Here in the twin cities we have a massive geese overpopulation problem. Mainly due to the increased restrictions on hunting and the ancillary issues of animal rights activists and so on, and less hunters/places to hunt as a result of that and city growth.
So, this time of year we frequently have geese crossing roadways en masse. For those of you that don’t know, geese are what i would call a “dumb” bird, much like the pretty colored ones are when it comes to cars, meaning they stand there and dont realize that a car can hurt them. Not like blackbirds/ravens, which know cars are dangerous and always avoid them.
Anyway, what has been happening everyday now is at a busy intersection geese are crossing. Imagine this scene during peak traffic (4:30pm)… You have 2 roads crossing with stoplights. Each road is 4 lanes (2 each way), plus you have 1-2 turn lanes going each way onto the other road. There are many many cars at these lights.
So, the dumb geese decide “let’s cross here”. And some overly sappy drivers decide to stop their cars right in the middle of this large intersection and wait about 4 minutes for them to do so. Mind you there is plenty of room to drive around the geese since both roads have paved shoulders, yet the drivers still don’t want to “startle” them, so they sit.
Speed limit in this area is 50mph, so very well you can have say someone coming down one road, seeing a green light, and not expecting those cars that are in intersection to still be there when they arrive.
Holy shit! I so understand your frustration. I used to work on federal property that doubled as a wildlife refuge. The compound was several square miles in size and home to untold bazillions of geese, rabbits, prairie dogs, coyotes, hawks and migrating deer, elk and the occasional bear and cougar. With the exception of the geese, all the animals knew they were just animals and people and cars could hurt them. The idiot geese waddled around like they were thinking, “Ha ha, I’m on federal land. You can’t touch me!” And sadly, it’s true. They would just step out infront of your car while you’re driving 45mph and if you didn’t slam on the brakes to avoid them, you’d get slapped with a fine up to several thousand dollars. Even “spooking” them could get you fined - so honking back at the motherfuckers was out of the question, too.
The worst part (besides the piles of goose shit you had to step around)… Those bastards would hiss at you (goose equivalent to giving you the “bird”, a solid “fuck you, you measley human”) as you walked along the sidewalk and they wanted to cross the sidewalk.
I just got that image in my head that you described about the big, busy intersection. Just imagine theres cars everywhere and people are waiting for the geese, then all of a sudden comes this big, huge Ford F-250 and plows right through like 5 geese!! I could imagine the looks on the estrogen-laced family sitting in the Pontiac Aztek watching all this. Hahaha, feathers flying everywhere. That’d be GREAT!
At least these geese are just on normal land, so it’s not normally an offense if you hit them.
Problem is most peeps think they are being soooo “kind” and “caring” that they would rather cause a car accident than spook the stupid geese. And look at how they are being rewarded for their “kindness”… Yes with poop EVERYWHERE and geese getting dumber every generation.
With the hissing, yes i’ve seen plenty of that. Geese strutting across the road sorta reminds me of peeps in the big city areas, like chicago. You get those guys that think they are hot sh*t who just strut out across the road as slow as they can, knowing full well that they will make a buttload in lawsuits from you if they survive…
Don’t even mention geese on the golf courses, that is just horrible around here. It’s so bad that the ownders of courses are currently spending a lot of money lobbying the govt to get geese labeled as a “pest” so that they can have them removed when needed. I’m not kidding in saying that some courses have thousands of them living in the various lakes/ponds.
My Grandad, like a lot of Grandads was a big bird fan, loved to have them around and fed them consistently. So you can imagine his delight when Canadian Geese decided to reside at his pond for the summer (the same branch of the flock still resides there today). God we hated those fucking things. They would chase kids around while we tried to fish and the whole perimeter of the pond was coated in “Goose Grease” not very condusive to swimming and laying out.
If there are so many fucking geese around, why are they on the protected list? I live in St. Louis, and it’s home to the famous Arch. Well, under the arch is a big grass field, about 2 football fields in size. Around the grass, there’s a few small ponds/lakes. Well, there are so many fucking geese around, you can’t do anything under the arch because there are SHIT BOMBS EVERYWHERE!! If walking under the arch, you can’t observe anything around you because you have to constantly look down, watching where you step because you don’t want that green geese shit all over your shoes.
This goose decided to make a nest in one of those tree areas in parking lots at restaurants. I was eating at Applebee’s where this goose happened to make one of these nests. No one would expect a goose to be in this 3’x 10’ area with a nest. Well, this guy walked RIGHT THROUGH that area to get to his car, and the goose hissed at him and started flying at him. It was some funny shit.
Holy shit, you have to wait 4 minutes for geese to cross the road? I can’t imagine waiting a whole four fuckin minutes for anything to happen.
I guess the thing that pisses me off the most, while I admit we do have a geese overpopulation problem, is that their natural habitat is continually being developed (geese and other natural wildlife).
Call me sentimental, but I enjoy the spring air, watching new life, new growth, and… wait… fuck it… clearcut that land, burn the stumps, sell the timber and let’s get down to business. Cut down the rain forest and grow soy beans, burn the coal, keep the smelter stacks rollin, fuck it, dam that river, you don’t mind farmed salmon do you?..
“Humans are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague, and we are the cure.” - Agent Smith
JWright: You can’t imagine a goose making a nest there?! How about a fucking goose making it on a LOADING DOCK? You know, the lovely place where you get all your deliveries and there’s semi’s and other large trucks moving in and out constantly? What did the fucking wildlife lovers do? They shut down the dock. Deliveries had to be made on the other loading dock, at the other end of the building.
Or how about a goose making one in the big concrete cigarette butt urn thingy two feet outside the front entrance to a building with about 500 employees? Granted, there was a pair of double doors and this urn was just outside one of the sets. People had to use the far set of doors AND deal with the constant hissing of that bitch.
Oh wait, this one is even better… This spring, a goose made a nest ON THE CENTER YELLOW LINE OF A FOUR LANE ROAD!! And you know what happened? The fucking wildlife loving assholes on the Fed. property SHUT THE STREET DOWN. You had to take a five block detour AROUND the fucking goose!
