T Nation

Stupid Parent Rant


#1

I just need to write this down so that I can get on with my damn day.

I am the parent of an autistic child. Yeah, he looks normal, and he's fucking brilliant so people don't realize that he's "different" until they spend a decent amount of time with him. So when they tell me to "let him have fun and be a kid" or suggest that I'm hurting him by micro managing him, THEY CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES!

My son has absolutely no idea how to interact with other human beings. We have to fucking roleplay situations so that he can function in school. The behavior that seems "cute" or "funny" or "quirky" when you only see him one hour a week is the reason why he's going to be in third grade this year and he has never had a friend who wasn't a relative.

He is seen as weird by other children and my "micro managing" is necessary to prevent him from becoming some socially retarded recluse as an adult so fuck off.

When my son does something "wrong" in public, I have a very small window of time to point out what he did and explain it in a way he can understand why that behavior is not acceptable so that he can learn how to function in society.

When some stupid bitch walks up and interrupts my conversation with my son to make small talk. (and yes, it's conversation, yelling at him is useless so I don't bother) They are harming his development in their stupid, asinine attempt to "save him" from a fucking lecture.

Oh, he'll learn on his own, is that right? Because YOUR kid did. Congratulations, your kid is fucking normal, have a fucking cookie, here have two or three cookies, let me help you cram them down your ignorant fat fucking throat.

The proper response to me walking away from your unsolicited and unwanted parenting advice is not to have your morbidly obese teenage daughter follow me down the sidewalk smacking her lips and saying "That's rude! That's just rude!" smack smack "Some people is so rude!" smack smack

I told you and your fat fuck of a child that parenting my child was more important than engaging in small talk with a bunch of strangers. Since you couldn't accept that, you deserved every fucking thing you got. I hope your daughter cries herself to sleep for the next month over the things I said to her. You wanted a fucking reaction, you fucking got one you fat, stupid fucks.

If you think I'm embarrassed, you're out of your fucking mind. I am the mother of a child who seriously asks women at the hair salon why they bother paying for a haircut since they'll still be ugly and it seems like a waste of money to him.

If he sees a fat person eating candy, he asks them if they are retarded and when they say no, he asks why they are eating more candy since they have already achieved their goal of being hugely fat.

He mocks other children for not being able to read and will occasionally raise his hand to ask his teacher why the other children are so stupid.

I have to go have a parent teacher conference once a fucking week, sometimes twice a week, sometimes two or three times in a FUCKING DAY. MY EMBARRASSMENT SENSORS BURNT THE FUCK OUT YEARS AGO LADY!

I am not a "bad parent" just because I won't allow my son to be a prisoner of his disorder and end up in a padded room somewhere smearing shit on the walls. I don't need YOU to tell me to be proud of him. I am proud of him. My son is the most determined human being I have ever encountered in my life and when he sets his mind on something he cannot be stopped.

That trait, among others, is going to make him an incredible man someday. I have told myself that every fucking day since he was 6 months old to help me cope with him now and get me through the damn day. So leave me the hell alone.


#2

ok, have a great day now MG!


#3

That's fucking ace.

My little bro is socialy..awkward.. as well. Though not as much as your son.
He likes to smack womans butts though. Such a playah.


#4

Priceless.


#5

Don't we all want to ask these questions?


#6

Let the rage fucking flow!

Political correctness can suck a dick. People are fat because they choose to be, and there's no other reason. I love that your son is that ballsy, I'm thinking he'll grow to be one hell of a straight-shooter.


#7

Does your son have Asbergers? I've worked with a few kids at different places on the autism spectrum and I can tell you you're doing the right thing. Not every autistic child is born to a parent capable of properly understanding and managing their child, so yours is lucky. As for what he says in public, well, it's just what's on many of our minds anyway...


#8

Thank you so much for saying that, seriously. I think that's what it is but I won't allow anyone to test him. The schools around here let these kids get away with murder after they're officially diagnosed. They don't make them do homework or behave in school because they're "overwhelmed".

I just won't allow him to have an excuse to be mediocre. He actually does pretty good except for speaking his mind. It's really hard to tell him that he can't always be completely honest with people. He'll tell someone that they're ugly and then he doesn't understand why they don't like him because hey, they really are ugly. lol


#9

The one and only thing about Asbergers is that your child most likely actually enjoys being the center of attention. Sasha Cohen (Borat, Bruno) actually has been diagnosed with Asbergers but uses it to his advantage in comedy.

Every child I've met with Asberger's is either insanely intelligent or looks at the world in a way no one else does thereby making their insights very valuable (and often entertaining) I don't know the age of your child, but if you can get him through the pre-teens (read: hormonal changes at puberty), the hardest part is done. But that's probably all kids...:slight_smile:


#10

I used to do that.


#11

Asperger Syndrome.

Asperger.


#12

That's Connor exactly. Everything he says has to be incredibly LOUD so that EVERYONE can hear it.

Even I have to admit that sometimes it's really funny. I remember when he was five, my husband was talking to a guy he was in the army with in front of Connor. This guy used to call his car a turd because it was an ugly old clunker, and my husband had said he needed to wash his car. The guy responded "Even if you wash a turd, it's still a turd." and they all laughed.

About a month later I take him to the mall and I'm at the cosmetic counter. There was this older woman getting a makeover and she made the mistake of talking to the sweet little boy with me. I was right next to him and he was being nice, then she asks him how she looked when the lady was done with her makeup. Connor looked her up and down, shook his head, looked her right in the eye and said:

"Well, you can put makeup on a turd, but it's still a turd."

It's funny now, but at the time I just wanted to sink into the floor.


#13

Damn that was a good rant. I actually enjoyed that. It sounds liek your definaetly doin the right thing. Other people don't understand what you go/have gone through and they think in their 5 seconds they can manage the kid and set it straight lol.

Anyways being very blunt about those things are quite funny for a story haha I can only imagine situations you've been in that caused awkward silence hahaha.
It's awesome that your embarassment sensors are burnt out also ahah that will actually help you in life!
Rant on!


#14

You know what is best for your child. I hope the rant helped.

I've worked with a number of kids falling into the autism spectrum. I recently read a great book, Marcello in the Real World, with a main character with an Asperger's-like condition. Excellent story, a fiction book.

There are several fictional titles with kids with Asperger's as main characters--as a third grader he is probably too young for most, but if you'd like a list of titles, go ahead and let me know.


#15

I so feel for you.

My brother is the same way. He's seven, and autistic. The biggest issue is that he looks normal, and is freaky smart. He has a very large vocabulary, and can present himself in a way that seems normal unless a person is around him for awhile. So when he acts up, people assume it is because he's a brat, and proceed to give a million different things that need done and but into everything.

Once we were at the mall, a tiny woman with severe dwarfism walked past. He'd never seen anyone so small, to him it was both amazing and funny, so he points and laughs.

Mom jumps on the chance for another life lesson, which you know are very short-lived, but this man proceeds to keep butting in, screaming that the boy is a brat and needs to be hauled over to the woman to apologize, and makes a huge scene out of something that had been relatively minor.

Mom tells him that the boy's autistic, and the man proceeds to rant that there's no such thing as autism, and that it's just an excuse for brats to be brats, etc.

There are two things my brother absolutely cannot handle yet, and that is excessive noise, and a lot of people staring at him. Of course, everyone at this point has stopped and are staring. The man is screaming. My brother doesn't understand any of this, all he knows is that he saw someone who looked cool.

He proceeds to have a massive meltdown, falls into a fetal position, is sobbing, screaming for people to stop looking at him, he was yanking his hair and punching himself, complete and total breakdown. Of course the moron shut up and left at that point.

So, yeah.

Mom now carries these little business cards she had made, they say, "My son is autistic. He may say or do something that is rude. If he offends you, I apologize. The situation will be handled appropriately. Refrain from unsolicited advice or further conversation. Thank you for understanding."

If something happens, she hands one of these over and then leaves while the person is reading. Most of the time it works, but some idiots insist on causing a huge scene.

Anyway, thank you for taking care of your son the way you do, and making sure that he will have the fullest life possible. :slight_smile:


#16

I love you.

My older sister used to go into the grocery store and yell, "Mom, that woman's fat, and she wears too much makeup!"


#17

Be glad that you caught your child's Asperger's early...I have a 21 year old cousin with severe Asperger's syndrome that was misdiagnosed and treated as severe ADHD until he as about 18 and a new doctor finally diagnosed it. Needless to say, he requires a great deal more attention at 21 than a kid with Asperger's that was diagnosed and addressed at an earlier age.


#18

Marvelgirl, you are seriously one of my favorite posters on this site.


#19

I probably would have forcefully removed that man from the situation. Not only is it unbelievably rude to attempt to intervene in another parent's parenting, but insisting that autism isn't real? Fuck that dude.


#20

MarvelGirl, you absolutely rock.

My youngest brother has Down's Syndrome, and my middle brother, bi-polar and agoraphobia. Our mother is effectively responding to her childhood in an alcoholic home by shutting her ears and eyes and pretending everything is oh-tay.

Thanks for putting an undoubtedly great young man on the right path.

And keep mowing down the garbage in your way :slight_smile: