Not sure where to put this in the forums, but since this is my first post after months of lurking I figure Beginner seems to fit the bill.
I’m a thirty year old who began lifting seriously about a year ago. I’m about 6’2 and had spent some time long distance running in my 20s. I’ve always been a bit lanky, but with wide hip bones so I figured it’d be nice to broaden those shoulders some. The first photograph shows me this past September at around 170 when I was just beginning things (I’ll post updates below). Following the excellent information on this site and these forums I managed to get up to 210 this March before deciding to cut down on the bulking. Was even planning to do a half-marathon with my sister for the good old days and was managing to keep on some muscle while picking up the speed. All seemed well and I was happy with my progress.
Then the shit hit the fan. Two weeks ago my fiancee and partner of ten years told me that she couldn’t marry me and that she was leaving me. It has been an absolutely devastating experience, because I’ve been madly in love with her throughout and came upon me totally unexpected. We’d been living apart as she started grad school and I started a new job, but blind fool that I was I had thought that all was grand. Now she’s off in another city and ready to start dating and I’m still trying to find the ground underneath my feet.
Didn’t really eat for about a week and lost about 8 pounds since. I’m finding it hard to feel motivated, even though I feel like I’ve made great progress this year and would hate to waste what I’ve worked hard to gain.
So, I guess I’m asking for some suggestions from those of you who’ve found yourselves in a similar place and perhaps some ideas on how to rediscover some motivation. I’ll add two current pictures below to give a sense of where I am and it would probably help me just to hear some concrete ideas of next steps for development. I’m not interested in being huge, but trying to balance out my structure and, in the interests of some seriously-depleted self-esteem, look as good as I can at this point (ie attractive to other women).
Which brings me to the next point: having been in a committed relationship for a decade, I’ve completely forgotten how to date or even meet other women. Any suggestions from those who’ve spent some time on the circuit? I’m not there yet, but I’d like to find a distraction or three to get my mind off of her.
Cheers all and apologies for the pity-fest.