality is that we have (and I know the feminists get real pissed about this one) basically run society since the feminine divine “Goddess” was supplanted and replaced by the male divine “God”. When men started to amass real sociopolitical power, guess what? We determined the “rules” governing sex and sexuality. Hence, men get to be promiscuous and women have to be chaste to be considered moral.

As far as the double standard goes, I AGREE that promiscuity in males AND females isn’t healthy or beneficial to society. I know a lot of guys who sleep around, and I know some women who do the same. Once I made the comment (to a female friend) that “Such and such is a complete slut.” She became incensed and said “You wouldn’t say that if she were a man!”. I replied “Yes I would!” and she realized immediately that I was right. I do it all the time. The point is, women SHOULDN’T be able to sleep with as many people as they want with no social stigma, and NEITHER SHOULD MEN! We all, as adults, need to stop letting our glands control our behavior and grow the hell up.

Ooooh, I gotta go, a redhead in a sports bra & running shorts just walked by!

Yes, I agree. Men are designed and pre-programmed physically to have more than one sexual partner in order to assure the survival of that particular male. Some theories even go so far as to say that the penis is designed to pull out another male’ssperm from a female’s vagina and insert his own. However, a female has an innate desire to pick out the best gene’s in order to pass those on to her offspring. During menstruation a female is inclined to look at other males and maybe even have sex with other males so long as she has stability and confidence in her partner not finding out.

Listen, women are deemed sluts by both men and women but for a different reason. Men want to be able to sleep around but want a “pure, clean, fresh, unused” woman (double standard - I know). Women see other women as sluts b/c they are stealing potential men (mates) from them for evil purposes. All I can say is it sucks to be a horny woman.

I agreed with you until the issue with the eggs. Women have ( if I remember correctly) @100,000 eggs when they are born and lay dorminant until each follicular recruitment of each cycle. So, there isn’t a shortage of eggs, but there might be something to your arguement that women want the “best” (i.e strongest, most intelligent…man) to bear a child to, and are therefore more “choosy” in there selections.

I think you’re dead on. It’s nice that somebody is thinking about this stuff rationally.

NO, NO, NO! Men & women are NOT the same! There is certain behaviour expected of a lady and there is different behaviour expected of a gentleman. I’m all for equality & all that, but, I repeat, men & women are not the same. Look at any other orgaanism, the males spread the seed so that their genes that get passed on to the next generation. That’s why they get territorial & fight over a girl. The guy always goes after the girl & if the girl is into it, she gives the guy a chance.

I agree were are all different - and I have no clue what it is like to be a man etc . . . but I don’t like it when guys make it seem like all women have lower sex drives than men. Maybe some do, maybe many do, I haven’t been other women either. I personally have a exceptionally strong sex drive and I have a hard time believeing I’m the only woman like that. I think most women are as fired up as I am, they are just afraid to admit it. I guess I wouldn’t have admitted it when I was single either - but since I am married and can have all the sex I want (until my husband starts bumping into the walls for lack of sleep)I don’t mind admiting it. Why do guys think women have lower sex drives? Do you other girls think that is true? Am I just strange (again)? Ladies, please satisfy my curiosity (even if you post anonymously) and let me know if women really do have lower sex drives than men so I can quit arguing with my brother about it. He is quite convinced, as some guys here are, that women’s drives are lower. I don’t buy it.

I think guys & girls have equal sex drives, more or less, but girls are more shy about it, at first anyway. I think that’s just because someone might think that they get around a lot. I’ll say it again, different behaviour is expected of guys & girls.

Natey, when you say that certain behaviors are “expected” from a lady and certain behaiviors are “expected” from a gentlemen, you are appliying socially constructed ideas (just what the hell are a lady and gentlemen today?) without even realizing it. I don’t think for one second that you are looking to excuse men’s bad behavior, but to say that it is a male’s job to “spread the seed”, as it were, denies the fact that women ALSO contribute 50% of the DNA for the creation of offspring (not to mention feeling INTENSE sexual desires equal to what men feel). It is a purely SOCIAL construction that a man should “pass HIS genes along”, because women ALSO pass their genes along when they choose to reproduce. Rarely do we consider that a woman might possibly want to pass HER genes along; rather we simply assume that the woman just wants to have the children of the Alpha Male. That’s pretty damn chauvanistic.

Besides, using the example of other organisms to illustrate that males should “spread the seed” is pretty simplistic to say the least. To put it bluntly, lots of other animals eat their own shit, masturbate in the presence of their peers, and do any number of other rather disgusting things. We, as humans, do not (unless we’re into some really weird scene). So to use their behavior as a model for our own is quite dangerous.

My point is that if we are, as we claim, truly superior to the animals that we share this planet with, we need to learn that BOTH sexes have inherently powerful sexual instincts and that it is the responsibility of BOTH to ensure that we find a socially constructive outlet for those urges. Otherwise, we’re just a bunch of hairless monkeys running around screwing everything in sight. Kind of like those MTV Spring Break Specials.

I just want to say that I don’t think there is really a double standard in terms of the “stud” vs “slut” thing, it’s mainly just how the people are viewed. I mean, if I know a hot guy that has had many different partners, it effects how attractive I think he is, as far as a relationship goes. For example, my freind is a stripper, and she is really pretty, and obviously guys like how she looks. Although she can find a sexual partner whenever she wants, she has difficulty finding a guy for a relationship, since I don’t think you guys want to say “Hey mom, guess what, I’m dating a stripper!” Can you see how this relates to the “stud”? A guy who looks good and sleeps around is still attractive to me, but when thinking in the long term, he really isn’t. In guess what I am getting at is that the stud/slut thing isn’t much of a double standard, if you keep the time frames constant, meaning “one night” vs “for life.”