I can’t pretend to know the intricacies of a marriage - as I’m far, far from being in such a relationship. (Sidenote, I don’t necessarily buy into the institution of marriage/monogamy so take this all in stride.)
But - I don’t think I can overstate how much of a lose/lose situation you’re in. Did your use start after your relationship formed? Before? I don’t think there’s any real obligation to sharing this kind of information until you start to approach that big “M” word. At that point - IMO it’s all about setting all the cards on the table and saying “Here I am.”
Now, I don’t know if it’s the best idea to bare all at this point, it seems like you kind of made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. If you did tell her, however, I’d keep an incredibly close eye on what you have lying around, your stock of items and everything related to it. Knowing women and the crazy that comes with them, there’s no way of telling what kind of sly maneuver she may be pulling behind your back if it significantly impacts her views of you and the marriage.[/quote]
All good points.
But no I haven’t started anything yet, probably will be up to a year before I do at any rate. Would like to build up my disposable income and have at least another year of training before I would start. I’m just trying to plan this out as well as possible, starting with my relationships. We’ve been married 8 years, have already been through a semi divorce early on, kinda had to put petty shit behind us and just grow together.