T Nation

Stripper Dilemma...

I need some help on this one guys and gals alike:

My brother’s ex-girlfriend, that he doesn’t talk to anymore, recently graduated college, got a good job, started in with doing coke because her new boyfriend does it, and then quit her good job and started stripping.

Now, mind you, I respect and support the performing arts just as much as the next guy, but this girl is very immature and naive and this is a very bad situation for her. She is very easily influenced. I can’t even stand her as a person, but because I once looked at her as almost a sister-in-law type person I feel very bad for her and I want to try to help her. I know it’s not my place to say or do anything, but does anyone have any suggestions as to how I could possibly help? (besides slipping her a few Washingtons - I know someone was going to say it)

I DO NOT want to go into the club where she is showing her goods and mortify her. I would feel really bad. I don’t know what to do. I am contemplating beating the boyfriend’s ass and talking to her, but I just want to hear some opinions before I get to that.

I’d say beat the boyfriend…but…also go into the club…I did the same a few years ago…girl I knew started stripping, went to the club…she was mortified…and it basically scared her away from it. so…go to the club, and take a few other people she know’s, and scare the shit right out of her. then beat the dude’s ass.

How is this your problem?

How do you know all this?
I can’t understand why you are in contact with a girl you don’t like and on top of that is your brothers ex-girlfriend?

Anyhow, you aren’t in a situation where you can do anything. You don’t have her trust and you aren’t really in a position to tell her how to live her life.

She probably needs to a way worse place before she is ready to move on. Coka is powerfull drug.

If she’s doing this to support an addiction there’s nothing you can do. The only way you can help her is if she wants help.

[quote]scan7 wrote:
How is this your problem?

How do you know all this?
I can’t understand why you are in contact with a girl you don’t like and on top of that is your brothers ex-girlfriend?

Anyhow, you aren’t in a situation where you can do anything. You don’t have her trust and you aren’t really in a position to tell her how to live her life.

She probably needs to a way worse place before she is ready to move on. Coka is powerfull drug.[/quote]

He cares because he is a decent person you fool. Watching someone’s life come crashing down to a “worse place” is a horrible idea. Its good that there is someone out there willing to fit for the poor girl.

While beating the guys ass sounds good, its not practical. I would go to the club and maybe it will make her realize how her life has come crashing down around her. Make it clear that you are not there to see the other girls but to see if its true, that she is working there.

I’ve been down this road mayself and what she needs is someone that gives a damn. I don’t know if i would suggest it but I’ve been in that situation before and the boyfriend was giving me hell. To get him out of the way I set up a fake deal and instead of a buyer showing up, it was the police. Dick I know, but people who drag down good people with drugs get whats coming to them. haha I guess I would know, I’ve been on the buying, dealing, and enforcing sides of that life.

Well thats my 2cents

[quote]scan7 wrote:
How is this your problem?

How do you know all this?
I can’t understand why you are in contact with a girl you don’t like and on top of that is your brothers ex-girlfriend?

Anyhow, you aren’t in a situation where you can do anything. You don’t have her trust and you aren’t really in a position to tell her how to live her life.

She probably needs to a way worse place before she is ready to move on. Coka is powerfull drug.[/quote]

oh - i’m banging her best friend on the side, who is my ex-girlfriend, but no one knows that, so ssshhhhhh. She told me because she doesn’t know who else to tell. and she knows i am the kind of person that won’t let that happen even to someone i don’t like.

[quote]CrewPierce wrote:
scan7 wrote:
How is this your problem?

How do you know all this?
I can’t understand why you are in contact with a girl you don’t like and on top of that is your brothers ex-girlfriend?

Anyhow, you aren’t in a situation where you can do anything. You don’t have her trust and you aren’t really in a position to tell her how to live her life.

She probably needs to a way worse place before she is ready to move on. Coka is powerfull drug.

He cares because he is a decent person you fool. Watching someone’s life come crashing down to a “worse place” is a horrible idea. Its good that there is someone out there willing to fit for the poor girl.

While beating the guys ass sounds good, its not practical. I would go to the club and maybe it will make her realize how her life has come crashing down around her. Make it clear that you are not there to see the other girls but to see if its true, that she is working there.

I’ve been down this road mayself and what she needs is someone that gives a damn. I don’t know if i would suggest it but I’ve been in that situation before and the boyfriend was giving me hell. To get him out of the way I set up a fake deal and instead of a buyer showing up, it was the police. Dick I know, but people who drag down good people with drugs get whats coming to them. haha I guess I would know, I’ve been on the buying, dealing, and enforcing sides of that life.

Well thats my 2cents[/quote]

thank you

[quote]jbnh007 wrote:

My brother’s ex-girlfriend… started in with doing coke

I can’t even stand her as a person

I feel very bad for her and I want to try to help her.

I know it’s not my place to say or do anything, [/quote]

Your dilemma and what you should do about it.

Sometimes you just need to read between the lines.

If she’s doing coke and stripping I’d make sure to wear a rubber. God only knows where she’s been.

[quote]Sliver wrote:
If she’s doing coke and stripping I’d make sure to wear a rubber. God only knows where she’s been.[/quote]

wtf?! where did that come from? did you read anything that i wrote? I’m not going to do anything with her

[quote]Easy E wrote:
“Cocaine is a hell of a drug”[/quote]

priceless!

[quote]CrewPierce wrote:
scan7 wrote:
How is this your problem?

How do you know all this?
I can’t understand why you are in contact with a girl you don’t like and on top of that is your brothers ex-girlfriend?

Anyhow, you aren’t in a situation where you can do anything. You don’t have her trust and you aren’t really in a position to tell her how to live her life.

She probably needs to a way worse place before she is ready to move on. Coka is powerfull drug.

He cares because he is a decent person you fool. Watching someone’s life come crashing down to a “worse place” is a horrible idea. Its good that there is someone out there willing to fit for the poor girl.

While beating the guys ass sounds good, its not practical. I would go to the club and maybe it will make her realize how her life has come crashing down around her. Make it clear that you are not there to see the other girls but to see if its true, that she is working there.

I’ve been down this road mayself and what she needs is someone that gives a damn. I don’t know if i would suggest it but I’ve been in that situation before and the boyfriend was giving me hell. To get him out of the way I set up a fake deal and instead of a buyer showing up, it was the police. Dick I know, but people who drag down good people with drugs get whats coming to them. haha I guess I would know, I’ve been on the buying, dealing, and enforcing sides of that life.

Well thats my 2cents[/quote]

Get use to people in life letting you down bro, you can’t save everyone. And setting someone up like Crew says he did, would make you an ass. I am sure she will gladly accept your help after you nark out her boyfriend and have him locked up. Since you really have nothing to do with her already.

Not your problem stay out of it for your own benefit. Sometimes people have to crash and burn, and they either become better people or you see them blowing a dude for crack, it’s not pretty but it’s life. If you go about solving everyone’s problems people will expect you to do it all the time and not be able to take care of themselves. Also if you perform physical violence on a person you wind up looking like the a-hole, let her learn on her own it’s the only way

I have to be on the side of just staying out of it. Odds are she wont listen to you at the least and there is a definite chance of getting into a serious situation very quickly.

Police consider a domestic call the most dangerous for a reason. Getting between a girl and her coked out boyfriend could get ugly quick.

Now if it was someone you cared about or a family member that would be different, but you already stated you really dont even like this girl.

Man, I applaud you for caring about your fellow humanity, stupid as we are a lot of the time. Try the tactic that the others suggested about walking into her club with a bunch of people she knows (your bro sounds like an excellent choice). If it doesn’t work, then at least you know you tried. You can only do so much.

Hi jbnh007,

This is a tough situation to be put in because if you don’t do anything you risk looking like an asshole to the girl you’re hooking up with. After all it’s her best friend.

But, since this girl hasn’t actually told you, nor has she actually come to you looking for help, there really isn’t too much that you can do. Also, stripping isn’t the worst thing that she could be doing to support her habit.

I used to be “friends” with a bunch of strippers (honestly I would consider a couple of them to actually have been friend material) so I know it’s tough to watch someone exploit themselves like that. Several of them also became addicts, as well as several of my other friends who were not strippers.

The thing that you and your FB (friend with benefits) must realize is that these people have to hit “rock bottom”. In other words, often times it takes a really low point for them to realize that this is not the way they want their lives to be. No, it doesn’t always work out that they quit and straighten up, and sometimes they don’t even get the chance. But, there isn’t really anything that you personally can do about it.

You should tell your friend to contact this girl’s family. They are really the only ones who might be able to forcefully intervene and put an end to this. And even then, she must still make the choice to go along with what they suggest.

Good luck,

Sentoguy

[quote]scan7 wrote:
How is this your problem?

How do you know all this?
I can’t understand why you are in contact with a girl you don’t like and on top of that is your brothers ex-girlfriend?

Anyhow, you aren’t in a situation where you can do anything. You don’t have her trust and you aren’t really in a position to tell her how to live her life.

She probably needs to a way worse place before she is ready to move on. Coka is powerfull drug.[/quote]

I was thinking the same

Don’t just walk up in there, she might miss you.

I think you need to request a lapdance.

[quote]Ghost22 wrote:
Don’t just walk up in there, she might miss you.

I think you need to request a lapdance.[/quote]

ouch! lapdances…

I told her friend (my ex) to get the parents involved, but they’re both useless. The mother who she lives with would kick her out, making the situation way worse; and the father, well I’ll give him a chance before I talk bad about him.

If for some reason that doesn’t work I’m leaning towards going in there with several mutual friends. Not even going to tell them why we’re going there. Just let them react naturally, for the best effect. I’m pretty sure she’ll be too busy running off stage crying to be giving any lap dances. I was against this idea at first, but it’s the only non-violent approach that might actually get thru to her. I still want to bash the low-life, but as several people have pointed out, it puts me at risk and he’s not worth going to jail for.