I have a dark sense of humor.
Im really full of butterfly kisses and warm fuzzies. So stop your damn crying.
Listen, I am truthfully concerned about your situation, and I offer this advice:
1.Grind up oatmeal into powder and mix it with protein powder, then add flax-oil to it. 1.5 cups oatmeal is around 90 grams of carbs. Drink this 3 times a day between meals.
3. Live and breath your goals, but dont over analyze.Dan John style.
4.Big movements burn calories. Big movements build big muscle that burn big calories. And so on.
5.Endurance work,though not always, is a poor way to improve body comp.
I did not mention anything about AAS because you should research ALL THE DETAILS of these drugs before using them. The human body is always ins earch of homeostasis, dont complicate its work.
I went from a 165lbs. Muaythai fighter to a 210lbs. powerlifter in a year without AAS. Im nothing special, I just worked hard.