T Nation

T-Dictionary Part Deux

Hopefully, this will bring the monkey out of hiding.

Many moons ago, the Monkey created a T-Dictionary that was added to in a thread about all the wonderful people we see in gyms and the such. I’ve decided to take it upon myself to continue the dictionary and hopefully add to it after an infuriating day at the gym. Without further ado…

The Lounge Lizard - The “personal trainer” who sits on the leg curl machine (or whatever piece of equipment appears not to be in use) while their client is on the leg extension machine. Known to offer encouragement such as “Come on” and “One more”. Also very adept at counting to 10…and also couting down from 10. “Get out of the way Lounge Lizard I’m trying to use that bench.”

Captain Bench Press - The gym member who wears a wife beater and belt while doing 4 sets of bench press in the time it takes me to complete my whole NB3 workout. “Yeah, Captain Bench Press kept giving me the stink face because my ass was in his face while I did the Waterbury Walks.”

Swingline - adj. When some annoying gym member (possibly on a cell phone) causes you to lose concentration on heavy squats and you get stapled to the floor. “The captain got a call and yelled when I started my squats. I got Swinglined to the floor and I thought about taking him out.”

Feel free to add to the dictionary, I know there’s some good ones out there.

Flingitus - Fling^itus [Noun] ~ The common disease where a weight trainer, usually but not always a Body Builder holds their arms at a 70 degree angle while doing side laterals and “Flings” the weight up so that no actual work gets done by the intended muscle. While this exercise is thought by the patients to be working the Middle Deltoid it in fact misplaces development on to the Male Ego. This exercise has many side effect including small Deltoids and the proliferation of the opinion that you are a Goof.

Performance of this exercise (also called the (Chicken Dance")in a squat rack has been known to be fatal.

“The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it’s egotism”

~ Robert Frost

Admiration Curls - Adj+noun: Where the concentration of the lifter is focused solely on the reflection from the nearby mirror.

Newton’s Thirds - Where the recoil from the concentric/ eccentric is inversely proportional to the initial impetus used.

Squa: n: A half squat, not completed.

Chicken Run: The movement and speed of withdrawl from the squat area by the average body for lifer

Battery Farm: Aero-heads on the tradmills

Cupcake, these supposed lateral raises you speak of have spread like an epidemic throughout our great city of Calgary. This is the only place where I have seen them done, but so many people do them and I stare in amazement every single time, using every ounce of restraint I can muster to not say something. They look like some sort of primitive flying machine and of course the people that do them have to do them at least 3-4 times per week, confirming to me that progress is not occuring. I think we should start a thread where people can discuss funny regional trends in weightlifting that we all see happening around us.