T Nation

Started Going Out with Girl. Please Help


#1

Hello everyone, I will explain everything in bullet points so that I give you precise points without making this too long to read.

  • Met a girl on tinder. On an average 1 text each day. This went on for 2 months as she was abroad on holidays so couldn’t plan a meet up.
  • She comes back to town. I ask her out for drinks. She says she wants to take things slowly and that she will meet me in college for coffee.
  • Accidently bumped into each other in the gym . Had a brief conversation with her. Later she messages it was nice to see you at the gym today :slight_smile:
  • Finally we meet in the college for coffee . Date went on for 2 hours. Before leaving she asks when will we meet again.
  • I ask her over text whats the next plan gonna be. She sets up a date for drinks in a bar at 9pm. Date goes well. I invite her to come over to my place for dinner she says maybe next time. We leave from the bar and her mother is there to pick her up. (She is just 19 , i am 24)
  • Next date is going to be a movie date.
    IMPORTANT POINTS - - - She says she has come out of a long term relationship that’s why she wants to take things slowly. She doesnt flirt at all. She never initiates a conversation but always replies when I text her. I really like this girl . She is a decent girl who is focussed on studies and i know for sure she doesnt sleep around or did in past which makes me want to be in a serious relationship with her and thinking long term. SO GUYS TELL ME WHATS THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT IN THIS SITUATION? Should I initiate hand holding in the cinema and then may be a kiss ? Should i ask her where this is going what exactly she wants and express what I feel about her ?? PLEASE HELP GUYS. Thanks .

#2

This is T-Nation. Be the Alpha. If she resists your advances, respectfully understand her decision and go from there . If you can’t handle that, ask the question bluntly.


#3

Don’t know about movie dates mane… the point is not to interact with other people. May as well not go together at all.


#4

Beware the friendzone. If there hasn’t been a kiss, I’d say you are behind the 8 ball from here.

I’d be wary that she likes your attention and is stringing you along for that. You only learn how to read these things with experience so play along but have an exit strategy - preferably one that involves banging her mom on the side.


#5


#6

Have you tried… hitting her?

Also, be sure to put it in her pooper.


#7

Your virginity is showing.

Advice: She’s on Tinder brah and doesn’t flirt with you? Sounds like she has another man in her life. Instead of asking her out to the movies, try the popular “netflix n chill”. If that doesn’t work I would abandon hope. She could also be a nun in training, you never know till you ask


#8
  • Pull out of this movie date. It’s too tough to get things going. My mate used to be able to get a gobby 4/5 times but they were with skanks and he was gifted. Lol

  • Stop trying to be her friend. The longer you guys hang without you rubbing your hands all over her, the more difficult it gets. You have already proved you arnt a creep with the 2 months of leg work and the couple dates. Now prove you arnt gay by sticking your pee pee into her vee vee.

  • Netflix n chill is a solid option. Bonus points if you can get her to come over to your place late. She will be less inclined to go home if the movie finishes at midnight.

  • She is 19 mate. She wants it. She wants it so bad but is being the good girl. Let her know that being a bad girl is totally fine when it’s just you two.


#9

This made me spit out my breakfast :joy::joy:


#10

From a dude in his mid 30’s who’s been out of the game for a bit, would you literally ask her to “netflix and chill” ? or do you use more subtle language like “how about we just catch a netflix movie instead of going out”?


#11

I’d also like to know if that strategy applies if like me your still rocking the physical media,
Bluray and chill?..


#13

Dude She sounds like a great and decent gal. Don’t listen to the stupid comments. Just go at her pace and how she’s comfortable. Yes, you can hold hands during the movie. Make a move and see if she likes it or not.
For the kiss i’d say take the hints and see if your gut gives you an A-Okay and then go for it.
Best of Luck


#14

Take her to do something where you can interact with each other. Like mini-golf for example.

Movies are for old married couples that just want 2 hours of peace away from their spawn…


#15

You could grow a spine and ask her “where do you see this going?”

Then stfu. Let her answer. It may not be the answer you want, but if she hesitates and breaks eye contact first… she’s thinking up a lie not to hurt your feels. If she returns the question, answer honestly.

Communication, try it.


#16

She’s also only 19, just try and have some fun and go from there.


#17

Succinct and sage advice from a old motherfucker (it’s true, he has kids).

In all seriousness OP, you’re worrying about this waaaaay too much - you play a scenario up in your mind to the point where you dread it not coming true, you become paralyzed with fear and neglect your enjoyment of the moment.

Collect yourself - and stop visualizing yourself with this person and just enjoy your time with her. You say you like her, then like her and not the idea of what she may or may not be.


#18

Dude this is 2017. If you haven’t kissed this chick by the second date (more likely the first), your in a deep hole. It’s basically the fourth quarter and your down by 3 touchdowns. So swing for the fences! in your case you better take this chick on some unique as hell date that somehow ends back in your bed. As well I would recommend alcohol…


#19

Superbowl reference?


#20

OP, this is what we sane, experienced guys call, fucking retarded advice.

Complete with mixed sports metaphors … just sloppy @slabtown_slammer. Sloppy as shit.

Don’t listen to this guy - I doubt he’s ever gotten his head stuck in a woman’s vagina like yours truly.

Stop stressing about it, and enjoy your date. Drop any notion or expectation that the date may bring, and genuinely enjoy the date.


#21

try and kiss her. What’s the worst that could happen? You’ve got to be confident in your ability to seal the deal