Paxil saved my life.
New member here, though I've been reading the forums for a while. This thread made me finally decide to post.
In 1998, while in the Marine Corps, I was involved in a helicopter crash in the former Yugoslavia. I crushed my hip, destroyed my knee, and broke just about every rib on my right side. In a nutshell, I was fucked up.
Three months after the crash, I was diagnosed with PTSD. (post traumatic stress disorder) I would have 4-5 panic attacks a day that would either lead to me passing out or in the emergency room. Nothing helped.... except beer and liquor. So I self medicated.
I had been a regular weightlifter. I was in the first days of becoming a bodybuilder of a sort, after learning about the very first body-for-life contest. I remember trying to pack in enough protein from food on a navy vessel. Wasn't fucking easy, lemme tell you.
Well, that all went to shit. I was a crippled alcoholic, now. I was honorably discharged with 100% disability. I was (am) pretty damn good with electronics, so I was able to get a decent job.... until I drank it away. Then I drank away the next, and the next.
I never set foot in a gym again. I went from 190 at 10% body fat to 315 and probably 60% body fat. I smoked and drank and abused pain killers.
Then, just last year, I found paxil. I have not had a panic attack since.
I was able to quit drinking. 10 months now. I have not used a pain killer in 10 months either.
On Christmas, I even quit smoking, and decided to return to the gym. I quit all my bad habits....the soda..the crap.
So I guess I'm the biggest newb here. I've been weight training for exactly 17 days, and before that it's been almost a decade.
....and I don't give a shit.
I'm going to get big while I get small. I'm going to lose this fucking gut and regain my guns. This time, they're going to be bigger, though. Much fucking bigger.
Can you come back from panic attacks? Fucking right, you can. Bigger, stronger, smarter, and harder.
(fuck all the other crap...at least try paxil)