Well hopefully some of my elder statesmen will read this.
Going through a rough time with my son, he turns 20 in May. When he was a junior in HS he decided since dad had rules he no longer had to come to my house. Divorced since he was 5. Got my kids 3 days a week every week until he was 17. Fast forward a couple of years, I helped him with college for two semesters. Only paid for books and tuition for two classes to get him accustumed to college. I went to college for 14 years so I know a little about the educational program. Year ago he got into the drug lifestyle and cost me 1000’s of dollars. I cut him off finacially and have not heard from him since.
His mom texts me today that on Monday he has a court appearance for possesion and could possibly see jail time. She is begging for help and asks not to give up on my son. I am torn and pissed off. I told her to fuck off and that if my son wanted my help then he should call me. This is just to get this off my chest, however any words of encouragement or to tell me I am a piece of shit is welcomed. I have paid child support since I caught my wife with another man and decided to leave. Just FYI I am far from some deadbeat dad. [/quote]
I feel your pain and could very well be in your situation in a few years. Right now I have to support my son.
If monetary help is all they want I would no, if your son wants your support and to reconnect give him that chance.[/quote]
I have given that option to my son other than monetary. I was a teenage father and put myself through school, so I know about adversity. However my son is not interested in that help and has avoided phone, text and emails. I appreciate the words as a divorced father my X took away my abilities as a father and enabled my son to continue his wrong path. All I have been doing is to continue to pray.[/quote]
I am also a divoriced father but in my case my ex left and my son wants nothing to do with her. My son is also pushing the envelope and I’m into the tough love area. Tonight he wanted to stay at a freind’s place and needed a clean drug test. I have quick tests and he came up positive on THC and COC. Oh - but the test must be bad we didn’t let it cool down, can I take another when I can pee again. An hour later he leaves a sample to cool on the counter and a few minutes later I check it: colorless, odorless and not even room temp. You make the call…
I get a “Screw you” and later a text saying “I’ll just stay here tonight.” I have to report this to his probation officer because as the Eagles songs says he is on a “Highway to Hell” and he can check in but never check out. It’s getting to the point that he may be better off in detention for a year.
EDIT: sorry for the over sharing - the message is that you are not alone and sometimes tough love is needed.[/quote]
No man I really appreciate it, my wife and I have had the same problems with her middle child and her X. Blended families are always tough. We have done the tough love on both of these boys and have been there trying to show them the right way. One has pulled himself out of it and is now on the right path, however my son is not even close yet.