Yeah I've tried all the things above. My finacee even wants to try some girlie type of stretch mark remover on me. I'm skeptical to say the least. I even heard of laser surgery but I certainly dont have the $$$.
The best idea, which hardly helps now, is prevention. Vitamin E on area prone to stretching. Plus trying to avoid getting too big too fast. Sounds silly, but when I first started to lift, I used creatine at the same time. Not a good idea. Sure I was strong like an ox, but I ballooned and got some forever ugly stretch marks around the armpit area.
If you want to be the best husband ever, and your wife gets pregnant, help apply some vitamin E to her stomach to avoid stretch marks. I'm sure she would be forever grateful.