LOL! That's exactly the kind of thing I find hilarious.
I bet Dokken was happy to get the work
I was at wholefoods today.
I saw a woman carrying her baby while wheeling a stroller with the other hand.
There was a watermelon in the stroller.
get the fuck out of here!
Oh man, I don't know why, but that shit just made me tear up I'm laughing so hard. Worst part is it makes perfect sense if you think about it.
I posted this before, but it still cracks me up....
HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF
1.Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3.Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4.If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5.Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8.Practice making fax and modem noises.
9.Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15.Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16.Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18.Honk and wave to strangers.
19.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20.TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21.type only in lowercase.
22.dont use any punctuation either
23.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27.Ask people what gender they are.
28.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30.Sing along at the opera.
31.Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
I was riding my bike on saturday and as I got on, I was struggling to get one of my feet in the clip. So as I'm doing this, I'm looking down and didn't realize that I had drifted to my right. I get my foot in, look up and eat shit right into the curb. Since both of my feet were clipped in at this point, the crash was ugly even though I wasn't really going that fast. Plus it was downtown so I'm sure a bunch of people saw.
So I gathered myself up and took the fuck off as if nothing had happened. About five minutes later I started laughing uncontrollably to the point where I had to pull over to the side of the road. I don't even know why I thought this was funny, I just did. I think the fact that I had such a delayed reaction was funnier to me than the crash itself and this just exacerbated everything.
Haha, same here. Good stuff.
imhungry that made my morning
This still gets me everytime I watch it haha: