T Nation

Staying Tough


Holy fuckkk just had a doc appt today and my gfs fetus is in jeapardy. I am barely keeping my gf from losing it but honestly im barely keeping it together myself. Allowed myself to love the shit out of this baby and now might lose it. Gahhh


Lose it in private. Be strong as hell with your girl.
I hope your baby makes it.


Sometimes there is no staying tough. In January my son was 4 mos. old and contracted the flu. I have no qualms with the fact that it scared the shit out of me and I went absolutely nuts. He was stuck in the hospital on IV fluids, under medical supervision, and I was completely powerless over the outcome or his well being. The best I could do was to simply be present and available to my wife, but to do that it was really important and helpful for me to be with people that I trust and know care about me so that I could just cut lose with the emotions and break down completely (and safely).

I hope you and yours can make it through this well enough.


Wish the best for you and your girl; my son was a high-risk pregnancy case, and there were a few nerve-racking times throughout. I know how you feel. Hope and pray for the best, and be there for her. That's all you can do man.


I really can't express how much I hope for your families sake this works out for the best.

But you kind of have to come to terms with these feelings, because they don't go away. (I will say the insecurity and worry about the safety of your child is intensified with a Daughter over a Son, at least in my experience. While I worry about my Boy very very much, it isn't as frightening as it is when I worry for my Daughter.)

Once that baby comes out of the womb, it is perfect, wonderful and represents all the good that life has to offer us. But that is only step one in the battle


Just to be clear, I'm not trying to down play your emotions or the current situation. But rather offer the perspective that, if everything works out okay, which it should, this won't be the last time you feel this fear. The good news is feeling this fear is a GOOD thing. It shows how you really feel and what kind of father you will be.

Shit, I picked up my 15 year old son at the movies the other day, and the state of panic I was in because he was one of the last people to leave the theater was insane. All these thoughts and crazy Hollywood movie plots ran through my mind. When he finally walked out a clam rushed over and I felt great, like the couple seconds after an icecream headache fades... Wonderful


That is the one thing no one ever tells you about when you have a child on the way- the random horrible acts you will imagine happening that put you into a pure panic. But then you look at your baby and he is still drinking his bottle of milk or sound asleep. It's the worst thing in the world what your mind will concoct and how powerless you feel in that situation.

OP, I hope and pray for you and your family. Words aren't enough...


This x2. Set aside some time to break down and cry. I'm not kidding, you will be able to be stronger for mom if you do. I've been in similar shoes before, and there's no way I could have been the rock if I'd kept it all in. Find a way to vent.

Hope everything turns out ok bro. How far along is she?


Good luck. What exactly does 'in jeopardy' mean if it helps to tell us.


I will pray for you, your gf, and the baby. A child is a wonderful gift.


Someone once told me, the day your first child is born, is the last goodnight sleep you will ever have.

Now I think I understand, from this thread.