T Nation

Suggestion For Strong Words

I realize that there are tens of thousands of appropriate selections for Strong Words, and thousands of humorous Simpsons quotes, but I feel the need to suggest these, since they are from the only Simpsons episode devoted to fitness:

Brad[advertising rep]:

Here’s a headline for you–man eats Powersauce bars, becomes world’s
greatest mountain climber.

Neil [His partner]:

It’s believable, that’s what I like about it!

Brad: Wake up Homer, those Powersauce bars are just junk! They’re made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers!

Homer: Hey! Deng Xiaoping died!

[Homer is jogging. He sees an “All-Night Gym”.]

Homer: “Gyme”? What’s a gyme?

He wonders what a “gyme” is, so he goes inside.

Homer: Oh, RIGHT, a GYME

[Homer starts using a lat pulldown machine, but he uses it the wrong way. He lies in such a way that every time he drops the weight it hits him on the head.]

Homer: Phew, my head’s gonna be sore in the morning!

Rainier Wolfcastle: Excuse me, you’re doing this station all backwards. Let
me show you how to do it like a man.

Homer: Rainier Wolfcastle! Oh, I love your movies and your Powersauce bars and your taught, rippling…

Rainier Wolfcastle: Hey, hey, that’s enough. Now step over to the Abdominator and I will shout slogans at you.

Rainier Wolfcastle’s the best. I remember the episode where he was doing fitness testing Bart’s school (or something).

“Come on! Even my fat mama can touch 'er toes!”
“You can’t even do one seetup?!”

He’s about to measure Millhouse’s abdominal fat so Millhouse sucks in his gut:
“Vee can wait…”
Millhouse exhales and all the flab comes out.
“Come to papa!”

Rainier Wolfcastle: 'ey 'omer, don’t forget to vipe down ze equipment, your sweat gave me a 'orrible rash.

This isn’t a Simpsons one but its pretty “Strong Words worthy”:

The Jamaica Test:

Lets say you’re dating a girl and one of your good buddies asks you if you want to go to Jamaica with him for the weekend. If you feel you have to ask your girlfriend, she has too much control of your life and you need to end the relationship right there.