T Nation

Star Wars Virgin

I admit it. I have managed to squeak out almost a quarter-century of life in a non-third-world country having NEVER SEEN ANY FRAGMENT OF A STAR WARS MOVIE!

I also work in the scientific community. About 90% of my male co-workers randomly ejaculate upon hearing the first 5 notes of “The Imperial March.” The obscene anticipation for this final prequel that has been hovering around me for the past month has been all I can handle. I have made up my mind. I have to watch this. It is my duty as an uber-nerd to incorporate this as part of my being. I must embrace it. I must buy a plastic lightsaber at Wal-Mart for $24.99. I must touch myself whenever I watch a movie with Carrie Fisher. I must genetically engineer a pet Ewok.

I’ve decided that I’m going to watch the entire sequence, but I have a question: Should I start with Episode 4, like everyone else has done, or should I begin with Episode 1? Thoughts? Opinions?

Also, are there any other Star Wars virgins out there? Maybe I just feel like a damned freak due to the demographic of my colleagues.


IV. Don’t ruin the great original trilogy by watching the garbage new ones first.

Dude, you must, must, MUST watch them in the order they came out. The end of ESB (episode V) sits up there as one of the best endings to a movie of all time. You watch them in order and it’d be quite boring actually…no suspense…

Without question, start with Episode IV. Then watch V, then VI. Then stop. Do not soil the greatness that is the original trilogy by watching the “Prequels”. I respect that Lucas is trying harder with the current movie, but the fact is that with Episode I he dug a hole that he can’t ever climb out of. Instead of a story that was even mediocre, he gave us a walking poop + fart joke and expected fans to love it. He sold out every classic fan to try and recruit new consumers out of the youngsters. He’s also a liar.
But the original 3 are spectacular!

Watch them in the order they came out. Feel free to pretend the prequels never happened (although Revenge of the Sith wasn’t half bad).


ok watch them in order. Episode 4, 5, 6.
Then skip Episode one. that was just horrible.

Episode two, although not of the same caliber at all, and almost like a totally different genre, is still a lot of fun to watch. I mean i remember everything from episodes 4, 5, and 6. Episode two, when i watched it, was one of the most etertaining movies i ever saw… i mean the action and some comedy… i thought it was just great. real fun to watch. but right now i dont remember anything out of it. it’s not a classic or anything, just like a normal summer blockbuster, a very entertaining one,

But there is one thing about Episode 2 that i really loved… all the little things from the original episodes that show up in episode 2. they show you all these locations and all these ppl from the first episodes, and just seeing them made me feel great.
that was the only thing that brought it close to being a “star wars” movie and not a totally different type of simply another summer blockbuster.

then DEFINITLY watch Episode 3. Just saw it yesterday, and it was beautiful.

FREAK!!! Just watch’em all in order, your gunna get horribly confused if you don’t.

[quote]GriffinC wrote:
FREAK!!! Just watch’em all in order, your gunna get horribly confused if you don’t.[/quote]

You do have a point here, but if he’s really interested in getting into it he’ll research his way out of the confusion pretty quickly. I think it’s only the people that really don’t get into it and don’t care about the story that get confused.
So I’d say start with 4 too. This way you’ll be able to feel all the appreciation of a classic story told with people and imagination, not CGI.

Here’s a primer I’ve thrown together in 3 minutes:

Yeah, watch the original theatrical versions starting with IV (“A New Hope”). George Lucas went insane at some point and started messing with the movies adding in extra garbage. Don’t get those versions.

Then go out and find yourself a recording of the original “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” radio play and listen to that. After that, read the book, and then watch the BBC television series.

Then watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Monty Python’s Life of Brian, and finally Monty Python’s Meaning of Life. When you have done that, track down the old Monty Python records such as the “Contractual Obligation Album” and listen to them.

Then find the text file “Bastard Operator From Hell” from somewhere on the Internet and read through that.

Then find the old file “Real Programmers Wear Hiking Boots” and read that.

Now it is time to watch every episode of the original Star Trek series as well as the 70’s Dr. Who series, specifically the seasons starring Tom Baker.

Rent “War Games”.

Now you are almost ready to start working in high tech.

Yes, Dr. Who.

I despise saying this, but if you really haven’t seen these movies, then you’ve been set up for the most colossal let down of all time.

There’s no way these movies can live up to the hype to which they’ve been subjected (hence the inevitable doom of Episode I -although it didn’t need to be as bad as it was).

Keep in mind that these movies we made roughly 50 years ago (or however the hell long it’s been), so we’ve all had time to grow up with it.

Ah well. Good luck and try to have the lowest expectations possible.


I’d see it as a great oportunity to see it a way almost nobody else has. The whole story in order, starting with nr 1. That said, I’m pretty sure you already know the story anyway, so it’s almost the same.

uhhh… The first one came out in 77, that’s 28 years ago. So not quite 50 years.

As far as being disappointed, you just need to realize that a lot of people grew up on these movies, and so they’re going to mean a lot more to those people than they will to you. But they’re cool fun movies even if you don’t worship them. Just have an open mind.


Yeah, they seem timeless to all of us who were say 6-18 at the time Star Wars came out in 1977. Those of us who are 33-45 now are “the” Star Wars generation.

I remember I saw Star Wars in the theater when it came out, then I joined the official fan club and had every damn poster on my walls as a kid, saw Empire in the theater, then saw a Star Wars / Empire double feature in the theater… built Star Wars models of X-Wing fighters, you name it. Star Wars was like a defining piece of culture for a little boy growing up in the late 70’s.

But for someone who didn’t grow up with that, I dunno, it probably isn’t all that special.

Not true. I was born in 81 and I’m the biggest SW geek I know. I think the story’s just such a classic, from a fantasy as well as mythological standpoint. It’s just influential on so many levels. Perhaps not the new ones as much, they’re too much technology and not enough thoughtful storyline, but if there’s enough faith in the originals I think it’s ok for them to just look pretty.

Start with episode 7.

I was between 3rd and 4th grade when they came out. I remember I was part of a group who were being treated to a movie, and the discussion was between Star Wars and Charlie Brown. I said I already saw the movie, so I wanted to see the Charlie Brown Cartoon.

That was right about the time the movie was exploding in popularity, and I wasn’t aware of how popular it was. Once I noticed all the craze, I went and saw it again to see what I had missed.

I don’t think it is possible to not know what is going on in the movies, but if you really don’t know, see 4 - 6. Then 1 - 3. The impact of 5 doesn’t mean as much when you already know what has happened, but I am not sure it is possible not to know now.

Recently I heard a person say he really didn’t understand all the interest in Star Wars, but had never saw the first 3 movies, (or is that last 3?) and he said he now understands.

I would really like to lean what the original back story was before the new movies were made.

Oh yeah. Don’t forget to watch Spaceballs after seeing the movies. At least after 3 - 6.

[quote]Imbrondir wrote:
I’d see it as a great oportunity to see it a way almost nobody else has. The whole story in order, starting with nr 1. That said, I’m pretty sure you already know the story anyway, so it’s almost the same.[/quote]

This is along the same line of thought that I was considering. How many people out there have been able to watch the movies in chronological sequence? It would be unique. Of course, watching the films in sequence of release would be the obvious choice, but I thought that starting with Episode I, perhaps, might be kind of cool.

And for the record, I know absolutely nothing about the storyline of Star Wars, except the following:

(1) There are Jedis, and Jedis kick major ass.
(2) Wookies are furry, and to the amusement of my friends, I can emulate their voice quite well.
(3) Ewoks live on Endor (thanks, South Park).
(4) Darth Vader is Luke’s father, and obviously has some severe pulmonary issues.
(5) The special effects are far superior to that of the “Star Wars Kid” MPEG redubs that were PLASTERED all over the Net for a couple of years.
(6) One of my friends tries to invoke the Force every time he attempts to set a new PR. I really have no idea what that means, though.


Well the original episodes now suck as well. Oh don’t get me wrong i loved (past tense) Star Wars but the prequels made me dissasociate myself from them. They sucked is an understatement. So i fell back to the originals again and enjoyed them. So when my tapes became a PITA to watch and were getting old i popped in the new DVD releases of the originals. Boy was i dissapointed again. The original episodes have now been hacked too. Scenes removed, sound bits edited out to soften it up, stupid out of place scenes added. Granted some scenes spiced it up a “little” but the feel got totally changed.

There is a scene in Empire Strikes back when the rebels are figting the oncoming ATAT’s and there’s a blaster cannon that gets obliterated with the oprator on it. You could hear his screm as he perished, it added grim realism to the scene. In the new dvd…GONE, erased, like it never happened. After that i just turned it off and never watched them again.

"One of my friends tries to invoke the Force every time he attempts to set a new PR. I really have no idea what that means, though. "

Lol. Wonder what Yoda could bench? :wink: Lol the mental image is hilarious.