T Nation

STUPID HUMAN TRICKS

Yo. I see some crazy stuff in the gym. I should probably help, but I am afraid to lose all bearing. The other day I saw a guy doing squats that look like a cross between good mornings and a prison shower scene! Today, I saw a guy doing pull-downs with his upper body perfectly verticle and pulling the bar down to his gonads! HEEEEEEELLLOOOO! Entertainment in the gym - at their expense. The really funny thing is their intensity, they really believe they are doing it right! The same guys who scream at every 10 pound rep. Sorry I feel like being an asshole tonight :slight_smile: I know we have all witness some amazing feats in the gym by are aspiring lifters…

Just ignore them. When you become informed at first you want to share your new knowledge with everyone, but after awhile you realize it is a never ending cycle. If someone asks for your help it is a different thing.

I don’t mean to be rude and all but there’s this old man(mind u,he’s old) who does pushups going down 1 cm(I swear,he just bends elbow a tiiiiiny bit and straightens them again)

Is that supposed to be an exercise for seniors or what? Wondering…

I have worked out at home for the last several years, so it was a shock when I worked out in a commercial gym while I was visiting my folks. There was a guy doing seated rows, but he was only bending back and forth at the waist. I saw someone doing deads on a Smith machine. Then I saw someone pressing behind the neck an impressive amount of weight, except it was not behind the neck–it barely dropped 10 inches. That was all in only two days.

I think university/college gyms are the worst for this. I’m just comparing my current one at school to the old commercial one. I’ve never seen so many people with the exact same workout program. It’s incredible how many people manage to do flat barbell bench press, curls (with those mini barbells that have set weights) and upright rows with those same barbells. Honestly these guys do it Monday, Wednesday, Friday, week in , week out. What the fuck is with the obsession with upright rows? It’s usually first on the list. It’s more popular in my gym than the damn benches are. At any one time you can look around and there are two people doing them. And the sad part is when new kids come in, see guys doing it and then they start. It’s like a disease. Oh well, beats no rowing at all I guess. You never know though, these guys we speak of might have these exercises as a microcycle in the next 2 years of the training regimen. With that “Everything is good to a point” King style philosophy.

Trav; I think you’re right - I train at a university gym, but every once in a while I find myself at a commercial gym, and things are much, much worse at my regular gym. Upright rows, squats on the smith machine, and those fucking guys who do strip sets on the preacher curl…from 35 a side all the way down to 5 a side…5 pounds at a time, screaming after EVERY SINGLE 3 INCH REP!!! Motherfuckers!! And I hate it when the bench press bozos want to know how many sets I have left…fuck off.

Whats wrong with squats on the smith machine??? NOTHING YOU MORON!!!

Okay. I am doing some heavy Barbell Rows, pulling hard and feeling strong. All of a sudden - WHAM! This Italian dude fell off the back of a treadmill! :wink: We were all laughing, including the Italian! I thought that only happened in cartoons! My future sets were followed by many loses in concentration and laughing as I thought more and more about the way he fell… STUPID HUMAN TRICKS INDEED…

3 of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life happened at the gym. 1) In highschool we had to max out on squats for football. This kid throws 2 plates on each side on and barely gets it. He decides to throw 2 more plates on each side. He took the weight off and just collapsed. That is the only time I have seen a bar bend and stay bent. 2) A guy on my college football team had the worst form on bench I have ever seen. He is one of those guys that does waaaaay to much weight for his own good. He puts like 6 clips on and then does one arm and then the other. If you are spotting him he bitches when you try to make it do it evenly. Anyway, you can probably guess, one day he was benching (with 6 clips) the weight slides off, the bar goes flying. 3) This is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my whole life. A guy went up to the lat pull down (it was in H.S., you had to tuck your feet in under the equipment and sit on the floor) He pulled the bar down to his shoulders, and he starts squating with it. I still laugh my ass off thinking about it.

Man, sorry for being a moron. I guess I’ll know better next time. Honestly, please accept my most humble apologies.

Put your fucking name next time, wanker.

Smith machines are for homos. That’s what’s wrong with them.

So this dude on my brothers high school football team’s been talking all summer about hes been in the gym busting his ass, he goes in for the test, throws on 375 for squats and proceeds to back it out ok. Then, if you blinked u’da missed it, he does a 2 inch descent. The coach who watches the depth says as the kid starts to rack it, “ok squat when ure ready”. The kid racks the barbell grabs his leg and is injured for the rest of the day. Another story, this year kid on my rugby team comes back to school all fatted out in the upper body(but still with toothpick legs) now all I keep hearing about is how he can bench 315 for ten reps. So were at practice and doing penalty pushups for dropping the fucking ball, and Im watching everyone to make sure there all trying hard cause im the captain, and this fucker is barely moveing. SO then to motivate him Im like come on, NAME, if u can bench 315 x 10 you should be able to do full pushups. He of course replies that he is. Come to find out he believes a full bench press is to the point where the upper arms are parallel to the chest. Then my buddy tells me his 10 reps are one full and 9 with help. what a joke! One fianl story, were at the school gym with my buddy who is 300+ lbs 6’4 and plays DII ball. We rarely leg press as we can all do upwards of 9 plates. So hes in the gym and some 145lb guy is grunting moaning and doing 2 plates per side and after every rep hes starin at my friend. My buddy was dying laughing that this little weak dude was trying to act all badass!

Obviously you’ve never tried to hang a towel on a Smith Machine. Now that is where those babies really shine.

This message is to all you guys on this thread bashing smith machines. I agree that smith machines are for pussies IF they are your first choice however, a smith machine can be a great tool for many finishing exercises especially after you have fatigued the muscle. So let’s not totally bash a perfectly good machine just because YOU don’t understand the proper uses for it.

What an ignorant fucking remark! Are you 16 or something? The Smith machine has its place in the gym along with barebells and dumbbells. I use it for behind the neck presses, shoulder presses, sometimes for upright rows, sometimes for shrugs, whatever. When you make comments like that you make BBers sound like ignorant fucks and you perpetuate the myth. Before you try to flame me, I’ve been working out for over 9 years, I’m no wimp either…just pulled 505 on a deadlift last night at a BW of 182lbs.

No, smith machines are still for pussies. How is it advantageous to use a smith machine instead of a regular barbell or dumbell?

A 505 deadlift after 9 years of working out isn’t impressive. Oh wait though, did you do it on a Smith Machine? Well, that is a different story because Smith Machines are awesome and they are worth the thousand bucks they cost. They are built for women and pussies who are afraid of lifting REAL weight.

I don’t know what you guys really have against Smith machines. I am not saying they are better then squats for mass-building (they are not) but they have some advantages like
1)useful for people with back or abdominal injuries, 2) useful for front-squatting and isolating the quads from the hip/glute region. 3)can be used to train to failure, without a spotting partner and 4)useful for partials, improving static strength and improving your strength-power curve(eg power-factor training).
I am just saying that used modestly with a free-weight program they can improve some training programs. For example, I have relatively large quads and even larger hips/glutes and when I free-weight squat that area just grows too quickly. I find front-squatting and/or smith-machine squatting doesn’t stimulate the same response yet still stimulates the front quads quite well. (Exercise scientists or physiologists feel free to rebutt or analyse this statement. The rest of you arrogant clowns don’t bother replying unless you have some constructive advice to offer).

I think Smith machines are fine. I just poked fun at the guy using it for deadlifts because I don’t see how you keep the bar in contact with your skin at all time on a Smith machine. As for all the bashing of Smith machines in the recent posts, c’mon. Open up your mind and think. If used properly, tell me why they are so bad?

I think you included the right wording there Hyok. “If used properly.” If used as assistant, maybe they would be ok. BUT seems to me most people in a commercial gym use them to center their training around. I agree with the other poster (can’t remember the name) who said a thousand bucks for something to do assistance exercises on doesn’t seem worth it to me. But then again I’m not into isolating or bodybuilding.