Stink Bugs, Grossest Story Ever

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]bluebrasil wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
What are midges?[/quote]

Only the best fly-fishing bait EVER!!![/quote]

you must be a very keen eyed angler, if you can get a midge on the end of a line, they are absolutely tiny. Tiny, but made up of almost nothing but teeth and blood sucking ability.

[/quote]

Maybe I’m that good and maybe you don’t know much about fly fishing.

http://www.midcurrent.com/articles/flies/oswald_midges_in_paradise.aspx
[/quote]

Shame. The thought of people out there sticking hooks into the wee bastards elevated my heart somewhat…

I was staying in a REALLY low-end hostel/guesthouse in Cambodia with my girlfriend at the time. 6 bucks a night or something to that effect. We’re ready to go to sleep. I look over at her and say something romantic (“I could have opted for the 4 dollar guesthouse, but I went with the 6 because you’re such a special girl!”) when I notice that the top of her pillow is moving. Pulsing and undulating, more accurately. I alert her to this new-found development and we leap out of bed and into the corner. I poke at it with a long rattan cane that was by the door for some reason (to fend off bandits?) and this enormous centipede darts out of the pillow at surprising speed. It was about a foot long and glistened in the moonlight. When it dropped to the floor I think it was looking for a hole to escape out of, which I interpreted as “it’s coming right for us!”. I take brute, clumsy swings at it with my beating stick, but my nerves are completely shot and I’m up on my tip-toes like a hysterical woman from the 1920’s, so I didn’t even get close to a kill shot. “KILL IT!! KILL IT!” my girlfriend was helpfully suggesting at the top of her lungs. It finally retreated into the wall in a hole I didn’t even realize was there. We didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

I informed the owner of the guest house - an 80 year old Cambodian woman - about our little incident and the ensuing terror and lack of sleep. She started cackling (literally CACKLING) like a cheap animatronic witch in a haunted house at a state fair.

Later that day I took my missus to a shooting range. We were given the option to blow up a cow with a bazooka for approx. $550 USD. We declined.

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
I was staying in a REALLY low-end hostel/guesthouse in Cambodia with my girlfriend at the time. 6 bucks a night or something to that effect. We’re ready to go to sleep. I look over at her and say something romantic (“I could have opted for the 4 dollar guesthouse, but I went with the 6 because you’re such a special girl!”) when I notice that the top of her pillow is moving. Pulsing and undulating, more accurately. I alert her to this new-found development and we leap out of bed and into the corner. I poke at it with a long rattan cane that was by the door for some reason (to fend off bandits?) and this enormous centipede darts out of the pillow at surprising speed. It was about a foot long and glistened in the moonlight. When it dropped to the floor I think it was looking for a hole to escape out of, which I interpreted as “it’s coming right for us!”. I take brute, clumsy swings at it with my beating stick, but my nerves are completely shot and I’m up on my tip-toes like a hysterical woman from the 1920’s, so I didn’t even get close to a kill shot. “KILL IT!! KILL IT!” my girlfriend was helpfully suggesting at the top of her lungs. It finally retreated into the wall in a hole I didn’t even realize was there. We didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

I informed the owner of the guest house - an 80 year old Cambodian woman - about our little incident and the ensuing terror and lack of sleep. She started cackling (literally CACKLING) like a cheap animatronic witch in a haunted house at a state fair.

Later that day I took my missus to a shooting range. We were given the option to blow up a cow with a bazooka for approx. $550 USD. We declined. [/quote]

LOL!

Avoid Cambodia - check.

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]bluebrasil wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
What are midges?[/quote]

Only the best fly-fishing bait EVER!!![/quote]

you must be a very keen eyed angler, if you can get a midge on the end of a line, they are absolutely tiny. Tiny, but made up of almost nothing but teeth and blood sucking ability.

[/quote]

Maybe I’m that good and maybe you don’t know much about fly fishing.

http://www.midcurrent.com/articles/flies/oswald_midges_in_paradise.aspx
[/quote]

I know nothing about fly fishing and you probably are that good

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
they’re comin out again like crazy here in MD[/quote]

Same here.

We get Elder bugs by the shitload, also.[/quote]

is that what those fuckers are called? I live in MA and I find them clinging in groups to my back screen door. Sometimes one will make its way into the house.

The one thing you ‘southern folk’ (ie New Jersey) don’t have to deal with are black flies.

Here we are with still a foot of snow on the ground and the bugs are already out. In the bush these things get so thick you literally can’t see your hand in front of your face. Hurt like hell, too.

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
The one thing you ‘southern folk’ (ie New Jersey) don’t have to deal with are black flies.

Here we are with still a foot of snow on the ground and the bugs are already out. In the bush these things get so thick you literally can’t see your hand in front of your face. Hurt like hell, too.

[/quote]

I’ve heard of them. Fucking bugs man.

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
I was staying in a REALLY low-end hostel/guesthouse in Cambodia with my girlfriend at the time. 6 bucks a night or something to that effect. We’re ready to go to sleep. I look over at her and say something romantic (“I could have opted for the 4 dollar guesthouse, but I went with the 6 because you’re such a special girl!”) when I notice that the top of her pillow is moving. Pulsing and undulating, more accurately. I alert her to this new-found development and we leap out of bed and into the corner. I poke at it with a long rattan cane that was by the door for some reason (to fend off bandits?) and this enormous centipede darts out of the pillow at surprising speed. It was about a foot long and glistened in the moonlight. When it dropped to the floor I think it was looking for a hole to escape out of, which I interpreted as “it’s coming right for us!”. I take brute, clumsy swings at it with my beating stick, but my nerves are completely shot and I’m up on my tip-toes like a hysterical woman from the 1920’s, so I didn’t even get close to a kill shot. “KILL IT!! KILL IT!” my girlfriend was helpfully suggesting at the top of her lungs. It finally retreated into the wall in a hole I didn’t even realize was there. We didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

I informed the owner of the guest house - an 80 year old Cambodian woman - about our little incident and the ensuing terror and lack of sleep. She started cackling (literally CACKLING) like a cheap animatronic witch in a haunted house at a state fair.

Later that day I took my missus to a shooting range. We were given the option to blow up a cow with a bazooka for approx. $550 USD. We declined. [/quote]

Uh, a foot long?

I’m on the next flight out of there.

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
Two things I don’t miss about (Southern) New Jersey (besides traffic and douchebags):

Greenheads and Stink Bugs[/quote]

Damn right! Plus, in the past 5 years fuckin’ Cave Crickets have taken over. They look like big spiders that jump like crazy.

[/quote]

I miss crickets and hoppers. =/ The insect life in Scotland is pretty strangled compared to the likes of America. Cept for the fucking midge. I’d rather have to contend with scorpions than midges.

DAMN YOU MIDGES!!![/quote]
I spent time working on the U.S. Navy dry dock at Holy Loch and these bastards are nasty. you look out the window and they were all over the glass trying to get in. we have their American cousins here in the South called sand gnats or no-see-ums. their bite feels like a needle stick. we put on Avon Skin So Soft to repel them. I’m lucky in that I don’t itch from bites from them or mosquitos.

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
What are midges?[/quote]

Only the best fly-fishing bait EVER!!![/quote]

I was thinking that, and then when I saw you said that I picture a little girl in a pink tutu and pig tails saying it.

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]bluebrasil wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
What are midges?[/quote]

Only the best fly-fishing bait EVER!!![/quote]

you must be a very keen eyed angler, if you can get a midge on the end of a line, they are absolutely tiny. Tiny, but made up of almost nothing but teeth and blood sucking ability.

[/quote]

Maybe I’m that good and maybe you don’t know much about fly fishing.

http://www.midcurrent.com/articles/flies/oswald_midges_in_paradise.aspx
[/quote]

Shame. The thought of people out there sticking hooks into the wee bastards elevated my heart somewhat…[/quote]

Lol. You do understand you don’t use normal hooks for fly fishing?

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]bluebrasil wrote:

[quote]SteelyD wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
What are midges?[/quote]

Only the best fly-fishing bait EVER!!![/quote]

you must be a very keen eyed angler, if you can get a midge on the end of a line, they are absolutely tiny. Tiny, but made up of almost nothing but teeth and blood sucking ability.

[/quote]

Maybe I’m that good and maybe you don’t know much about fly fishing.

http://www.midcurrent.com/articles/flies/oswald_midges_in_paradise.aspx
[/quote]

Shame. The thought of people out there sticking hooks into the wee bastards elevated my heart somewhat…[/quote]

Lol. You do understand you don’t use normal hooks for fly fishing?[/quote]

:wink: I was being facetious, but to be fare I know jack about fly-fishing or fishing in general for that matter. I’ve always been of the uneducated opinion that fly-fishing didn’t actually use real flies, but mock lures the size of flies?