I had a similar situation,and wasted three months of my life trying to get back together and make it work.
As I look back now I wish that I had cut off all contact and moved on.
You really don’t need your head being screwed with,so let her go,I know its not easy at first,but it will save you a lot of stress in the future.
Take Warhorse’s first comment and post it everywhere you’re going to see it in a day - in your car, on your mirror - that’s your new mantra. Whether or not she decides to move in with you, she’s not mature enough to handle a relationship with you. Cut bait, move on. I swear that there are many mentally healthy, attractive women out there to choose from.
I appreciate all the replies, especially since nobody here is going to bullshit me or tell me what I want to hear. That’s valuable info.
I feel like Gay Focker from Meet the Parents right about now, you know the end of the movie when he feels like the life has been sucked out of him. Haha, I guess that’s what happens when you go a month without food, money, exercise, sex, sleep, sunlight, fun, etc. Glad it’s all over finally. There is beer to be drunk so I’m out.
To those that have been helping me out with my woman situation, you might get a good laugh out of this.
Two days ago, my best friend called me and told me that he heard through the grapevine that my girlfriend (ex as of earlier this week) has been dating this guy for 4 months. I live 3 hours away from my home town, and even though I have my boys keeping an eye on her, she was pretty sneaky about it. I don’t even know if the 4 months part is true, especially since she signed a lease to live with me 3 months ago, but at this point I don’t care. I called her and confronted her and she denied ever sleeping with the guy, so I was still able to hold back my anger.
Later last night I went to my brother’s apt complex for a keg party. He’s bouncing off the walls screaming and cussing, tells me that his girl’s little bro told her that my ex’s bro is telling people how she’s been cheating on me. Like it’s cool or something. It gets better. Before I left for the party, another friend of mine called me and told me that she ran into a guy last weekend that said he slept with her the night before her friend’s wedding. I heard that she was “flirting with some guy” before but she denied it.
So I decided to leave a little message on her home phone for her parents and brother to hear. It went something like this: “Since you hang up on me and don’t have the balls to come clean in person, I’d rather not talk to you anyway. In the last 24 hours, I’ve found out that you fucked at least 2 guys when we were together and there are probably more. I would be depressed too if I couldn’t keep my pants on long enough to realize that I had a decent guy who never cheated on me once. I’m just glad I didn’t start paying your damn rent, or God forbid put a ring on your finger. Your brother thinks it’s cool to tell people that his sister is cheating on her boyfriend. You must be very proud. I’m going to make your little decision easy for you: either pay the 800 you owe or the landlord will take you to court for the full 2300, I don’t care either way. All I know is I don’t ever want to see your dirty ass again. Have a nice life in the trailer park.”
My drunken pissed off brother couldn’t restrain himself enough not to call her house, so I let him. He left another message that was far more obscene. Called her a dirty fucking whore and said that he’s glad she didn’t get our DNA. The whole time I was screaming in the background.
Her dad calls my bro’s cell phone and leaves a message about how he contacted his attorney, how he lives in a 400 thousand dollar home, and how much of a shitty car my brother drives. He said he hopes he sees us out. Who says that shit? Not only is the guy a frail old man with 10 inch guns, but he knows damn well that I’d brutalize him. He never had the balls to do anything to her ex that hit her, but he’s going to call his attorney now? Someone is in need of T replacement.
She eventually called my bro’s cell phone with her parents by her side, and we unleashed the fury on her and her family. I told her if she were a man I’d beat her ass. Her dad got on the phone, and I told him that I’d gladly rip his heart out and eat it if he ever stepped to me. Must have called him a little bitch 20 times. I said “your daughter’s a whore and I’m glad I got out before she got knocked up like she’s been trying to do for a year and a half.” I also reminded him that he had someone who was willing to take his psycho piece of shit daughter off his hands but that now he can keep the slut. He started with the attorney shit again, and said something about how this phone conversation’s being recorded and he’s going to play it in my office someday when I’m a doctor. I said, “record it, remember it, write it down, take a picture, I don’t give a fuck!”
I’m sure her mommy and daddy are wiping her tears and telling her that she’s an angel, but she knows deep down that she’s a worthless pile of shit. I told her to do the world a favor and to just kill herself. Harsh? Maybe. She made a lot of enemies and I have many friends back home who can’t wait to tell her how much of a dirty rotten bitch she is. I guess that’s cool, but you guys are so right when you say that it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re involved so deeply. All the signs and red flags were there. My weakness is that I have a heart. She obviously does not. When I told her I wanted to leave her, she begged for my forgiveness and told me that she wants to have my babies. So I went against my better judgement many times and look where it got me. But hey, I’m free now and I’m much wiser. You live and learn.
Oh yeah, I also told her dad that I stuck it in her ass. Ha!
Well look at the bright side. You will never, ever have to worry about her coming back to you, crawling on her hands and knees, saying “Baby, I know I made a mistake. Please forgive me and take me back.” One word of caution: attorneys can make your life miserable for a while. Even if this guy does contact an attorney, it probably won’t go anywhere unless you threatened to kill him, but for a short period of time, it’s going to be a distraction to you. You’re about to go into medical school, right? The last thing you need right now is to be dealing with pissant legal matters while studying gross anatomy. On a slightly different subject, has anyone else noticed that whenever a girl leaves you, she always has another guy that she’s already seeing? I have yet to see a woman leave a guy, be by herself for a while, then start a new relationship. There’ always someone on the side. What the hell is that?
Man, I’m really sorry to hear it all went down that way. There’s nothing worse (almost) than having a long-term relationship fall apart on you. Just remember to keep your head up, and don’t let anything that happens now mess with your education or your future. The girl obviously wasn’t who you thought she was, and you’re better off.
Use your head. Do you really want to stay with someone that has given you this much shit? If she shit on you once, she’ll shit on you again, and that’s a fact.
Dude, that phone call was great, but maybe a little over the top. I wouldn’t have let your bro call. If I was you, I’d get an attorney, but you might have to wait for the lease to end to sue for the full 2300. The 800 you can do because she hasn’t fulfilled her end here lately. If she doesn’t pay up, then take her to small claims court, or just go on Judge Judy 
StevenF: trust me man, I’ll never talk to the bitch again. She knew that if I ever found out that she cheated on me I’d drop her like a bad habit. That’s why she’s been lying and still won’t admit to it. She’s a weak person and she hates herself. At least now her family knows that their little princess is a waste of a life.
JWright: Do you think I should get an attorney because of what was said over the phone? I did tell her dad that I’d rip his heart out and eat it, but he threatened me first. I also have her on my answering machine telling me that if I ever call her house and tell her parents that she’s a dirty fucking whore again that she would kill me. I’m not really worrying about them pressing phone harassment charges because 1) I only called her once and left a civil message saying that the game is up and that I don’t ever want to see her again and 2) our hometown police are well acquainted with her family because of the last guy that she fucked with. She has a restraining order against him (because I went with her to the courthouse and spoke for her) and has been to court numerous times for the charges against him. Maybe they’ll realize that this type of thing doesn’t happen to normal people more than once and that these people are psychotic. The difference is that the other guy wasn’t good enough for her and he could never let it go because he fucked it up. I’m never going to call her again because I know that she’s trash. I really don’t see how they could possibly try to press charges against me. Menacing maybe, but they menaced me first because they didn’t like to hear the truth about their daughter. Either way, I have her on tape threatening to kill me. Crazy bitch.
Do any guys out there believe in the rule that you should never try to get serious with a girl that lets you hit it on the first date? I always have but I guess I must have forgotten at some point. So I guess it’s my own fault for trying to make myself believe that I could trust someone who got nekkid with me the first night we met.
JWright: One more thing, the money for the lease is out of my hands now. It’s between the landlord and her. He will take her to court if she fails to comply with his offer to let her out at the end of July. So she can sign the papers, pay 800, and be done with it, or get sued for 2300 and legal fees. Knowing them, they’ll try to get an attorney to make a deal based on their belief that I’m a “crazy dego.” I’d actually rather go on Dr. Phil. That would be great.
Almost seems like a Jerry-Springer worthy episode! (Just Kidding!).
You stood your ground.
Watchem now all backpedal, play the sorry game, etc. Predictible. DONT CAVE IN.
Anyway, if the infidelity thing is true, dont feel guilty about it at all. When she acted that way, she knew what she did. You dont get into someones bed by accident. Drunk or not is not an excuse. Anyway, by acting that way repeatedly, she forfeited her right for pardon. She always had the option of talking about it before doing something crazy. She had the liberty to think about it too. Seems like she took the easy (childish) route. You need a woman, not a girl. May she regret very long that she had someone nice. Some dorks never learn until its too late.
And, what the hell, is making a baby a coupout or an emotional outlet? Good thing you did not fall for the baby ploy.
Nuff said. Keep your balls and dont cave in. FIND BETTER! All the Best, it can be done. Patience is an excellent ally. =0)
Wow, talk about burning your bridges.
Dude, you don’t need a girl at all… Especially if you’re in Med school or about to start Med school.
You’ll hook up with someone eventually but it shouldn’t be your main focus right now. Forget that chick, she’s a skank, and will always be. Once she ropes a dude to have kids, she’ll be tied down for the rest of her life. Some girls just have that “biological clock is tickin’ like this” syndrome and can’t shake it. My ex wife was one of those, for example, and I’m glad it ended when it did. She found a dude as soon as we split up and ended up having a baby within the first year of them being together. Leave the folks out of it, get your money back, and move on.
Good luck
Brad
So I guess that means it over then?
Sorry this happened to you but it’s good that you found out when all you needed to do was tell her to get fucked.
If you both signed the same lease the landlord can’t just take her to court. If this is the case, he has to take both of you to court because you are both on the same lease. Then you have to take her to court, instead of the landlord having to do it. If you signed separate leases with separate rents, then that’s fine, and he can deal with it. I asked my landlord about that because my old roommates were total fucks and didn’t give a shit, whereas I took care of my room. She said since we all signed the same lease, she can’t just charge one of us for the damages, but rather split it 4 ways. Make sense?
You went to court for her? Aw, man, something about women who want guys to lobby for them. Not to hijack your thread, but I had a girlfriend who got me to help her get rid of a stalker. It turns out she had tons of guy friends she was sending all kinds of mixed signals to and I should have never gotten involved with her. Any other guys know what I’m talking about? And yes, of course, no matter how much they cry and are “devastated” when you break up with them, they’re “in love” with someone else within three weeks…
Point of law: Actually, whether the landlord can take just one roommate to court depends on the actual lease and whether state law allows it. If the lease specifies joint-and-several liabilty for the lease amount and state law allows it, then each signatory is liable for the entire amount, and the landlord can take any or all of them to court (in which case, it would be up to those named to join the others as parties to the suit). Just an FYI.
Scrub –
Trust me – as much as it sucks, you are far better off with it ending now than ending later. Take some time and have some fun with some willing playmates – nothing serious – just remind yourself that there are plenty of non-psycho girls out there, and plenty of them will be happy to spend some quality time with Dr. T-Man.
As to your observation about not getting serious with a girl who lets you hit it on the first date – probably a good call – my ex fiancee let me hit it on the first date, and I’m lucky that ended at that stage.
Paul: A lot of girls are not going to get into a new relationship without having some other dude in the wings – they’re too scared to just break it off completely without having someone to catch them. I can’t remember where I heard this one, but they’re like chimpanzees traveling in the trees: they won’t let go of the branch they’ve got until they’ve got another one firmly in their feet.
peternf: I feel you on the games dirty bitches play. I’ve just taken the place of the last guy she tried to fuck with. I’m the new bad guy, but the difference is that I really don’t care about the bitch anymore and she won’t see me stalking her worthless ass. I said my peace last night when I made it clear to the parents because I’ve been dating them also. Just wanted them to know that their princess is a low down dirty cum-guzzling gutter slut. I know I’m an asshole but they had it coming. If you act like a whore you’re going to get treated like a whore. I’ve already talked one of her friends into coming to visit me for the weekend. Not that I care if it pisses off my ex, but it can only be a good thing if she knows I’m not wasting any time.
JWright: I think your situation may have been a little different. My landlord is a friend and that’s why he agreed to let her out of the lease early. I think he has the right to choose not to evict me while he goes after her for her share. He told me he would do this and he owns a few properties, so hopefully he knows his rights. I should ask him though. That would suck if I had to waste any more time in court with this bitch. I already have to go with her in September for another appearance with her stalker. I’m actually seeing where the guy was coming from. Sick man, sick.
Sorry to go off on a tangent,
Paul you’re right. It seem to me that the reason women can do that is that they always keep around one or two Platonic friends that they can bump up to the next level. Theres always some loser looking to get his curling in the squat cage, estrogen boosting groove on as soon as your well muscled, squat built ass is out of the way. Anyway when have you seen women move up in the dating world with these guys. Usually theres a reason that they lurk in the shadows.