So in April I turned 30 and I wasn’t feeling particularly bad about it at the time at all… No big is what I thought. In the last month or so I’ve been struggling with it a lot more, and I think it’s got a lot to do with not being happy with where I am at this stage in my life.
Most of my twenties were spent struggling my ass off just trying to keep a roof over my head. I ended up homeless at age 20 due to family issues, which was at a time in my town where joblessness was still at its peak after the '08 financial crisis. I took on a loan I knew I couldn’t pay back unless I got a job quick, stupid, but also I needed somewhere to live which is how I managed to get my own place. The interest was killing me, I never had a stable job for more than a year or two at most, and it took me until last year to finally pay it off and get financially set.
I didn’t take more than a few weeks off the whole of the last decade of my life. I didn’t go anywhere on vacation, I have very few good memories to look back on and feel happy about my life so far in general. It’s genuinely hard to remember how I used to be before all of that, though I am trying to get back to it, lifting being one thing I used to do that I still get enjoyment from.
Bottom-line here is that I feel like I’ve lost a good portion of my life to circumstances…
We all know you can’t get the time back, and where I spent so many years of my life looking to the future. For the first time ever when I look to the future I no longer have hope, the future I used to look to is now and it sucks. That’s pretty much the crux of the problem is that I’ve lost hope and a sense of excitement for the future.
I don’t have anyone to turn to, and I’m really just looking to see if anyone here can relate and if so what did you do to turn things around?
Thanks and sorry for the negative tone of this post.